


Oh, But You're Good to Me

by WitchyGirl99 (Witchy99)



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Adoptive Father Inuyasha, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Found Family, Parental Self-Doubt, Shippo is 4 and smol and deserves the world, this story is nothing but my feelings and you can tell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:08:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 58,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28268169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witchy99/pseuds/WitchyGirl99
Summary: It’s a terrible photo, really. The action figure takes up the entire bottom of the screen and part of both of their faces. Shippo’s giggling though, eyes shut and crinkled in his mirth while Inuyasha looks at him. His expression is clearly fond. It’s the softest Inuyasha has ever, ever seen himself.This is fatherhood, he thinks a little wildly.He sends the photo to Kagome.Inuyasha is a single father. Shippo is his adopted son. Kagome isn't supposed to be in the picture, but somehow, she returns anyways. A story about family, love, and all of its obstacles.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, InuYasha & Shippou (InuYasha), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Miroku/Sango (InuYasha)
Comments: 197
Kudos: 231





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is roughly 58k, so I've divided it into chapters. It's fully written and mostly edited so I'll be updating every 2-3 days.
> 
> First: An _endless_ amount of thanks to [Wolfcry77](https://wolfcry77.tumblr.com/), who I commissioned to do art for this fic. Who forgave me for promising her that I would have all the scenes written for her to look at for the art in October when in actuality it was...early December? She is amazing and wonderful and I can't wait for you to see her _phenomenal_ art. Thank you, my dearest darling!
> 
> Second: Back in October, I became obsessed with this idea of Inuyasha as a single father to Shippo, and I couldn't get it out of my head. So I wrote it and then panicked, because what do I know about parenthood? Thankfully, [Mamabearcat](/users/mamabearcat/) saved me by reading this and reassuring me it wasn't terrible. She even _drew her own art_ for it which I still can't believe. This fic literally would not have happened without her because I probably would have given up a quarter of the way through. Thank you so much, my love.
> 
> Third: Happiest of birthdays to [MandiRox89](https://mandirox89.tumblr.com/)! I hope your day is as wonderful as you.
> 
> You all will be blessed with art in this fic, I'm telling you (when it shows up in later chapters).
> 
> Title taken from the song _Would That I_ by Hozier.  
> It was 100% inspirational.

There is one thing you’re going to need to get straight, right from the beginning: Inuyasha didn’t plan for any of this.

In fact, if you had told his two-year-younger self that _this_ was going to be where his life went, Inuyasha probably would have screamed. Or punched you. Or both. Both is probably, actually, the correct answer.

Because Inuyasha is known to be many things: snarly, irritable, cocky and overly stubborn. His favourite method of communication is grunting and if that doesn’t work, then a scowl is a perfectly fine follow-up. His cooking is shit so he eats a lot of takeout and he has one best friend and a half-brother. Said best friend was mostly an accident while his half-brother is, unfortunately, not (being born from the same father and all, even on _purpose_ ). He works a perfectly reasonable nine-to-five as a technical account manager which he hates only a normal amount, and while his apartment isn’t perfect, it’s also affordable and within walking distance of his job.

You may be wondering: Why these details? What’s the big deal?

We’re getting there. Hold the fuck on, please.

Because— _Because—_

Eighteen months ago, Inuyasha made a decision. He debates whether it was a smart one only about sixty percent of the time now, which is actually really impressive. Growth, that’s what that is. Maybe fatherhood really has matured him. It certainly matured a few of his hair follicles (he’s found four greys and he is _not happy_ ).

Right. That’s it. Fatherhood. Inuyasha is a dad. A single dad because Inuyasha doesn’t really get the whole _relationship_ thing. Not that this is _why_ he’s a single dad, but he’d always preferred one-night stands. Or he had been, until he cock-blocked himself rather permanently.

Shit, off-topic again. Okay, _fatherhood_. Yes, that. That big, overarching stage that many adults fall into, either voluntarily or not. Strangely, this was voluntary. Not so strangely, Inuyasha wonders just how fucking crazy he is to have done this. Because he? Is not _Father of the Year_ material. He’s not even _Fun Uncle_ material.

But he saw that chubby face, with those big green eyes and a mop of orange hair that was frankly terrifying. He watched, dumbfounded, as the kid rolled a ball at him with all the solemn seriousness of a chess master playing their queen. The kid was sitting in the middle of the sidewalk and utterly, terrifyingly alone. And Inuyasha had one of those horrible moments that they always talk about in books or show in movies, where the protagonist has a big flashback of their past, cumulating into a demon they could never shake that is finally realized, crystal clear, into that epiphany-laden _moment_. He remembered himself, young and also utterly alone, throwing a ball that no one would throw back.

So yeah: Inuyasha didn’t plan for any of this.

He especially didn’t plan for Kagome-fucking-Higurashi.

But that, dear readers, is for Inuyasha to complain about loudly and _you_ to read on and witness firsthand.

* * *

“Okay,” Inuyasha tells himself, patting at the pockets of his jeans. Cell phone, check. Wallet, check. Keys? On the shelf, where they always are. Good. That’s good. He’s only fifteen minutes late. Sesshomaru’s going to bitch at him anyways so this is really just making his life easier. While Inuyasha is normally grossly opposed to that, some things can’t be helped.

Like for one, Inuyasha is exhausted. He had barely slept last night and then this morning was a disaster of astronomical levels. Mostly because Shippo was displeased with the notion of pre-school for the fifth time in as many weeks and Inuyasha burned the roof of his mouth thanks to his coffee. He’s honestly offended the beverage that keeps his body alive would do him so dirty. Work had been fine, the usual bullshit wrapped in false pleasantries, and then the gods had bestowed him with a tiny gift of kindness in the form of Shippo actually smiling at him when Inuyasha came to pick him up.

God, he’s a sap now. A big fucking sap. He hates himself almost as much as he’s secretly pleased by this latest development. He’s only had Shippo officially for the last six months and it’s been… Well, slow-going is one word for it. Careful, definitely. Shippo’s never had a stable homelife, not until Inuyasha almost stepped on him on the sidewalk and randomly decided that _hey, why not try fatherhood_? How badly could he fuck it up?

There are days Inuyasha is pretty sure he’s fucking up big time, but no one has called child services on him yet, and the pre-school teachers seem to think he’s mildly competent. That might just be because he’s punctual in picking Shippo up, which is a laugh because Inuyasha is _never_ punctual.

Like right now.

“Yasha?”

“Got all your stuff?” he asks, looking down at his son. _His son_. What the absolute _fuck_.

Shippo holds up his backpack and nods, seemingly pleased. Inuyasha takes it from him and passes him his jacket, helping the four-year-old put it on and giving him his Velcro running shoes. It isn’t really that cold out, but Inuyasha is terrified his first failing as a parent is going to be letting Shippo freeze to death accidentally. The whole jacket-and-shoes-thing takes far longer than he expects but Inuyasha is still getting into the groove of parental timing. When Shippo’s all bundled up, they trudge into the hallway and Inuyasha bites back a curse as he re-opens the door to get the kid’s backpack that he almost forgot.

Honestly, when will he get this _right_?

The apartment is situated on one of the upper levels, so they have to wait for the elevator to come. Like always, Shippo stares at the big, shiny silver doors with something like trepidation before he tugs once solidly on Inuyasha’s jeans and then holds up his arms. The kid doesn’t look at him while he does it, but Inuyasha gets the message loud and clear. Maybe it’s for the best, because Inuyasha hates making a big deal about shit. Shippo seems to be the same way, which is probably bad? Is he emotionally stunting his child already?

Whatever. He fits Shippo onto his hip, wondering how much longer he’s going to be able to carry him. According to blogs that Inuyasha swears he’s never read, at this age, kids don’t want to be picked up and should walk on their own. They should be encouraged to do so. But Inuyasha knows that Shippo was never held all that much before he came into Inuyasha’s life, so he figures he has some remedying to do. If Shippo wants in his arms, the kid will fucking go there. If he’s arms break, they break. In the six months they’ve been together, the kid’s already grown so much. Is this why adults are always yapping about time moving too quickly and shit? Probably.

Once they get outside, Inuyasha judges that it’s actually not that cold out. The park they’re going to isn’t far away, so even though they are horrifically late, Inuyasha decides to walk. “Want down?” he asks Shippo, who is idly watching the people they pass on the street.

The kid shakes his head. “No.”

And that’s it. It’s exactly what Inuyasha would’ve said, too. Maybe he should speak more so Shippo has a better role model? Is that a thing he should be doing? God, he’s fucking this up, isn’t he?

He needs coffee. Desperately. He always spirals a little internally when he’s tired, which is basically every day because he’s exhausted all the fucking time. Kids are a lot of work, and even though Inuyasha is twenty-eight and therefore, still young, it never feels like enough. Coffee will help though, he’s sure of it.

There’s a coffee shop on the way, about a block from the park they’re going to. It’s one of the benefits of living in the downtown core, where cafés are so commonplace you literally just have to sneeze and one appears in the blink of an eye. They get there in record time since Shippo is in his arms, and the two wait in line until it’s their turn.

“Did you want chocolate milk or anything?” Inuyasha asks Shippo, twisting his head to get a proper look at the kid. He seems content, at least. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking though. Jinenji always jokes that Shippo inherited Inuyasha’s resting scowl face, which is both hilarious and tragic. Hilarious because little old ladies will say just how much they look like (which, they absolutely don’t, are you fucking blind) and tragic because there’s no way Inuyasha passed that on in only six months.

God, Inuyasha needs _coffee_ or this spiral is going to consume him. Fuck, he’s a sap, sap, sap, sap, _sap_.

Shippo starts to wriggle, which Inuyasha knows is code to be let down. He realizes that he’s being ignored though, so he keeps hold of a hand and gently tugs. “Eh? Do you want milk?”

“Chocolate?” Shippo asks, and Inuyasha recognizes that facial expression. It’s the big eyes, all earnest and shit. Like he thinks Inuyasha is going to say no even though he very clearly was the one to make the offer in the first place.

“Chocolate milk, got it,” Inuyasha replies. He loosens his grip on Shippo’s hand, just so the kid doesn’t feel trapped, but the redhead keeps holding on, big eyes curious around the coffee shop and the people within it. There aren’t that many customers. There’s an older couple in front of him, at the cash, and a teenager standing to the side waiting for their drinks. There’s a small scattering of folks at tables and chairs but its dinnertime, so they’re few and far between.

They are _so late_.

Inuyasha hears the door chime behind him but it’s the same time as the cashier waves him up. Shippo tugs his hand out and instead holds his pants, so Inuyasha orders a large coffee for himself and a chocolate milk, as promised, for Shippo. He’s in the process of paying when he hears a startled “oh!” from behind him. At first, Inuyasha twitches at the sound, not thinking much of it.

And then he remembers _he has a son_. A son who is currently _no longer holding on to him_.

Inuyasha spins around and there’s nothing graceful about it. He lost grace the second he started parenting, which he thinks is only fair. There, a few feet away, is Shippo, tugging on the hand of some woman in a baseball cap and big sunglasses. Her hair is tied back and she’s wearing casual shit, like leggings and a big sweater, which Inuyasha notes is incredibly comfortable looking and extremely attractive.

Fuck. He’s attracted to the look of _comfort_ now that he’s a parent. Something about the feeling just calls to him. Shouldn’t be a surprise, really, but Inuyasha is nothing if not stubborn.

“Yasha,” Shippo says, smiling at him. “She’s pretty!”

Six months. Six months in and Shippo has _finally_ mortified him. Inuyasha was always told that this would happen, but he had hoped for another few months at least. “Shippo,” he says through gritted teeth. “We don’t harass strangers.”

Shippo glares at him like he’s stupid. That’s fair, but not helpful. Inuyasha resists the urge to stick his tongue out at him. “She’s pretty,” he insists. He tugs on her hand again. “Why are your glasses big?”

“It’s okay,” the young woman quickly assures him. She’s been staring at Shippo the whole time, probably confused and a little delighted because the kid is cute, Inuyasha will give him that. It’s those big, stupidly earnest green eyes. Sucked him in, didn’t they? She squats down until she’s Shippo’s height and then points to her glasses. “They’re big because some people like big glasses.”

But then she looks back towards Inuyasha and he frowns because—

Well. That voice is familiar. And the face, even hidden as much as it is, is too. It looks a hell of a lot like—

“Inuyasha?” the woman says, sounding incredulous. His name is barely more than a hushed whisper though and _oh fuck_ , it is. It is her.

Kagome Higurashi, the first girl he ever fell in love with. Also, currently a television star. Inuyasha _has not_ been stalking her online, thank you very much. That was one time while drunk and honestly, he stands by it. Everyone gets _one_ , don’t they?

“Ka—” Inuyasha cuts himself off, because right. She’s a television star. Probably why she’s wearing sunglasses indoor like a weirdo. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi.” She sounds like she can’t believe it. That makes two of them at least.

Shippo, of course, cuts in then because this awkward, stuttering moment isn’t complete without his opinion on the matter. “Where’s the milk?”

Right. Fuck. The milk.

Inuyasha turns around to see that his coffee and the chocolate milk are already waiting for him. The cashier seems bored and there’s no one else besides Kagome in line, so she clearly doesn’t care about their stilted reunion. The girl is actually staring at her nails intently. It’s when his manners kick back in though, so he opens the milk carton and sticks in the straw, bending down to coax Shippo into letting go of Kagome’s hand so she can order. He leaves his coffee until he’s sure Shippo has a handle on the drinking thing, and then nearly crashes into Kagome when he stands up to get his own drink.

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” Kagome gushes, sounding horrified.

Inuyasha blinks at their proximity because holy shit, they’re standing so close. He hasn’t been this close to her since they were both fifteen and fumbling through what it was like to like someone. He swallows the first thing he wants to say (it was stupid) and then the second (it was also stupid). Instead, he shrugs. “No coffee spilt so I’m fine.”

“Good. Right.” Her sunglasses are so dark that he can barely make out her eyes. Inuyasha suddenly wants to take them off but restrains himself because he’s an adult, for fuck’s sake. “Did you want to, uh, talk?” She looks around the coffee shop and the few nosey patrons who are not-so-subtly watching their disastrous reunion, and then grimaces. “Outside?”

“Sure,” Inuyasha responds. It comes out like a grunt, because that’s what he’s like. Kagome just smiles at him and even though it’s been over ten years since he last saw her, he knows it’s the genuine thing.

“Yasha? It fell.”

Jesus _fuck_ , he has a _child_. Inuyasha looks down to see Shippo staring forlornly at his chocolate milk. The tiny carton is on the ground, straw thankfully not touching the floor and the open lip of it – which he had smartly shut back up because Inuyasha tends to learn from his mistakes – is resting on top. What that means is there’s only tiny droplets of milk seeping from the cracks around the straw, so he picks it up quickly and judges the damage: minimal.

Inuyasha eyes the straw and then goes to get another one. “Did you drop it?” he asks idly, getting a napkin to wipe at the edges.

“Nope, there was a thing.” Inuyasha looks down at him, eyebrow raised in disbelief. Shippo stares back at him guilelessly because he’s smart as fuck. He holds his hands back up for the milk carton. “And it fell.”

“You dropped it.”

“No,” Shippo insists. His fingers make grabby motions and Inuyasha doesn’t sigh, but it’s a close thing.

“Okay, but be careful. Next time the milk might spill and then we’ll have no more.” Shippo simply takes a long sip and stares at him. Inuyasha is utterly doomed. He shakes his head at himself and then corrals Shippo to the entrance, noticing that Kagome is just grabbing her drink from the counter. Inuyasha is about to leave when the cashier calls out to him, reminding him that he hasn’t, in fact, grabbed his coffee yet.

He is so fucking exhausted.

By the time he has his coffee in hand, lid properly affixed, and has assured himself that Shippo hasn’t lost his backpack, milk, or one of his shoes, Kagome is waiting outside. She’s standing in an odd corner, where the coffee shop connects to an office building that is significantly larger and more imposing. Her head is ducked and she’s leaning against the brick, clearly trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. When they finally get to leave, she looks up and smiles at them. Her attention instantly zooms on Shippo. “Is your milk good?”

He nods. “Chocolate milk is my favourite. And nuggets. And cake.”

“Those are definitely the best things,” Kagome confirms gently, her smile growing wide. Inuyasha can only stare at her because this is completely surreal. There’s no way that he’s standing in front of Kagome after all these years, since they parted on shaky terms when Kagome was a wreck and Inuyasha was a natural disaster. He likes to think that it’s hormones, but Inuyasha is officially an adult now and standing before her makes him feel the exact same fucking way.

He realizes belatedly, only after Kagome looks up at him and her one eyebrow shoots up, that Inuyasha is a shit father and hasn’t done any proper introductions. Maybe that just makes him a shit human being, though. God, he needs to drink the fucking coffee already. “Shippo,” he says, hand on the boy’s back. “This is my friend, Kagome. Kagome, meet Shippo.” He takes a breath, because the next part almost makes him feel emotional, which is very much not his style. Yeah, he is absolutely one-hundred-percent emotionally stunting his child, fuck. “My son.”

Both eyebrows shoot up at that and Inuyasha desperately wishes she wasn’t wearing her sunglasses. It’s getting dark out, first of all, and second of all those expressive eyes were one of his favourite things about her. To her credit, Kagome’s smile doesn’t fall or shift or change. If anything, she smiles wider and then bends down to Shippo’s level. “It’s nice to meet you, Shippo.”

Shippo grins at her, big and toothy. Inuyasha is fiercely jealous, which is only temporarily mollified by pride when his kid sticks out his hand like a little adult. “Nice to meet you,” he repeats, and it sounds a little rehearsed, but he’s still smiling. “Ka—Kago—”

“Kagome,” Inuyasha reminds him.

Shippo sends him a look and then nods. “Kagome.”

During all of this, Kagome is clearly charmed. Inuyasha is too, damn it.

“What are you guys doing out here?” she asks, and even though she’s looking at Shippo, the question is clearly directed towards him.

Inuyasha clears his throat, scowling at the fact he feels so wrong-footed right now. “Just going to the park, though we’ve probably missed it now. We’re having dinner at Sesshomaru’s.”

That gets another double-eyebrow raise. “That sounds fun.”

“I play with Rin. She has this toy, and a wagon. We make cake and play house,” Shippo announces, practically wiggling at the thought. “Do you like cake?”

“I love cake,” Kagome assures him kindly. “What kind of cake?”

“The best cake,” Shippo answers, as serious as he ever is.

Inuyasha snorts. “The best plastic cake around.” When Shippo looks up at him inquiring, he nods assuredly. “The best cake.”

“Are we going there yet?” Shippo asks then, little face contorting in a frown.

“Yeah bud, we’re going there now.” Sesshomaru was going to absolutely _murder him_. Inuyasha grimaces at Kagome because as much as this is nice – strange, wonderful, gut-wrenching, but definitely nice – he doesn’t want it to get too late. Shippo still needs a bath, and then there will be stories because there are always stories. And tomorrow is another day. Still, he can’t help but look at Kagome once more, at the way she’s taking them both in with an expression he can’t parse behind her glasses. “So what are _you_ doing here?”

“I’ve been here for a few months, actually,” Kagome answers. “We shoot the show here. We’re finishing the second season.”

Right. Inuyasha definitely knew that and not because he was stalking her success online like a forlorn ex-boyfriend. They were never boyfriend and girlfriend, even though they kind of, definitely were. “Oh,” is all he says, because he’s an idiot.

Kagome bites at her lip – she’s always done that, always – and then makes an abortive motion with her hand. Inuyasha gets distracted by a tug on his pants, and Shippo is reaching for him, chocolate milk carton unsurprisingly missing. Inuyasha can’t even see it on the sidewalk. He automatically bends down to pick him up, tucking him in tight as best as he can while not dropping his coffee. He wants to fuss at Shippo’s jacket, because he’s that kind of parent apparently and it’s slightly too big. Everyone assures him that’s the smart thing to do when they’re at this age, though, but what the fuck does Inuyasha know. Shippo accepts the awkward, coffee-holding fussing like he accepts all things, though his gaze is focused on the woman standing close to them.

“Will Kagome come?” Shippo asks suddenly, glancing at her to make sure he’s said her name right. When she simply smiles, Shippo practically beams.

Inuyasha blinks at him because this is honestly cruel on so many levels.

Thankfully, Kagome laughs. “Oh no, sorry Shippo. I have to go home.”

“Why?” Shippo asks, because he’s four and he loves that question.

“Because home is the best place for me to be.”

“Why your home? We’re going to a house.”

Kagome grins and reaches out to bop his nose. She whispers to him, like what she’s about to tell him is some ginormous secret. “Because I have to have my own dinner.”

“Oh.” Shippo considers this for a second before he nods, though he doesn’t look all that impressed. “Okay.”

“Wow, only two whys,” Inuyasha laments, glaring at his son. “How come I usually get like five?”

Shippo doesn’t deign to respond. Of course. His unhappiness has already shifted back to a smile in Kagome’s direction. Jesus.

“It was good to see you,” she says suddenly. Inuyasha is so surprised that he mostly just stares at her, face probably twisted in that resting scowling face everyone tells him about. “We should catch up.” She makes a face, barely decipherable with her glasses, before she shrugs. “If you want to, I mean.”

“Yeah, no, yeah.” Inuyasha is nonsensical and exhausted and Sesshomaru is still going to murder him. But Kagome wants to see him again and that is… Inuyasha can’t even fathom what that is.

Her smile, if anything, gets bigger and she pulls her cell phone out of her pocket. “Since you have your hands full, I’ll just get your number and then text you.”

“Thanks,” Inuyasha replies, and is his voice sounding a little breathless? That’s weird. That’s very weird. This is not a _breathless_ situation. It feels like one though, as he gives his number over and then watches as she sends him a text. He doesn’t feel his phone vibrate but that’s because he probably has it on silent. “I guess I’ll see you, then?”

“Yeah,” Kagome responds, tucking her phone away. She turns her attention to Shippo then, her smile somehow growing softer. It’s not a look Inuyasha really wants to see because, you know, _feelings_ and shit. “It was nice meeting you, Shippo.”

“Can I see you tomorrow?” he asks. He has the gall to reach out towards her, enough that Inuyasha has to rebalance them both to stop the impending doom of dropping his child. Kagome laughs, an easy thing, and Inuyasha doesn’t even roll his eyes.

“Maybe not tomorrow, but soon. I promise.” With that, Kagome ducks out of the corner they’ve been tucked in and disappears down the street. Inuyasha can’t help but stare. It still feels surreal, like the past twenty minutes never happened at all.

Oh god, twenty minutes.

Sesshomaru is definitely, absolutely going to murder him.

* * *

His half-brother is nothing but resolutely punctual, a trait that apparently comes from his mother’s side. It explains a bit why Inuyasha doesn’t have it, but to be fair, his own mom didn’t live long enough to imprint her timeliness. In the end, it’s an easy decision to avoid the park and head straight for Sesshomaru’s house. It’s only two blocks further, in a tiny subdivision that’s incredibly old – hence, why it even exists in a city filled with condos and skyrises. Inuyasha chugs his coffee just before they arrive, ditching it in a trash can and then properly fussing over Shippo’s jacket the second he has his hand free.

“Yasha,” Shippo complains, glowering at him.

“Don’t give me that,” he replies, poking at his cheek. “If you die of hypothermia, I will never forgive myself.”

“What’s hypo—hyther—"

“Hypothermia,” Inuyasha repeats, even though he doesn’t expect Shippo to say it back. “It means you get really, really cold. But a bad cold. You get sick.”

Shippo grimaces at him, wrapping his tiny arms around Inuyasha’s neck. “I’m not cold.”

“Good,” Inuyasha replies. He can’t help himself from adding, “You’ll tell me if you are, right?”

He only gets a nod for his parental insecurity, but it’s fine. Shippo has never had a problem telling him off before.

By the time they’re in front of Sesshomaru’s place, Inuyasha manages to get Shippo to walk again so they can trudge up the little walkway together. His tiny backpack bounces as he skips ahead, clearly excited to see Rin. She’s maybe the only person Shippo has ever seemed excited to see, which also resolutely _does not_ make Inuyasha jealous. He is not being betrayed.

Even though he definitely fucking is, holy shit. He’s the _worst parent ever_.

Inuyasha lets them both inside without knocking because a) it pisses Sesshomaru off and b) he’s been here enough that waiting outside is stupid. They’re half-brothers and even though they barely tolerate each other, they’re all each other has left. It’s sad, really. But it’s also sad Inuyasha only has one friend so like, he can’t really judge.

“You’re late.”

The deep, monotone voice floats into the mud room. Inuyasha does stick his tongue out this time, and only belatedly realizes that Shippo was watching him. His kid grins and Inuyasha has only three seconds to wonder at what horror will befall him when Sesshomaru enters the room and Shippo proudly waddles up to him and sticks out his tongue.

His half-brother stares down at Shippo blankly before looking at Inuyasha. “Pleasant.”

“He’s four,” Inuyasha replies, steadfastly ignoring the fact that his kid only did it because he was mimicking him. Sesshomaru doesn’t have to know that, though. It’s best for everyone if they think he’s still a mature adult who can parent properly. He can’t, but whatever.

Sesshomaru hums, disinterested as always and disappears back into the house. Inuyasha has to wrangle Shippo back to get him out of his jacket before they both can follow. Dinner is clearly ready, the smell of it making Inuyasha’s stomach rumble embarrassingly. Right, he forgot to eat lunch. Again.

Shippo is cheerfully calling out Rin’s name, disappearing to the play room. Inuyasha follows his half-brother because that’s where the food is. “What’s for dinner?”

“Why were you late?” Sesshomaru counters, like an asshole. Inuyasha glares at him.

“We ran into someone. Lost track of time.” He doesn’t say sorry because he would honestly rather die than give Sesshomaru the satisfaction. He also doesn’t mention who he ran into. His half-brother probably wouldn’t remember her anyways, and if he did, he likely wouldn’t care. “Did Rin have fun?”

Sesshomaru nods, fully focused on the food and getting dishes out. Inuyasha automatically heads for the cutlery, eyeing dinner so he knows what to get and then setting the table. The kids have their own utensils and their own drawer, which they usually have the kids pick from. Tonight, since they’re late, Inuyasha gets what’s needed and hands his half-brother the bowls.

It’s oddly easy, even though they don’t really talk. They never have. Sesshomaru is ten years older and while that gap seems much smaller now than it had when he was nine years old and freshly an orphan, things between them have never been brotherly. This silence though – the way they move around each other with a strange familiarity that has only been built over the last year – is good.

When Sesshomaru hands him the full plates of food to bring to the table, Inuyasha takes them wordlessly before calling the kids. Rin and Shippo run in, a stampede that sounds like fifty feet rather than just four. Shippo is laughing, green eyes twinkling, and Inuyasha can’t help but swoop down and pick him up, tossing him into the air. His laughs turn into giggles, cheeks flushed red from excitement, and despite Sesshomaru’s disapproving look for playing in the kitchen, he doesn’t say a word.

While they all munch happily, listening to Rin talk about her second-grade classes and Shippo babbling about what he did today, Inuyasha thinks to himself that this is good. It’s really good.

Maybe he’s got the parenting thing down okay after all.

* * *

Days go by and it’s a blur of routine and exhaustion. Parenting is exhausting, no one fucking tells you that. Or if they do, they don’t tell you enough. Inuyasha doesn’t regret a single second of it, but his internal Parent Approval Rating fluctuates from sixty percent, to forty, and then back up on a good swing to seventy-five. It’s because Shippo doesn’t argue with him during bath time, excited for once because Inuyasha bought him a rubber toy that looks like the stuffed fox Shippo drags everywhere.

“And then Mango goes all the way up the hill…” Shippo tells him, a long-winded story that Inuyasha lost the plot of about five minutes ago. He makes humming sounds at all the right points though so Shippo’s serious face never turns into a glower. He’s unusually animated and it’s nice, for once, to think that the kid is finally relaxing a little.

The first three months were rough. Shippo didn’t seem to believe him when Inuyasha said he was coming back, every time he had to leave him at pre-school or drop him off at Jinenji’s for last-second babysitting when a work thing popped up. In fact, Shippo had seemed to regard him as the Adult of the Day; not in a cruel way, or even in a disinterested way, like Sesshomaru. Just…in a factual way, and it made Inuyasha feel those pesky fucking feelings every time. It’s why he’s never late in picking Shippo up, and it’s why he doesn’t really go out.

He only has one best friend and his half-brother, so really, who is he kidding? Inuyasha probably wouldn’t be going out anyways.

Around month four, things started to get better. Shippo started to ask to be held, or would reach for his hand. He still calls him ‘Yasha,’ something that hasn’t changed ever since he had trouble pronouncing his name when they met eighteen months ago. And that’s fine, really, it is. Shippo is his son, and that’s enough. The kid’s been through too much already and Inuyasha will be damned before he imposes anything else on him.

“Yasha?” Shippo’s voice breaks through his thoughts, and Inuyasha automatically pokes him in the cheek, like he always does.

“Yeah?”

“Does Mango have a dad?”

It takes him a long moment to realize that Mango is, in fact, the name of the rubber fox. Inuyasha stares dumbly for a moment, wondering how to answer that question, before he just rolls with it. “Sure. Mango has a dad.”

Shippo ponders this for a moment. Inuyasha should have seen the signs, because the happy babbling has turned back into that solemn consideration again. His Parent Approval Rating plummets back down to sixty. “Where is he?” the kid asks then, blinking those big green eyes at him.

Inuyasha is an idiot. A big idiot. “Mango’s dad?” he asks. He’s stalling for time and it’s like Shippo _knows_. The kid is too fucking smart for four years old. His look is mildly reproachful when he nods, once and firmly. It’s a Sesshomaru nod, which—Inuyasha honestly can’t think about that right now or he’ll burn this entire apartment down. “Well, he’s still coming!”

 _Is he though?_ Inuyasha thinks to himself with a slow creeping sensation of horror. _Is he really?_

Shippo seems pleased with this answer though, hands back to lightly splashing the rubber fox around. “Why is he late?”

“Presents,” Inuyasha blurts out, because he’s actually the Biggest Idiot, and that should be trademarked. “He’s bringing a present to Mango. It’s what you do when you go on a trip. You bring presents back for your favourite people.”

Shippo’s brow furrows but it’s not the unhappy one. It’s contemplative and it takes only a moment before it smooths away. Suddenly, he smiles at Inuyasha and there’s something about his overabundant red hair dripping around his face with those big sparking eyes that makes his heart stop. It’s terrible. It’s the worst. Feelings are fucking trash. “Good.”

“Good,” Inuyasha echoes, wondering when he’ll be able to breathe properly again.

After bath time, the two of them get ready for bed. They brush their teeth side-by-side with Shippo on a stool and Inuyasha crowded in close, making sure he doesn’t fall. They dry his hair and put on his favourite pajamas of the week. Shippo demands that Inuyasha reads the old, battered copy of _Llama Llama Red Pajama_. He’s three pages in when his kid decides that he, too, wants to wear red pajamas instead of his favourite ones, and it’s a messy battle but it’s a hill Inuyasha is willing to die on. With plenty of assurances that Shippo can wear his red pajamas tomorrow, they go back to the book. Shippo’s so keyed up that Inuyasha reads it three times in a row.

(“Are you sure you don’t want a different story?”

Shippo gives him that disappointed look. “No thank you.”

Well, at least he’s polite about it.)

It’s just as he’s finishing the last few pages that Shippo finally drifts off to sleep, his tiny hand curled around the fabric of Inuyasha’s sweater. He stares at that connection for a long, long time before he reminds himself that he’s a fucking sap and then gently separates him, putting Shippo’s stuffed fox in his grip instead.

Inuyasha’s exhausted, he truly is. The thing is that this is his only time kid-free, so Inuyasha sits down on the sofa and turns on the television, making sure to keep the volume low. He leaves it on sports highlights, a steady drone, and grabs his laptop, idly judging the athletes on TV while it boots up. The first thing he does is search for more rubber foxes because Mango has a fucking dad, apparently, and Inuyasha can’t fail Shippo six months in. He’d honestly rather die. Apparently, rubber foxes are not a common bathtub toy – who fucking knew – so he pays an ungodly amount to get the one that does exist, and then pays another ungodly amount to have it shipped overnight.

It’s only then, when the clutches of parental responsibility start to dwindle away, that Inuyasha allows himself a moment. It’s been three days since he saw Kagome and she hasn’t sent a single message other than the first one. He’s only stared at it forlornly like twelve times, which Inuyasha considers to be a success. What he _doesn’t_ consider to be a success is when Inuyasha pulls up Google and enters her name.

The top hits are usually the same, but there’s a couple new articles now regarding the TV show she’s starring in. It’s called _Purified_ , and it’s about two sisters with magical powers who are thrust into the secret world of monsters in a modern-day city. The first season had gotten decent reviews and decent viewership, but the second season has apparently really taken off. Inuyasha skims the articles, enough to understand that viewership has gone way up, likely thanks to the new, big bad character on the show, who is a potential love interest for Kagome’s character’s sister. Inuyasha frowns because that sounds stupid, but whatever.

Inuyasha checks the time. It’s only eight o’clock but fuck, he’s tired. He should go to bed himself. Tomorrow is Saturday, so if Shippo sleeps in he can get some extra shut-eye, or maybe he can get some cleaning done. Maybe he’ll invite Jinenji over. Shippo would probably be happy about that. Yeah, he’ll go to bed now and then in the morning, he’ll send a text to his only friend and maybe take Shippo to the park. It’s a solid plan. A _good_ plan, even.

Instead, Inuyasha spends the next long while in a black vortex of teaser videos for _Purified_ ’s episodes. Kagome is in all of them, obviously, and Inuyasha is not being weird at all.

* * *

“You look like crap.”

Inuyasha glares at his best friend – no, actually his _worst_ friend – before scowling and opening the door wider. “Really?” he snarls. “That’s what you have to say?”

Jinenji shrugs his big shoulders, looking unrepentant. “I brought lunch.”

“Well of course you did. I told you to,” Inuyasha says, letting him walk inside. The lure of delicious takeout is calling. “Shippo! Come say hi to Jinenji.”

The redhead peers from around the corner where the living room is, a toothy grin already on his face. Seriously, does he give _everyone_ that look _except_ him? Inuyasha might as well give him a knife at this point to just ram in his ribs, thank you very much. “Hi!” Shippo shouts, bounding over to wrap his arms around Jinenji’s legs.

His best friend smiles down at him, continuing to move around the kitchen like he doesn’t have a child sitting on his foot. Jinenji is six-foot-six and a body builder, so he’s literally a moving mountain. Inuyasha has never felt small in his life except for when he’s standing next to his friend. “Hi little one,” Jinenji greets, patting the top of his head after he puts the food on the counter. “How are you?”

“Good,” Shippo tells him, detaching from his leg only to bounce up and down beside him. “I’m building a castle.”

“Can I come see?”

“No!” Shippo shouts, though he’s still smiling. “Not until I’m done!”

Inuyasha scowls and waves his hands at him. “How come Jinenji can’t see it until it’s all perfect, but you show me every five seconds?”

“’Cause it’s you,” Shippo answers, the _duh_ clearly implied. Do four year old children even know that word?

Inuyasha is wondering whether this admission is a compliment or an insult. He almost asks, but Shippo disappears from the kitchen, lightning quick. Jinenji, the fucker, laughs at him. It’s a quiet laugh, the exact opposite of what you would expect from a man his size. Jinenji is a contradiction everywhere though. He’s the most noticeable man around, but he’s shy as all hell. The only reason they’re even friends is because Jinenji used to work admin at Inuyasha’s job until he was able to save enough money to open up his own fitness centre. The two of them used to bond over complaining about their boss – well, Inuyasha complained. Jinenji usually just shrugged and nodded and looked mildly terrified that he was even being talked to. Inuyasha, oblivious in his tirade, had just kept doing it until finally the man folded.

“He looks happy,” Jinenji says suddenly, breaking through his thoughts. “Happier than last time.”

Inuyasha winces at the memory. “Well, last time was a bad day for both of us.” Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. He represses it to save his sanity and soul both. After a few seconds, he scowls and glares at the space Shippo once was. The next words out of his mouth feel awful, but he’s a parent so what the fuck. “Does he really look happy?”

Jinenji pats him on the shoulder. “I wouldn’t lie.”

“Yeah, I know _that_ ,” Inuyasha grumbles, even if it doesn’t make any sense. He decides to ignore his feelings and gets the plates and cutlery out for food. Off to the side, his cell phone rings with an incoming text message, likely Sesshomaru confirming dinner for their usual Tuesday meet-up. Inuyasha goes to the fridge and grabs two beers, holding them up for Jinenji to see. “You in?”

His friend gives him a familiar look. “My body is a temple.”

“Fuck off,” Inuyasha replies, scowling. He opens both bottles anyways. Jinenji doesn’t complain. “I was thinking after this we could go to the park, or whatever. Shippo can run around like crazy and then maybe he’ll settle for a movie later.” Inuyasha grabs his phone to answer Sesshomaru when he realizes that it’s not, in fact, from his half-brother at all.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_Hi! It’s Kagome. I’m sorry it’s so last second but my schedule cleared. Are you free Monday?_

_It would be good to see you._

_And Shippo, of course. If he wants?_

Inuyasha reads the messages a good five times, enough that Jinenji saunters over to him to read the texts over his shoulder. He’s silent for a minute, which Inuyasha appreciates. His mind is too busy wondering what the fuck to respond back with. Of course Monday is free. Well, after work. But Kagome probably assumes that. Right? Just because she’s an actor, or whatever, doesn’t mean she forgets about basic workweeks, right?

Does he need to call in sick? No, that’s stupid.

…Right?

“Who’s that?” Jinenji asks at last.

“Uh, just an old friend.” Inuyasha makes up his mind and sends her a message back. He tries to be as casual as he can, but in reading it a billion times before sending, he questions whether it sounds mean. Or disinterested? God, does he sound like Sesshomaru? That would be a fucking horror.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_Hey, sure. Monday works. What time?_

Jinenji hums behind him and Inuyasha doesn’t consider that dangerous at all. It’s his first mistake. His second is not realizing that his friend is frowning, grabbing his own phone to search something. And then shit hits the fan. “Wait, _that_ friend?” Jinenji asks. If Inuyasha didn’t know better, it sounded like he was scandalized. “ _That_ Kagome? Kagome Higurashi? The one you pined after for a billion years even though you never actually dated?”

Inuyasha really, really regrets getting sloppy drunk with him that one time and baring his soul to him. In his defence, it had been two weeks after he’d officially gotten the adoption papers finalized and he was the closest thing to an emotional mess that he’d ever been. Inuyasha was under the impression that they would never talk about that night, but apparently friendship means absolutely fucking nothing these days. “No,” he says, sullenly glaring at the takeout for lack of a better option. He hates friendship. What a dumb concept. He adds, rather ruefully, “I didn’t pine.”

Jinenji gives him a look but doesn’t further comment.

Maybe friendship means something after all.

They eat and Inuyasha’s food is lukewarm at best after making sure Shippo’s food is _in_ him rather than _on_ him. He hasn’t done laundry in what feels like a billion years so the number of available shirts is getting low.

Jinenji helps store the leftovers while Inuyasha cleans up. His phone had gone off a couple times but he’s diligently not answering it right away. He knows – _he knows_ – that this just proves the whole ‘stubbornness’ thing he has going on, but he didn’t _pine_ after Kagome. That would be dumb. Sure, he was a little sad. Whatever. They had been good friends in high school, meeting in grade nine because their lockers were right beside each other’s. It was one of those fast things, like a lightning strike. Kagome had been in his life, there and as sure as anything he knew. More stable than his guardian half-brother who didn’t give a shit about him. More stable than, well, _anyone_ he knew at that age. Somehow, even with minimal classes together, they started to hang out all the time and by grade ten, they were as close as any best friends could be.

But then things happened. Kagome left.

And even with cell phones it was just never…right. Or maybe that was just Inuyasha’s issue. Then again, she never reached out either.

“You’re getting depressing,” Jinenji says softly, big blue eyes looking all sad at him. “If you’re trying to convince me it’s not _that_ Kagome, then you’re doing a terrible job.”

Inuyasha sighs. “It’s not like that.” At another sad look, he rolls his eyes. “It’s not like that _now_. It was like thirteen years ago.”

“I never said you still liked her,” his friend reminds him, shrugging those hulking shoulders.

Inuyasha scowls at being caught out and grabs his phone. Kagome has, in fact, left a couple of messages and reading them makes his insides twist in that weird way that means feelings, only he refuses to acknowledge them. That would be a mature thing to do and honestly, other than when it comes to Shippo, maturity is a trash way to live.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_Whenever works. How late do you work until? We can do dinner. Would you mind coming to my place? Let me know if that’s weird but I rather not go out, if I can help it._

_We could though, if that’s easier._

_There’s a play area and jungle gym at my building that I think would be fine for Shippo?_

_I mean, if he wants. And if he can come._

It sounds nervous. It sounds like a feeling that Inuyasha knows all too well but again, is stubbornly refusing to acknowledge. He imagines Kagome then, staring at her phone with her lips red from biting them. It’s a bad habit her mom always chastised her for but Inuyasha had enjoyed the tell. Inuyasha had never been that great at reading people but Kagome’s heart had always been on her sleeve.

“She wants to meet at her place,” he says to Jinenji after a bit. Shippo is babbling away happily in the living room watching television. He hears the distinct sound of a talking puppy’s warbling voice singing about vegetables.

His best friend coughs and then chuckles. “No way.”

“What?” Inuyasha frowns at him and then realizes the implications. “No, fu— _No._ Not like that. She invited Shippo, too. It’s because of the whole celebrity thing.”

Jinenji is still smiling at him broadly but he nods, on the same page. “Makes sense.”

Inuyasha scowls anyways.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_Your place is fine._

_Is 4:30 okay?_

“You know,” Jinenji starts slowly, “you never did tell me how you two started talking again. Did you…?”

Inuyasha rolls his eyes. Jinenji is too pure-hearted to ask if he slid into her DMs, but the implication is there. “We met getting coffee, actually. Shippo basically attached himself to her when I wasn’t looking.”

“Ah, so it’s Shippo’s fault then.”

“He’s four. Nothing’s his fault.” Jinenji smiles at him and Inuyasha sighs. “But technically, yes.”

“What a good dad,” his friend says anyways, and somehow in the past few minutes of conversation they are side by side. His friend nudges him playfully on the shoulder, gently, but Inuyasha still staggers a little. Guy’s a fucking _mountain_.

Inuyasha rubs at his arm and Jinenji just shakes his head, patting him. It’s a little degrading but he knows Jinenji, knows the guy isn’t fond of close-contact if he can help it. Something is trying to be communicated and if Inuyasha was less of a shit, maybe he’d get it.

Turns out, the message isn’t that hard.

Jinenji takes hold of him from the pat and stares at him. Those blue eyes are very vast and wise and whatever other things people say. “You’re a good dad.”

His Parent Approval Rating is currently at sixty-five. It jumps, just the slightest bit, to a sixty-seven.

Ugh. _Friendship_.

* * *

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_What does Shippo like to eat?_

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_He’s picky so I can just bring food for him._

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_No! It’s no problem._

_Is there something he likes best?_

There are those weird stomach somersaults again, doing things to his insides. Honestly, this is the worst. If this wasn’t Kagome, Inuyasha would absolutely be ignoring his phone right now because he doesn’t need this. He doesn’t need these—these—

 _Feelings_.

He takes a look at Shippo, who’s stabbing happily at a puzzle that is – at this point – mostly broken. It’s all the rough handling. He should probably teach the kid to do that a little less.

He should also probably feed him things other than chicken nuggets. Inuyasha makes a face and tries to remember when the last time he had it was. Five days ago? That’s… Probably fine.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_Chicken nuggets._

He should have a vegetable too. That’s what responsible parents do.

_I can bring them and some carrots for him._

Inuyasha’s even pretty sure he already has everything he needs. Strangely, this makes him proud. Basic adult skills should not make him this proud when he’s caring for a child. That has to be the lowest possible bar. He grabs his laptop and does the unthinkable: he starts to look up recipes.

Again, he can’t cook for shit. Slowly but surely though, over the last several months, Inuyasha has been trying. Not all of them have been success stories but he’s doing his best, damn it.

Do you get points for trying as a parent? Sesshomaru would probably say no.

Sesshomaru also can hire a fucking chef to come and prepare his meals, so, like. Opinion not valid.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_Seriously, I’ve got it!_

_Just bring yourselves._

Inuyasha doesn’t give a small smirk at that. He doesn’t. He’s a grown man with a child. Basic kindness isn’t a thing that makes him soft. It’s _not_.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_Okay, fine. You win, as always._

There looks to be a few recipes that Inuyasha hasn’t tried yet, that are probably attemptable. He squints at the ingredients and grabs his phone to make a list of things he definitely doesn’t have. The apartment is quiet without the buzzing of his phone, only the hum of the television on in the background acting as any kind of sound.

This should have been his first warning.

It’s not.

It’s not until he hears the dragging of Shippo’s tiny stool that Inuyasha sits up, frowning. The redhead is nowhere to be seen so he moves off the couch. There, standing on his stool and staring out the apartment’s window, is Shippo. His hands and face are against the glass. It’s only then that Inuyasha realizes that it’s pouring outside. The clouds are a dismal grey and in the distance he can see lightning. Shippo’s fine with thunder, or at least he was the last few times they had experienced a storm together. Still, something is flagging in his hindbrain, something that seems off.

“Shippo?” Inuyasha asks. “What are you doing, bud?”

Three seconds pass. Two more. Inuyasha steps closer and realizes those tiny shoulders are shaking, moving up and down in abortive motions that can only mean one thing: crying.

_Fuck._

“Hey, hey,” Inuyasha calls out, overly loud. He doesn’t mean to but it’s reflexive. Shippo rarely cries unless he’s having a meltdown about going to pre-school. Even then, it’s more screaming and red-faced glowering than crying. This is horrifically different and Inuyasha is completely at a loss. “Shippo,” he tries again, softer, once he manages to reach him. He tries to pick him up but Shippo neatly dodges, sliding off the stool in an ungraceful heap.

“Shippo.” Inuyasha has no other words. What else can he say? “Shippo, what’s the matter?”

The kid goes back to his puzzle, tear-tracks down his face, and Inuyasha is completely stumped. What did he do?

He can’t just— He can’t just leave him like this. Inuyasha hesitates for only a second before he takes a breath and wishes for his mother. It’s a foreign thought, one he hasn’t had in years. But it’s with her in mind that he goes over, sitting down across from Shippo. There’s less than a foot of space between them but Inuyasha feels like it’s bigger, like it’s a divide that he’s creating all on his own and it’s his own fault he can’t fix it.

“Bud,” Inuyasha murmurs, keeping his hands firmly to himself. He doesn’t want Shippo to run off again. “What’s wrong?”

Shippo sniffles, a thick, gross sound that only makes his body wrack harder. Inuyasha realizes then that his kid cries _silently_ , and his heart physically hurts in his chest. The implications of that alone are just—Mind numbing, among other things it does to him. It’s an old feeling that he swallows down. “It’s raining,” Shippo says brokenly, little hiccups ruining what should be a simple statement.

Inuyasha frowns. “Why is the rain bad?”

“The park,” Shippo answers, like it all makes sense. It doesn’t. It absolutely doesn’t. They go to the park a lot but not _every day_. It’s not even the kid’s favourite thing to do. They were just there yesterday with Jinenji. Inuyasha tries to remember if he promised to take Shippo earlier, but if he did, he doesn’t remember it.

The redhead ducks his head and his tiny body jumps with a sob. His Parent Approval Rating hits an all-time low of twenty percent.

“We can go to the park tomorrow,” Inuyasha promises, trying to sound soothing. He’s not sure if it works. Shippo doesn’t give him any indication that it is. “It’ll still be there.”

“But _Satsuki_ won’t!” he wails back. “Satsuki is going now!”

Satsuki. Satsuki. Who the fuck is— _Oh_. The little girl he played with yesterday. Inuyasha looks outside at the pouring rain and tries again. “Satsuki won’t be going either,” he says, “because of all the rain. But maybe—”

In an absolute fit, Shippo’s tiny fists hit his puzzle. The pieces are barely more than thick cardboard but a couple of the already wrecked cut-outs bend. He whines, little tiny puffs of sadness escaping with each badly taken breath as he sobs. Inuyasha doesn’t stop himself from reaching out then, pulling Shippo closer until he’s sitting in his lap. The kid doesn’t fight him but he doesn’t help either, his dragged feet damaging what is now an unsalvageable floor puzzle.

“Shippo, hey, it’s okay. We’ll find Satsuki when it’s not raining, okay? I promise.” A stupid promise, really, but Inuyasha does a lot of stupid things for this kid. Like ordering expensive rubber foxes and foods Inuyasha has never heard of before so he can (badly) cook for them.

The kid leans back, snot and tears running down his face, and Inuyasha thinks he should feel disgusted but all he feels is horror. He can’t fix this. He still hasn’t fixed this. A better parent would have _fixed this_ by now. “She’s gone,” Shippo gets out, choked and miserable. “Gone. They go. They’re gone.”

“Not gone,” Inuyasha tries. He hears the desperation in his voice, the trickle of fear that this will be the time he completely fails. “I promise, Shippo. Satsuki isn’t gone. We’ll find her.”

“You go too,” Shippo wails and those are his tiny hands gripping at his sweater like he’s clinging for dear life, like if he isn’t white-knuckled then Inuyasha is going to run. As if Inuyasha could go anywhere with his kid miserable like this, like it isn’t breaking his heart in half. “I don’t wanna be alone.”

Oh fuck. Oh fuck, fuck, _fuck._

Inuyasha is definitely failing as a parent. He clutches Shippo to his chest, a hand curling around the kid’s head to tuck it into his neck. He twists a little, a rocking motion that’s more than a little awkward as his other hand soothes up and down Shippo’s back. “I will not leave you,” he says firmly. There’s nothing soft about the declaration. “I will never leave you. You won’t be alone. I promise.”

“Alone,” Shippo hiccups out and Inuyasha holds him that tiniest bit tighter.

“No, not alone. Not anymore.” Does Shippo even get it? He’s four years old but he’s smart. He’s also traumatized, and Inuyasha hadn’t realized the extent of it, not until this moment. Shippo had always been so good, so aloof and disinterested. Never mean though, or excessively angry. He had thought – stupidly, maybe even selfishly – that that meant the kid was mostly okay. Inuyasha had known it would take time to get Shippo to open up; he had gone to various counsellors in the months leading to his adoption. It had helped with the process but maybe Inuyasha should never have stopped. Maybe the two of them should have been going together, all this time.

His Parent Approval Rating dips to five percent and Inuyasha closes his eyes.

The two of them stay on the floor for a while, Inuyasha holding Shippo close until the wracking sobs fade. He’s so quiet, all the time, but Inuyasha knows now. He knows better and he’ll do better. He’ll be better. He’ll feel all the damn feelings if it fucking helps this kid, who has had a shit life and deserves better. Better than he had, at least. Inuyasha can do that.

He leans to the side to brush back Shippo’s bangs. The side of his face that he can see is tear-streaked and gross, but there’s no more crying. His eyes are heavy-lidded and he doesn’t normally go for a nap, but this can be an exception. Today deserves an exception.

“Come on,” Inuyasha murmurs softly, using muscles he didn’t realize he had to somehow get them up and off the ground without loosening his hold on Shippo. “Nap time, yeah? We’ll feel better then.”

Shippo whimpers and clutches tighter. Inuyasha is suddenly exceptionally angry: at himself, at Shippo’s past, and maybe even the world for allowing this. It’s not about him though, not right now, so he swallows it down and heads towards the kid’s bedroom. Toys are littered all over the floor and Inuyasha steps on maybe two of them before they get to the bed. Shippo is clingy and Inuyasha doesn’t want to hurt him anymore so he lays them both down on their sides, his arms wrapped around the small child. He doesn’t let go, not even when Shippo’s breaths even out into an uneasy sleep.

Inuyasha is exhausted. He thinks to himself, yet again, that this was the worst decision he ever made. Not for himself, no. But for Shippo. Maybe he should have tried something else. Maybe he should have just…kept watch. Helped try to find someone else who could care for him, someone who could care far better and far more effectively than him. Inuyasha’s Parent Approval Rating is hovering at two percent and he’s terrified. Blindingly, exceedingly terrified.

He doesn’t mean to fall asleep.

When he wakes, the room is even darker than it already was. It takes Inuyasha a few seconds to remember he’s in Shippo’s room, and then another second to realize that the kid is no longer clinging to him. He’s curled up, head on his pillow properly as he stares big, green eyes at Inuyasha. His face is solemn and it hurts to look at.

“Hey,” Inuyasha rasps out, wincing at the sound. He tilts to sit up a bit, his legs aching at being cramped on the smaller bed, but a tiny hand reaches out to his face. He pauses, looking to Shippo for any kind of expression, any kind of sign of what he wants. If it isn’t Inuyasha, he’ll figure it out. He will. Shippo deserves that, at least.

“You’re here.” He says the words seriously, a gravity that rivals the Earth’s. His hand stays on his chin, warm and sticky. “And I’m here.”

Inuyasha lies back down and breathes. “We are.” Shippo stares at him with dry eyes and a face that desperately needs to be wiped. “I won’t leave,” he promises then, matching the kid’s tone. “Not forever. I will always come back.”

“Always?” Shippo doesn’t look like he believes him. That’s fair, he thinks. The kid hasn’t been given the option to trust otherwise.

Inuyasha nods. “Always.”

The hand on his chin holds tighter for a moment before pulling away, tucking into his own chest. Shippo watches him through half-lidded eyes and pursed lips, an evaluation if Inuyasha ever did see one. The silence goes on so long that he thinks maybe Shippo forgot, or maybe it just isn’t worth answering. He wonders what time it is because the darkness isn’t any sort of indication with the storm, and what he can make for dinner that’s quick and easy and not chicken nuggets.

“Okay.”

Inuyasha blinks and comes back to the moment. “Okay?”

Shippo nods and then goes to poke his cheek, just like Inuyasha regularly does to him. “Okay.”

His Parent Approval Rating only goes up to about fifteen percent, but his heart literally soars.


	2. Chapter 2

“Shippo!” Inuyasha calls, packing up his bag with the frenzied hurry of the extremely late. “Are you ready?”

The redhead comes running, the sliding of his backpack scraping against the entryway tiles. He immediately drops down to put on his shoes, nearly flopping over while he does so and putting the Velcro on correctly. Inuyasha remembers suddenly, like the flick of a switch, when Shippo first came to live with him and how putting on shoes had been a struggle for him to do himself.

Fuck, six months together and he’s already grown so much. Shit, no, this is not the time.

He quickly opens Shippo’s backpack to make sure the toys they packed the previous night are still there, and then gives him his jacket. Inuyasha’s own to-go bag is near overflowing, because unlike going to Sesshomaru’s house, there is no chance any emergency items he may need will be at Kagome’s. It includes some more toys and distractions, wipes, a mini-emergency kit with Shippo’s favourite band-aids (little foxes, of-fucking-course), and some snacks in case he gets hungry before or after dinner. There’s also a change of clothes because he has no idea what the play structure near Kagome’s place is like and if there’s mud, Shippo will absolutely roll in it.

“Yasha,” the kid starts, breaking Inuyasha from his thoughts. He’s done up his jacket and is all ready to go, which is about a thousand times better than where Inuyasha is at right now. “Are we seeing Kagome?”

“Later,” Inuyasha agrees, finally giving up on being fully prepared. He puts on his shoes and pats down his pockets. “After you have school and I have work.”

“Why do I have to go?” Shippo asks. It’s not a whine though and Inuyasha is astonishingly grateful.

“Because you learn in school and learning is good.”

“Why is learning good?”

“So you know how to do things.” Inuyasha decides they’re ready and ushers Shippo out the door. He already has his tiny yellow backpack on, so at least that’s one tragedy he’s avoiding today. He locks up and finds that Shippo has already pressed the elevator button for them. Like clockwork, he slowly inches over and then tugs on Inuyasha’s pants.

“One day, you’ll be too big for this,” he grouses, pressing his face into Shippo’s temple. “Then what will you do?”

Shippo squirms but his little arms are wrapped securely around his neck. “How big will I get?”

Inuyasha hums. “I don’t know. What do you think?”

Green eyes narrow thoughtfully for a moment before he grins, big and toothy, and smacks Inuyasha on the side of the face. “As big as you!”

“Me?” he scoffs. “No, no, you can’t! You have to be little forever.”

“No!” Shippo squeals, just as the elevator doors open. “No, Yasha!”

“Yes,” he insists. “Forever.” He only means it like eighty percent.

It’s not until they’re stepping into the pre-school a couple blocks over that Inuyasha realizes Shippo is still giggling at him. He’s long since been put down to walk – Inuyasha is strong and Shippo is small and clingy about it, but there’s only so much carrying that can be done – but his tiny hand is in Inuyasha’s and tugging.

The pre-school teacher, Nazuna, eyes them both immediately with a smile on her face. “Having a good morning?”

“We’re seeing Kagome!” Shippo cries out.

Nazuna nods sagely. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”

Inuyasha feels his kid pull away but he keeps a hold, trying to monopolize Shippo’s attention before it’s gone completely. He crouches down so that they’re about the same height. “I’ll pick you up after school, okay?” Last night’s words still ring through his head like mocking horrors. Shippo seemed fine Sunday evening, but Inuyasha had waited until this morning to make the call on whether they’d be going to Kagome’s still. If Shippo had still been upset, Inuyasha would’ve called a sick day and they would have just stayed home.

“Okay,” the redhead responds. He seems happier and Inuyasha’s stomach swoops like it always does when feelings are involved.

Before he can think too much about it, Inuyasha wraps him in a hug and kisses his temple, making sure to keep it quick. He knows he’s been cautious, before, about making Shippo uncomfortable but maybe he’s been _too cautious_. Inuyasha promised himself he’d do better, and this is it. He’s going to. Come hell or high water, he’s going to.

Shippo barely squirms and when he’s released, he makes a face but doesn’t step away. In fact, his hand goes and pokes Inuyasha’s cheek before he smiles – all toothy and bright again – and then he runs through the gate to go and put his jacket and shoes away.

Nazuna doesn’t comment, which is probably better for everyone involved. Inuyasha is honestly wondering if there’s somewhere he can go to have a minor panic attack. A good panic attack though, one that possibly includes crying and a few well-placed curses. God, feelings are the _worst_.

_Artwork by[Mamabearcat](https://mamabearcatfanart.tumblr.com/)_

In the end, he just goes to work.

Work is, predictably, boring as fuck. There’s not much to it. Inuyasha does a lot of things well within the confines of his office. Whenever someone tries to approach, he scowls harder and glares at the screen of his desktop more. It usually works. Now that Jinenji has left, no one really attempts to befriend him and Inuyasha prefers it.

“You heard about the new _Ninja_ moving coming out, right? We still have months to go but I’m already dying,” one of his co-workers, Toran, whines. “And I heard Byakuya is going to be in this one, too!”

“He’s always the villain,” Karan sighs. “But he’s so hot.”

Pretty soon, Inuyasha knows they’ll all make plans to go and see it once the movie is out, maybe some drinks later to round out the night. He can’t honestly imagine telling one of them that he can’t go out for drinks because he has a son, thank you very much.

One of them would probably laugh and think he’s joking. Inuyasha would have to punch him and that would be bad.

When the day ends, he packs up and makes sure to grab his backpack. He checks his phone – no new messages, nothing missed – and heads out. A couple people wave to him in passing. Inuyasha grunts back. It’s a perfectly acceptable way to communicate.

It’s a quick, easy walk. The air is brisk as autumn officially sets into the city. There are few trees on the busy streets and even fewer fallen leaves. He thinks, unbidden, that he should take Shippo somewhere they can make a leaf pile. It’s not ever something he had done as a child but Inuyasha believes he should have, that those opportunities were lost the moment he lost his mother.

The pre-school door jingles when he enters, the familiar colourful walls greeting him just as Nazuna pokes her head around. “Shippo’s just getting ready.”

“Thanks,” Inuyasha replies, feeling strangely eager. He readjusts his backpack for the fifth time and stops himself from checking his phone.

Everything is fine. It’s not a big deal. He’s just going to see an old friend with his son. It’s fine. It’s _all fine_.

Shippo comes into the entryway, backpack trailing and jacket undone. Inuyasha had tied his red hair back earlier but it’s come loose, the ungainly red strands sticking out everywhere. He looks okay though, no glassiness in his eyes or tense lips. “Hi Yasha,” Shippo greets, coming over to his leg. He barely has to tug before Inuyasha squats down to his level. “Are we going to Kagome’s now?”

“Yes,” Inuyasha replies, trying not to feel weird about it.

Nazuna laughs from somewhere in front of him. “He’s been talking about her all day.”

He frowns at that because while he did talk to Shippo to make sure he still wanted to go, and that he’d be comfortable at someone else’s place, it wasn’t like _he_ went on about Kagome. Did she really make that much of an impression?

Shippo _had_ smiled at her big and toothy that morning. Twice.

Fuck.

“We just kept imagining him playing with Kagome Higurashi rather than some other little girl with the same name,” Nazuna goes on, making Inuyasha’s heart literally stop for a good five seconds before she continues, oblivious. “It’s not that common of a name so we had a good laugh.”

Inuyasha fakes a smirk and focuses his attention on Shippo. There’s no way that they’d believe the truth, which is probably for the best. It’s what Kagome would likely prefer, anyways. Especially since she didn’t want to leave her apartment.

“He’s so adorable though,” Nazuna goes on. “We even showed him a picture of the actress and he got all excited.”

Dear god, of course. “Who is she?” he tries, making sure to open Shippo’s backpack. Everything looks to still be there. Hopefully. Inuyasha won’t really know until tomorrow or maybe the weekend, when Shippo gets upset because his action figure is no longer in his possession.

“Kagome Higurashi?” Nazuna repeats. “She’s from that TV show, _Purified_. Haven’t you seen it? It’s so good!”

Inuyasha desperately wants to ask, _do I look like I’ve watched that show?_ The truth is though that he has, in fact, watched bits and pieces of it. During weak moments. Desperate moments.

God, Inuyasha is the worst.

“No, not much of a TV person,” he replies. He takes Shippo’s hand and they say their goodbyes, Nazuna wishing them well on the playdate.

Shippo talks at him animatedly for most of the walk, going on about what he learned that day, and how Soten tried to steal his crayon again. Inuyasha asks some questions but his kid is far more interested in regaling him with the pride of his stacked block building, rather than answer. That’s fine. Inuyasha just wants him to be happy and today he seems…very happy.

He knows it won’t last. He knows that the super awful Sunday afternoon was not a one-off. Even with Shippo’s solemn acceptance that Inuyasha wouldn’t leave him, it doesn’t mean the kid believes it. Hell, it doesn’t mean he’ll even _remember it_ after a couple days.

His cell phone goes off, distracting him momentarily. Even Shippo looks excited by this, for reasons beyond him. Maybe he simply knows that it’s Kagome texting. Inuyasha takes a look at his son, at the unruly orange mop of hair, and wonders exactly how the kid got attached so quickly.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_When you arrive, enter code 9617 and then I’ll meet you in the lobby!_

It’s basic apartment building shit, so Inuyasha isn’t worried. Except, when they finally make it to her apartment it is very, very different. For one, it doesn’t even look like an apartment building. It looks more like some sleek office, only six stories high. Unlike his own apartment, the call box to enter the code isn’t dirty or sticky (and his place is considered _pretty nice_ , so—) and after the click that comes with Kagome’s acceptance there’s a door man.

An actual door man. Inuyasha blinks, even though he’s aware that concierge service at high-end apartment buildings are clearly a thing. This man, however, is not a gentle-looking soul. He’s huge, almost as big as Jinenji, and his suit does nothing to hide the bulk. He smiles at Inuyasha though.

“She’ll be right down,” the man instructs.

Inuyasha nods, even as Shippo tugs his hand away so he can promptly hide behind his legs. Shippo isn’t shy, but he’s not overly social either. Another one of those things that people closest to Inuyasha joke about, how his adopted son acts so much like him. This isn’t tragic, not like the resting unhappy face, but it is a worry that screams in the back of Inuyasha’s mind when he lets it.

Mostly when they’re at the park.

It’s part of the reason Shippo’s in pre-school to begin with. Socializing. Doing things that Inuyasha is shit at and therefore, cannot teach by example.

“You’re fine,” Inuyasha comments lightly when he feels tiny fists gripping at his pants.

Shippo makes a noise that isn’t quite an affirmative. He sticks close and it’s only until there’s the ding of an elevator that the kid pulls away. Kagome is there, smiling happily at them. Inuyasha takes in a breath, stares at those dark eyes he has absolutely _not_ missed. She’s exactly the same as he remembers. Is it weird that this sensation is hitting him now, now that he can see her fully? Maybe it is, but maybe it’s not. Inuyasha has only thought of Kagome in abstract ways over the last thirteen years. Wistful thoughts of what could be happening, and what ifs about the past. He doesn’t let himself dwell, not since the end of high school when he realized there was no going back.

But this? Right now?

It feels bigger than maybe just a visit, which sounds completely stupid. The only person that’s feeling this way is Inuyasha, and that’s likely because while he’s not pining ( _thanks_ Jinenji) he’s maybe… Curious. Interested.

Wondering.

“Hi! I’m so glad you could make it!” She sounds genuinely elated that they’re there. Shippo leaves the protection of Inuyasha’s legs to bound over to her, grabbing at something in his jacket pocket. A second later, he pulls out a crumbled piece of red construction paper and hands it over.

Inuyasha frowns. Since when did Shippo have anything to give her?

“Oh, is this for me?” Kagome asks, immediately crouching down.

Shippo steps into her space and nods, pointing at something. “That’s us!”

Oh god, _no._ What has his child _done_?

Inuyasha goes over, eyeing Shippo because _what the fuck_. This kind of betrayal is possibly worse than the smiling toothily thing. He can forgive that. Kagome is great at getting people to smile, mostly because her own smile is massive and bright and the kind of thing you want to return.

(Not that Inuyasha dreams of that sort of thing, ever.)

In Kagome’s hand is a drawing. It’s covered in black crayon and shaded in with colours that are barely visible from the red background. It’s obvious though who is in it: himself, Shippo and Kagome. The only reason he can tell the difference between himself and Kagome (considering the long black hair is similar on both their parts) is the fact that he has a frowny face and Kagome’s is smiling.

Obviously.

“Hey!” Inuyasha complains. “I don’t always frown.”

Shippo looks up at him with big earnest eyes and shrugs. Inuyasha has no idea what to do with that.

“I love it,” Kagome declares easily, standing up. “I wasn’t expecting a gift. Thank you Shippo!”

“You’re welcome, Kagome!” Shippo stares a beat too long at her, probably making sure no one corrects how he pronounced her name, and then beams.

Ugh. His son is a traitor.

“Let’s go to my place, shall we?” Kagome asks.

Shippo nods, wiggling intensified at her exuberance, but he immediately goes to grab Inuyasha’s hand to drag him along to the elevator. It’s only once they’re inside and Shippo is entranced by the mirrored walls within, that Inuyasha’s realizes he hasn’t actually said a word to her. Shippo has outdone him by a mile already.

“It’s good to see you.” The words are blurted out, but it’s not him that’s saying them. It’s Kagome, who’s leaning against the side and smiling so softly it actually aches a little. Inuyasha is a sap, and doomed, and everything else that’s wrong with him perpetually until the end of time.

He tries for a smirk and knows it comes out more of a grin. “It’s good to see you,” he answers. It’s not nearly as close to the things he really wants to say, but he hasn’t changed all that much over the past thirteen years. She’ll get it. “I can’t believe you still live around here.”

“It was a surprise to me too,” Kagome says, laughing. “I had actually moved away so I could do more auditions but when I got this role… Kind of felt perfect.” She shrugs then, like the whole thing is easy. “I didn’t expect you to stay here.”

“Well, things change,” Inuyasha replies. Unable to stop himself, he looks down at Shippo. He isn’t the reason Inuyasha never left, but he is the reason now why Inuyasha never would. When he returns his gaze back to Kagome, there’s something there he can’t quite fully read. There’s that same fondness but it’s etched in something different, something new. He shrugs self-consciously, wondering what it all means. “Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Kagome repeats. There’s nothing mean in it; a simple tease.

The elevator doors open and Shippo bursts through first. He runs down the hallway and then pauses when he realizes that there are two sides of the hallway, each with their own door. He frowns. “Where’s your home?”

“This way,” Kagome says, nodding with her head towards the opposite direction. “Want to see?”

“Yes,” Shippo declares, bouncing again. If nothing else, the kid will be exhausted tonight for bed. He toddles after Kagome, crowding far too close as she enters the electronic code to let them inside. It seems, though, for all of Shippo’s excitement, the door being opened has him suddenly unsure. Kagome steps inside, her smile just as big as before as she gestures for him to come in. With a small hand, Shippo reaches up to grabs hers and lets himself be led inside.

Inuyasha is fine. He is. He’s not…having any thoughts at all, really.

The apartment is huge, but it isn’t anything overwhelming. It’s much cleaner than theirs, and also slightly more modern-looking. The walls aren’t scratched, for one thing. There aren’t any odd-coloured patches where Shippo had taken his crayons or markers to the walls, only for Inuyasha clean them off (after some crying, followed by bribing, and then a helpful amount of cookies). It’s a stark difference, but even if Inuyasha hadn’t adopted Shippo, he thinks the place is a little too clean.

Kagome must see his judging look because she shrugs. “I’m not here all that much.”

“I’ll say,” Inuyasha murmurs. This apartment is stunning in comparison with his own, and his apartment is no slouch. “Is it close to where you shoot?”

“Half-hour,” she says, before Shippo drags her into the washroom and starts asking why she doesn’t have a bathtub. In fact, Shippo has a lot of questions about a lot of things in her place:

“Why don’t you have a teddy bear? I have _mine_.”

“Why is everything white? Do you like blue? My favourite colour is blue. Yasha’s is red.”

“Why do you have an office?”

“What’s that?”

“Do you like horses? We have a picture of dogs.”

“Who do you think is a better superhero?”

“When’s dinner?”

The last one, at least, is simple. “Okay,” Inuyasha says, picking Shippo up underneath his arms and swinging him around. “I think Kagome has answered more than enough of your questions. How about we get ready for dinner, huh?”

“But I have more questions,” Shippo states, nose scrunching in unhappiness at the thought.

“You can ask,” Kagome assures him, heading back towards the kitchen. To him, she says, “I mostly started dinner already because I figured you eat earlier. I just have to finish it up.”

“That’s fine,” Inuyasha answers, putting his kid back down. Shippo instantly heads towards the fridge, a massive stainless steel one that looks far too pristine to be in a kitchen. He clearly notices this too, probably compared to the disaster that is theirs what with all the handprints and flour-caked dust from previous (poor) attempts at baking.

Shippo frowns. “Where are the pictures?”

“What?” Kagome asks, a little distracted. She’s throwing a tray of nuggets back in the oven.

“Not everyone has pictures on their fridge, Shippo,” Inuyasha says instead, smirking at Kagome’s face when she finally understands. “Kagome probably doesn’t have any good drawings to put up.”

“I have this one!” Kagome grabs the drawing Shippo had given her earlier and hands it over to him. “Will this work?”

Shippo hums. “Yeah, but you need more.”

Inuyasha opens his mouth to remind him about things like politeness, but Kagome just laughs. “I guess you’ll have to make me some.”

This gets Shippo all excited, his green eyes going wide as he instantly takes off his little yellow backpack and digs inside it for his crayons and colouring book. Before disaster can strike – which is at any moment that Shippo feels particularly creative – Inuyasha gets him set up on the nearby table. He’s at an okay height with the chair but Shippo is instantly tucking his legs underneath him to get up more, to really invest himself in his colouring.

Inuyasha sighs. He’ll just have to keep an eye out.

He can feel it when Kagome walks right up to him, standing just a foot away. It feels too close after so long, but Inuyasha doesn’t want to say anything to make her step back. It’s only when her hand touches his arm, gentle and familiar, that he looks at her. “Is he okay?” she asks, sounding worried.

“Yeah, he’s fine. Just excited.” Inuyasha lets himself be led back to the table so that they can both sit down, watching Shippo as he ignores them both to colour what looks to be – you guessed it – a fox. “Apparently he talked about you all day at the pre-school.”

“I feel special,” Kagome remarks, grinning. “And what about you?”

Inuyasha scowls at her, the kind that she was more than used to back in the day. “Really?” he asks. It takes a lot of self-control to not break character, not when Kagome starts laughing.

“I had to try! It’s been so long! Seriously, what have you been doing for the last ten years?” She puts her head in her hand, propped up and leaning on the table like she has absolutely nowhere to be. It’s a nice little fantasy, in this moment. Inuyasha knows that the world is bigger than this, bigger than this fancy apartment. He has work and she has to go and make television shows and the two of them are connected, barely, by a past that Inuyasha had hoped to have forgotten years ago.

“Well, I adopted a son,” Inuyasha starts, eyeing the child in question. Shippo looks up for a moment before returning to his work, a protective arm coming to cover around what he’s doing. “That was… Uh, well, the process started almost two years ago but he’s only lived with me since April.”

“He was a mess,” Shippo says then, gaze never leaving his work of art.

Inuyasha feels betrayed yet again. Is this what fatherhood is truly like? “I wasn’t a mess,” he argues, reaching out to brush at Shippo’s bangs playfully. The kid doesn’t even duck away, he’s so engrossed in his artwork. He turns to Kagome, who’s watching with a tiny smile at their antics. “I would say I was a bit panicked, maybe.”

“Makes sense. Are you—” She bites off the words and then laughs, tries again. “Do you have any help?”

He has no idea why that question was funny to her, but he nods. It’s a weird answer because technically people _help_. But it’s not constant help. It’s not consistent, scheduled help. “Shippo goes to pre-school full time while I work. We, uh, tried a sitter after a couple of months of settling in and it didn’t go great.”

“She was a witch,” Shippo adds solemnly.

Inuyasha sighs. “She wasn’t but… It was my fault for not…dealing with it better, I guess.” Kagome’s eyes are dark and imploring, and it’s the look he’s been craving since he first saw her in the coffee shop, first made the connection that it was her, flesh and blood before him. “I could have organized it a bit more structured for Shippo to get used to. I thought I had but—” He rolls his eyes. “You get it.”

She hums noncommittally. “You mentioned seeing your brother the other day?”

“Half-brother,” Inuyasha reminds her, and Kagome grins again brightly. It compels him to continue, although it’s really not that interesting. “We talk now, sort of.”

She raises an eyebrow at that. “Really? Because from what I remember that wasn’t exactly a great situation.”

“Wasn’t,” he confirms, shrugging. “Not until—” He gestures towards Shippo, unable to stop himself. “Sesshomaru has an adopted daughter, as well. From earlier.”

“Really?” Kagome looks like she can barely believe it. It makes something warm settle in his chest at that, at the fact that she’s feeling the same way he had when he found out. “I can’t picture it.”

“I still have a hard time,” he grumbles.

Kagome snorts and then the oven timer goes off. She gets up and Inuyasha goes to follow only to be stopped by Shippo, a tiny hand on his arm.

“Yasha,” he starts, shifting a little in his seat. He looks down at his artwork before making a face. “Can you see it first?” It’s said in barely more than a whisper. Inuyasha nods, hiding his smirk as he’s granted access. The picture itself is basic – the colouring book is one of those cheap ones, because Shippo goes through them so often and Inuyasha can barely buy enough to keep him entertained. It’s of forest animals though, and zoo animals, and marine life. All of the things that Shippo likes, especially foxes. This page that he’s showing is one of the fox ones, but instead of just colouring in the lines, he’s added two other orangey-red blobs with eyes.

He would confirm that they’re foxes, but Shippo already gets fussy when you talk about his drawings. Inuyasha’s learned the hard way it’s best to just be excited rather than curious, so he smiles. It’s not forced at all. “This looks amazing, bud.”

Shippo stares at the artwork with what Inuyasha can only guess is a child’s trepidation. “It’s for Kagome,” he whispers, like this is some massive secret.

“She’s going to love it,” Inuyasha promises, nodding.

“For the fridge?”

All of Shippo’s artwork is on their fridge. It’s a basic shrine to the kid, only interrupted by two small polaroid photos from a party he and Shippo attended last month for Jinenji’s birthday. He can’t remember who even took the pictures, but they’re really the only ones he has of the two of them. They sit proudly at the top, followed by paper after slip after cut-out of Shippo’s other drawings and art.

One is even a macaroni picture. The noodles have been falling off steadily since he made it a couple months ago, but Inuyasha will keep it until the very end.

“Yeah, bud,” Inuyasha murmurs, reaching out to poke his cheek. “For the fridge.”

* * *

Dinner is simple enough and Shippo eats his nuggets with gusto. He’s far more excited, now that Inuyasha has confirmed his artwork to be perfect. The kid hasn’t given it to her yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

“Carrots are okay, right? You said they were fine,” Kagome whispers during one of Shippo’s endlessly long stories about pre-school. He’s not even paying attention to them as he talks, which is the only reason why Inuyasha is grateful for her question.

“They’re fine.”

“I bought like three other vegetables, just in case.” Kagome smiles at Shippo, shrugging. “I wanted to be prepared.”

Inuyasha smirks, unable to stop himself from feeling pleased by this.

“‘—And then Soten stole _my crayon_.” Shippo looks as grave as the story sounds, solemn green eyes looking between the both of them.

“That wasn’t nice of her,” Inuyasha replies, matching his tone.

Shippo gives him a funny look before turning to Kagome, waiting. She doesn’t disappoint. “That sounds very mean.”

“It is!” the kid exclaims, throwing his hands wide. Crumbs from his nuggets go absolutely everywhere. Inuyasha is pretty sure the _thunk_ that came from under the table is a fallen carrot. “I mean, it’s my crayon.”

“Crayons at the school are _everyone’s_ ,” Inuyasha stresses, tapping his fork on Shippo’s plate to get his attention back. “And that means you share.”

Shippo actually clutches at his chest, looking aghast. Inuyasha is pretty sure the overall look isn’t on purpose – just a mixture of his horrified face, timed with his hands curling in – but it’s enough to make him laugh, and then choke on it while trying to _not laugh_.

“Sharing is caring,” Kagome chimes in with. She leans forward on the table and cups her hand around her mouth, like she’s about to share a secret. “It’s how I became friends with your dad.”

At this, Shippo seems actually intrigued. “Really?”

“Uh-huh,” Kagome confirms, sitting back up. “He ran out of pencils for class, so I gave him one of mine. It was pink and sparkly, and he made this face at me the whole time.” She crosses her arms then, scowling for emphasis.

Inuyasha rolls his eyes. “You can’t bad talk me to my own _son_ ,” he tries, but it doesn’t matter. Shippo is laughing, eyes crinkled in joy. He actually collapses a little, enough that Inuyasha reaches out to steady him on the chair. It’s adorable. This whole damn thing is adorable.

Ugh, _feelings_.

They leave the kitchen once done to sit in the living room. Shippo is adamant that he needs to draw something else – he still hasn’t given Kagome the fox drawing yet – so he sits down on the carpet and gets the work.

Inuyasha’s eyes the light grey carpet with trepidation. “Do you have newspaper or anything? Something to put under that? There’s no guarantee he won’t marker all over it.”

“He has crayons,” Kagome says, but Inuyasha raises his eyebrows. Shippo holding crayons right _now_ means absolutely nothing. In two seconds, the carpet could be purple. They would never know when it happened, or even how. If fatherhood has taught Inuyasha one thing, it’s that _anything_ is possible when it comes to stains. “It’s fine,” she insists, shrugging. “Even if he gets it on the carpet, it’ll be fine.”

“You say that _now_.”

“No, I mean it.” She pushes at his shoulder. “Relax, it’s fine! I promise.”

Inuyasha glares at her for a second before he calls out to Shippo, “No markers, please!”

“Okay!” Shippo chirps back automatically. The promise means absolutely nothing.

He seems pretty preoccupied with his drawing, which is normal for them at home but a bit strange since they’re out. Shippo had been so excited but now he was focused on a goal, something that hopefully Inuyasha could tease out of him later.

“It’s clear you love him,” Kagome says then, voice soft.

“Yeah, well.” Inuyasha shrugs and then desperately tries to change the subject. Anything is better than this, at least right now. He promised his son he’ll do better, and he _will_ , but starting with Kagome is maybe not the easiest way to start. “How’s your work going? You said you’re doing the next season, or whatever?”

“We’re wrapping up season two,” she replies. Her smile suggests she knows exactly what he’s doing, but is letting it slide for now. “Only a handful of episodes left, but they’ve been really long days.” She sighs then, lips still curved upwards. “It’s fun though. I love it. Never actually thought I’d get into acting.”

She’d been in the drama program at school, Inuyasha remembered that much. Kagome had always talked about acting but it had always been so abstract. So…like a fantasy, kind of talk. Something she would mention and then laugh off, pretending to be silly. At the time, it had confused him, unsure if she was serious or not. Apparently she had been, and look where it got her.

“Do you like everyone you work with?”

“The cast is great. The crew is—” She laughs. “Phenomenal. I’ve actually become really close with a couple of them. We’ll hang out together, even on off days. Not all the time, but every once and a while.”

Inuyasha nods. He doesn’t really know the ins and outs of TV show making, so he’s not even sure what’s a good question to ask. In the end, all that matters is that she’s happy, at least for now. That she has friends. The thought reminds him though. “How’s your mom?”

The mention makes Kagome grin. “Good! She says hi, by the way. I talked to her yesterday. She was really excited that we ran into each other. Sota says hi, too. He said it begrudgingly, but I know his secrets. He _adored_ you in school. Inuyasha _this_ and Inuyasha _that._ ”

“What, you weren’t doing that too?” he asks, and Kagome actually freezes for a second before she laughs, face flushing as she hits him again. “What?”

“Think highly of yourself, huh?” She’s mocking him now, pushing into his space. “Just because you were _so cool_ in high school—”

“I was not.”

“And had all these friends—”

“Literally only you.”

That stops Kagome short and she sits back, an odd look on her face. “What? No. You had tons of friends. All those sports teams you were on? The guys that literally _always_ called your name out when we walked down the halls?”

“They weren’t—” He stops himself, because knows what’s about to come out. _They weren’t you_. And that’s far too real, and far too heavy for this moment right now. He ignores the tightness in his chest, the stupidity that only having feelings can provide, and forces out a scoff. “It’s still not what you think.”

Kagome raises an eyebrow at him but doesn’t question it. “Yeah, okay.”

“I’m serious.”

“I believe you!”

Inuyasha rolls his eyes. “I don’t know how you have a job. You’re a _terrible actor_.”

“Hey!” She really does hit him this time and he cowers away, scowling at her. He’s leaning awkwardly on the couch, watching the way her face transforms as she tilts her head back and laughs, and it’s stunning until suddenly there’s a heavy weight across his face, shoving him all the way down onto the cushions.

“Humff—” Inuyasha grabs the squirming mess on top of him and nearly gets a knee to his face for the trouble. “Shippo!”

“I have a gift for Kagome!” Shippo declares excitedly. He must see the irritation on Inuyasha’s face because he frowns for a second and actually _stops squirming_. It’s enough for Inuyasha to push himself back up, Shippo fitting into his lap. His kid tilts his head up to stare at him and then pats his face rather aggressively.

Gentleness. They are seriously going to have a talk on gentleness.

“What’s my gift?” Kagome asks, getting them both back on track. “Can I see it?”

Suddenly, Shippo’s a little shy. He passes over a ripped out, folded up page from his colouring book. Inuyasha can’t really see it from the other side but Kagome gasps when she opens it, exuberantly pleased. Inuyasha feels Shippo wriggle before he sees the way his son smiles, proud.

“This is amazing!” Kagome exclaims. She flips it around, shows Inuyasha a coloured-in drawing of a dancing frog. It’s definitely not the fox drawing that Shippo coloured earlier, which is a bit confusing, but maybe he decided he hadn’t like it after all.

“Can it go on the fridge?” Shippo asks.

“Of course!” Kagome scoots off the couch and even helps Shippo slide down. Her hands brush against Inuyasha’s arms accidentally while she does so, and Inuyasha swallows back any feelings on _that_. Instead, he follows them both back to the kitchen where Kagome seems to be searching for a magnet. Her little “ah ha!” makes Shippo giggle, and then he helpfully points out the _exact spot_ he wants the dancing frog to be on.

“Perfect,” Inuyasha declares the moment it’s up.

“Perfect,” Kagome agrees.

Shippo beams. Inuyasha decides that they should probably go home, just in case his heart can’t take all the happiness for that much longer.

Plus, you know. It’s almost Shippo’s bedtime. That’s a better excuse.

* * *

He gets a text message later that night. He doesn’t see it until after Shippo has fallen asleep. It only took one story which is quite a feat for him.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_It was really great to see you._

Inuyasha lets out a breath and feels his stomach swoop.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_Us too._

* * *

Inuyasha is definitely _not_ late this time.

It’s nothing to be smug about, but he can’t help it. Sometimes life just goes your way, you know? He walks onto the familiar path of the park, heading to the far corner of it that’s away from the picnic benches and the seats. There, standing tall and imposing as always, is Sesshomaru.

He doesn’t comment about Inuyasha’s timeliness. Compliments are not a part of the man’s programming. “Shippo looks well.”

“He had a good day at school,” Inuyasha replies easily, tucking his hands into his jacket pocket. It’s not particularly cold out, but there’s a breeze in the air that suggests winter is soon to come. For his sake, he hopes not. The longer he can avoid it, the better. “Where’s Rin?”

“At the top, by the slide.” Sesshomaru shifts his gaze to watch her and Inuyasha follows his line of sight. There, standing tall and beautiful, is his half-brother’s own adopted child. Rin is eight years old and has been with Sesshomaru for a few years now. Inuyasha had been absolutely shocked when he first met her, incredibly confused. They had enough similar features that Inuyasha first thought Sesshomaru had hidden a whole relationship, possibly a marriage, and definitely a child from him. It turned out it was only the child, and Inuyasha still to this day hasn’t gotten the full story of how Sesshomaru had met Rin.

Inuyasha’s pretty sure it’s not a nice story.

Strangely enough, it was part of the reason that they started to talk again. Inuyasha had been knee-deep in applications and completely doubting his ability to be a parent. He figured that there was no way – no way that he could do it and no way the papers would go through, even if he felt he could. It had been Sesshomaru who took one look at him, did that annoying exhale-that-was-really-a-sigh, and stated bluntly, “Don’t be stupid.”

“But he has no one else,” Inuyasha had argued at the time. He felt that familiar fire in his veins, the one he always felt burn at the mention of Shippo, at the thought of him. “He’s alone and for some reason he’s been passed on more than once. Who could—”

“No,” Sesshomaru had interrupted. His voice was smooth and cold compared to Inuyasha’s heated, rough growls of exclamation. “Don’t be stupid and finish the application.”

They weren’t close. Inuyasha is positive that they never truly would be. But this is a strange sort of closeness all of its own, and while Sesshomaru is certainly not his first choice for half-brother of the year, he is the man who he’d leave to take care of Shippo, if something happened to him.

“Anything go on this week?” Inuyasha asks.

Sesshomaru shakes his head, still staring at his daughter on the jungle gym. “Nothing of import.”

“And Rin?”

“Exceeding in her class.” There’s a hint of pride there, buried beneath the layers of solid ice. “She has several friends. I’ve been told there will be sleepovers in the near future.”

Inuyasha snorts. He can’t help it. The thought of Sesshomaru hosting a bunch of eight year old girls in his house is simply laughable. Still, he knows it’ll be done. If Rin wants it, she has it. Sesshomaru is a bigger pushover for his child than Inuyasha is, and that is _saying something_.

There is a tiny flare of hurt that lingers in his mind at the acknowledgement, but he lets it pass. Sesshomaru had only been nineteen when he was left to take care of Inuyasha all alone. In many ways, none of what transpired was his fault.

“Her birthday is coming up, too,” Inuyasha throws out there, watching his half-brother. “Are you going to send me a list this year, or what?”

Sesshomaru raises an eyebrow at him. “Did I not send you one last year?”

The _lies_. “Sending a text message of two options the day before her party is _not a list,_ you asshole.”

“Language,” Sesshomaru scolds.

Inuyasha has to restrain himself from sticking out his tongue. It’s a perpetual feeling when he’s around Sesshomaru. “Seriously, give me a list with at least a week’s notice.”

His half-brother spares him a quick side-eye but his lips purse. It’s an acknowledgement, at least, which means that it’s as good as done. Inuyasha feels only slightly better.

“Inuyasha!” The cheer is a welcome distraction, his niece bounding up to him with her long, absurdly flighty hair sticking up in every direction. She looks nothing like Sesshomaru’s child in this moment. “You made it this time!”

“Ha _ha_ ,” he says, leaning over as she immediately pulls him into a hug. “Did your father make you say that?”

“What?” Rin asks, confused. “No, why?”

“Because his inability to be on time is a constant joke,” Sesshomaru answers, voice the tiniest bit dry.

“Hey!”

“And a stain on the family name.”

Inuyasha rolls his eyes as Rin pulls back from hugging him, brow even more furrowed before. “How do you stain a family name?” she asks.

“Don’t get your father started or we’ll be here for fifty years.” Inuyasha flicks her bangs and Rin laughs, delighted as always by the attention.

“We’ll get very hungry,” she giggles out, just as a long, drawn-out yell can be heard approaching them. It’s Shippo, running towards them. Well, more specifically, running towards Rin. “Shippo!” she cries out, opening her arms for Shippo to jump into. They both collapse into the grass, laughing and rolling. Inuyasha despairs for the grass stains on the jacket but can’t get upset when the two of them are clearly so happy.

It reminds him of something he had wanted to possibly ask Sesshomaru. Inuyasha takes a breath and forces himself to speak, even though he very much doesn’t want to. It’s the last thing he wants. The _very last_. But he made a promise.

As the two kids run back off to play where the other children are, Inuyasha sighs. Now or never. He ignores the voice in his head that purposefully screams _never_. “Shippo had a meltdown on Sunday.” Sesshomaru doesn’t say anything, but he does look at him, undeniably focused. Inuyasha continues. “Not the usual kind. Usually he just gets mad or yells or becomes really fucking stubborn. This was—He _cried_. Actually cried for the first time and it was all because we couldn’t come to the park to see some friend he met. And then it spiralled into that friend being gone, and then me being gone…” Inuyasha can’t even look his half-brother in the eye right now. He feels like the worst parent in the history of the world, but he has to do this. He has to do whatever is best for Shippo, even if that means _not him_.

“He still thinks you’ll leave.” It’s not a question.

Inuyasha nods. “I told him I wouldn’t, that that would never happen.”

“And?”

“He was so wrung out from crying, he fell asleep almost instantly.” Inuyasha shrugs, miserable.

Sesshomaru hums, the only verbal clue that he’s giving any of this some thought and consideration. After a few moments, his lips thin and his eyes are undoubtedly tracking their two kids by the swing set. “Rin has always been more emotional,” he says finally. “She was either happy or sad. There was no in-between, not like Shippo.”

“I took it all wrong,” Inuyasha admits haltingly. “I thought it was him adjusting, getting used to things. A new routine, a new place, a new school… I mean, I took off a solid month but maybe I should just find something remote. Stay at home with him. I don’t know.”

“He likes the socialization,” Sesshomaru points out but it only makes him heave out a breath.

“Well, I’m floundering here, okay? Whatever I’m doing is not enough.”

At this, his half-brother gives him a look. Inuyasha wouldn’t call it _fond_ , but he wouldn’t know what else to call it, if forced to pick a name. “It is. It’s only been six months. It took Rin over a year until she was comfortable at home.” He shifts back to watching the children. “Only when that happened, did her comfort elsewhere begin to flourish.”

Inuyasha bites his lip, figuring the last question can’t hurt. “Did you…see anyone? Together?”

This takes another long moment of silence. For a while, he’s sure that his half-brother isn’t going to respond until his voice, normally cold, comes out softly. “In the beginning. Her life before was…traumatic. The difficulties in a child’s life should never be compared but—” Uncharacteristically, he cuts himself off and then frowns. “Hers was by far the least acceptable.”

He still won’t ask. Inuyasha knows that he’ll either eventually find out by Rin, or he will never know at all. That’s okay with him. Some things are better left unsaid.

“I didn’t know her then, obviously,” Inuyasha says quietly, “but from what I see now, there’s just a really happy little girl who loves her father, and her family. Small and fucking weird as we are.”

His half-brother doesn’t say anything in return, but that’s okay too. When Inuyasha looks over, there’s a hint of a smile. Possibly an illusion, but in the end, he figures he feels it more than sees it anyways.

* * *

Shippo refuses to stop talking about Kagome.

Inuyasha understands – truly, he does – but at some point, his jealousy is going to get out of control. No longer are the days where Shippo wants to draw him a picture. Just Kagome. The castle he made? He needs to take a picture to send to Kagome.

Kagome _this._ Kagome _that._

“Why not me?” Inuyasha asks finally, lying on the carpet in his silent outrage as Shippo finishes posing his favourite action figures. “How come you don’t show me?”

Shippo gives him a look. It’s a look that’s slowly becoming familiar, although it appears at the most random of times. Inuyasha still hasn’t cracked exactly what it means. “You’re here,” he says simply, and the _duh_ is very much implied, whether his son knows the term or not. His kid goes back to fussing with the figures before he deems them perfect, tiny hands fisting into Inuyasha’s sweater to get his attention. Like Inuyasha wasn’t been one-hundred percent focused the entire play time. “Yasha, take a picture.”

It’s not the first time Shippo’s made a request like this, but usually it’s for things they’re doing outside, things that the kid doesn’t have immediate access to. His toys aren’t usually one of them. Still, Inuyasha is digging into the pocket of his jeans to pull out his cell, unlocking it and getting the camera app open. He takes a couple photos – the first is blurry thanks to Shippo’s unnecessary knee into his side – and waits while his kid judges.

“Good,” he finally says. Inuyasha thinks that’ll be it, but then Shippo pokes him in the cheek. “Can you send it to Kagome?”

“What?”

Shippo gives him another look. This one is despairing. Inuyasha knows this one well. “To Kagome! She needs to see!”

Inuyasha is absolutely certain that Kagome _doesn’t_ need to see, but it’s not like he’s going to shatter Shippo’s heart with that. So, with only minor trepidation, Inuyasha sends the best and least blurry photo to Kagome.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_IMG_01890.jpg attached_

_Shippo would like you to see the epic battle that is going on in our living room._

Almost immediately, the “…” bubble appears. Inuyasha feels that dumb, fluttering feeling again. He ignores it by looking at his son instead, Shippo back to playing with his superheroes. “Can you tell me the story?” Inuyasha asks. He doesn’t want Shippo to be quiet.

“The Tessaiga was stolen!” his kid exclaims, green eyes wide and earnest. He waves his favourite action figure in the air – some character in red with white hair, he has no idea of the name, so does that mean he’s a bad parent? – and nearly hits Inuyasha in the nose as he continues. “It’s a powerful sword meant to save the world! And Naraku has come to attack and then he goes _wham!_ And everyone screams ‘oh no!’ but it’s okay! It’s okay because he has the sword _all along._ It’s in his eye!”

Inuyasha blinks. Once. Twice. And then wonders if he should be looking far more into the story of these action figures he buys for him. “Who’s Naraku?”

“The bad guy!” Shippo whines. “Yasha!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Inuyasha checks his phone – he has it on vibrate again for reasons completely unknown – and sees not one, but three messages.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_Oh, looks very, very scary! Who is going to win?_

_Should I be worried?_

_Tell Shippo I say hi!_

“Kagome says hi,” Inuyasha says instead, grateful to separate himself from the conversation of the action figure story. “She also wants to know if she should be worried about the battle.”

Shippo laughs and tugs his favourite action figure to his chest. “No! It’s not real.”

“Should I tell her that?” At his kid’s nod, Inuyasha does so. Shippo shifts over to him, crawling the way only a child could into the tiny space between his chest and his phone, arms already encircling around him. They both watch as the “…” bubble appears.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_How do I know it’s not real? Those heroes look real to me!_

She must know that Shippo is practically on top of him. How she knows this, Inuyasha hasn’t the faintest idea.

“Take a picture,” Shippo says, squirming around uncontrollably. Inuyasha prays his kid doesn’t kick him in the balls like he did a week ago.

“Of what?” Inuyasha asks, opening the camera app anyways.

Shippo points at the screen, and it’s only then Inuyasha figures out what he means. A selfie, then. Of the two of them. Inuyasha rotates the camera lens and is taken immediately aback by what he sees. It’s stupid, really. He shouldn’t be taken aback. The screen is filled completely by him and Shippo, who is holding the action figure in the shot. Shippo is beaming, green eyes shining, his temple pressed against Inuyasha’s cheek.

He takes the photo, and then another. Another. He doesn’t stop even when Shippo laughs at him, and then starts complaining with that big, exaggerated pout only a four year old can master. When he’s done, there are at least twenty pictures of them. “Which one?” Inuyasha asks, sorting through them one-by-one. Shippo hums until finally he exclaims, “That one!”

_Commissioned Artwork by[Wolfcry77](https://wolfcry77.tumblr.com/)_

It’s a terrible shot, really. The action figure takes up the entire bottom of the screen and part of both of their faces. Shippo’s giggling though, eyes shut and crinkled in his mirth while Inuyasha looks at him. His expression is clearly fond. It’s the softest Inuyasha has ever, ever seen himself.

_This is fatherhood_ , he thinks a little wildly.

He sends the photo to Kagome.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_IMG_01909.jpg attached_

_See? Proof that they’re just toys!_

The bubble doesn’t instantly appear.

“I need to build a superhero house,” Shippo declares suddenly, wiggling away just as suddenly as he had squirmed in. “Or Naraku will win!”

“Can’t have that,” Inuyasha agrees solemnly. He turns his attention back to his phone, drawn in not by the text messages but by the photo album. He stares, unable to help himself, at the photos he just took. He sorts through them all, and then goes through them again. Other than that lone, single polaroid photo on his fridge door, Inuyasha doesn’t have any pictures of them both. Tons of Shippo alone, sure. Shippo at the park, or Shippo holding his hand, or Shippo playing in their house, or eating, or hell – there are like ten of him just _sleeping_. Inuyasha takes these photos because it never feels real and somehow, this _proof_ , helps in the smallest of ways.

But these ones, taken just now?

Shippo looks _happy_. Easily happy. Not forced. Just…simply smiling to smile, because he wants to send a nice picture to Kagome.

Without thinking about it, Inuyasha makes the photo his new lock screen. It’s replacing the photo of Shippo, covered in grass stains from the park grinning up at him. At the time, Inuyasha hadn’t thought any photo could be better than that one.

He was wrong. This photo has _them both_.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE._

_OMG_

_You can’t do this to me._

_But I’m glad to know the battle isn’t real._

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_Shippo decided that he now needs to build a big house for all the heroes. All of the DUPLO bricks are on the floor._

_If I die tonight from stepping on them, please know that it wasn’t my fault._

“Shippo,” he calls, despairingly watches at the DUPLO bricks go absolutely everywhere when the kid pours the bucket of them over. He swears one just went under the couch. Thank god none of them match the colour of the rug, but that’s never stopped them from hurting Inuyasha’s foot before. “Try to keep them together, please.”

“Okay, Yasha,” Shippo responds, with all the heavy-heartedness of a child who will never, ever listen.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_I need to go back to set but PLEASE SEND MORE PHOTOS. Whenever._

_My makeup artist things you’re both adorable._

Inuyasha can’t help but smirk. That warm feeling is back, but it’s not as overwhelming as the last one. When he wishes her good luck on set and then locks his phone, he makes sure to click it back to life a second later. Just to see the lock screen.

Shippo’s beaming face pressed against his shines bright in the blue light.

Inuyasha puts his photo away and crawls over to his kid. “Show me how to make a superhero house?”

It takes a second, but Shippo beams at him and offers over a potentially painful-looking DUPLO brick.

_Artwork by[Mamabearcat](https://mamabearcatfanart.tumblr.com/)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update: December 29, 2020
> 
> **Feedback is love.**


	3. Chapter 3

“So let me get this straight,” Jinenji says, pushing Shippo on the swing set with a gentleness that rivals his looks. “You went over to her super nice apartment and ate dinner together and played with Shippo.”

“Yeah.”

“And then you left.”

“That’s what people do when visiting other places,” Inuyasha reminds his best friend rudely. “You eventually leave.”

“Without plans to meet again?”

Inuyasha scowls at him. “Well, like, she said we should try to do it again in a week or two, but she’s busy. She’s on _television_.” He hisses that last part, because park moms are nosey little shits. It’s part of the reason that Sesshomaru stays far, far away from them. Inuyasha is sure that there are a couple in the pack that are lovely, but luck so far hasn’t been in his favour when a few have approached. “It’s not like an office job with steady hours and weekends free.”

Jinenji blushes – honest to god blushes, this hulking man is the gentlest soul, Inuyasha cannot _deal with him_ – and nods. “Makes sense.”

“So you see my dilemma.”

“How is it a dilemma if Kagome already said she wanted to hang out again? Just offer.”

Inuyasha’s scowl deepens. This is not helpful. “Offer? I don’t know when she’s free!”

“She doesn’t know when _you’re_ free, either,” Jinenji points out.

“I’m a single dad in one of the basic office jobs I just explained. My availability is _completely open_ until Shippo decides he hates me and wants to move out.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s busier than that.”

“It’s not.”

Jinenji huffs. “So I see your pining for her has begun again.”

Pining? _Pining?_ Inuyasha is aghast. He has no friends. None. They are evil betrayers and foul. “F— _Forget_ you,” he hisses. “I do not pine.”

“I literally see it on your face.”

Inuyasha throws his arms up in the air. “Shippo, help me out here. Tell Jinenji he’s being silly.”

The kid twists around in the swing as best as the belt allows for, eyes how Inuyasha is clearly not the one pushing him and then turns away. Nothing is said.

Jinenji grins smugly. The man is never smug, so this is absolutely a problem. Jinenji and ‘smug’ don’t go together. The man is like… Chaste hand kisses and soft smiles and placating hand gestures, like he overcompensates for his massive bulking muscle by being the gentlest giant in all the land. _Smug_ shouldn’t even be an option on the man’s mainframe. “I guess we know what Shippo thinks of _that_.”

“He’s just mad because I made him eat broccoli yesterday,” Inuyasha grouses.

“I like carrots!” Shippo chips in.

Inuyasha sighs. “We ran out.” He knows that Shippo doesn’t care one way or the other, unless Inuyasha is putting some other vegetable on his plate. “But seriously, I’m not pining. I can’t pine after meeting her one time, okay? That’s ridiculous.”

“Twice.”

“The coffee shop hardly counts,” Inuyasha scoffs. “It was a twenty minute conversation. You can’t like someone enough to _pine_ in twenty minutes.” Jinenji makes a noise that clearly means he doesn’t believe him. Whatever. Inuyasha doesn’t care anyways. “It’s been thirteen years.”

“You keep reminding me,” Jinenji says kindly. “Or maybe you’re reminding yourself?”

“You are _not_ Dr. Phil-ing me right now.”

His best – _worst_ – friend shrugs. “Do you like her?”

Inuyasha takes one look at Shippo – who doesn’t appear to be paying attention, but _still_ – and shakes his head. “She’s an old friend.”

“But you could be more, maybe,” Jinenji suggests, oddly pushing the issue. Maybe he knows Inuyasha better than he gives him credit for. No, that’s not true. Inuyasha knows Jinenji, knows that his friend is probably the best person to look him right in the face and announce exactly what’s going on in his head. Once upon a time, that power was only held by Kagome.

Inuyasha shrugs, and if his expression is helpless, there’s not much he can do about that.

“Text her,” Jinenji says simply. “Send her another cute photo of you and Shippo, and then ask. No one can say no to Shippo.”

That’s actually… Very, very good advice.

 _Best_ friend ever, definitely.

* * *

Shippo is wearing his pajamas and is in one of those moods. It’s rare that it happens but once in a while, the kid gets so tired from his day that he starts to cling. Inuyasha finds it adorable but he’ll never, ever say it out loud. He also will never say out loud how much he loves it, even though he’s sure anyone with half a brain that looked at him would know.

“Llama Pajama,” Shippo says, pulling up the blankets around him. He’s asking for that book again, the same one Inuyasha has read a billion times over the last week. At least he’s not arguing for red pajamas this time, too, although Inuyasha is wondering if he should be worried. It’s literally about a kid llama going to bed and his mama llama being too busy to stay so kid llama freaks out and then mama llama comes back and soothes him. Like, is there some sort of hidden message here the four year old is putting out? Is that a crazy thing to think? Inuyasha is _clearly_ not a mom. He’s barely a dad. Technically a dad, but Shippo gets to decide whatever he wants, when he wants. Inuyasha won’t argue. “Please, Yasha?”

“Okay,” he promises, settling in on the other side. Shippo immediately curves into him, little hand grabbing his sweater, and Inuyasha takes a second to stare at him.

He is the biggest sap, for fuck’s sake.

Wait! Maybe this is the ideal opportunity.

“Do you know who might like your book?” Inuyasha murmurs softly. When Shippo looks up at him, big eyes questioning, he smirks. “Kagome might.”

The grin is immediate. “Yeah!” he says, an excited mumble.

Inuyasha is using his adorable son to potentially get more time with a past love. This _must_ knock down his Parent Approval Rating. Inuyasha doesn’t even know what the rating is at. The week has been so crazy – so _good_ – that Inuyasha hasn’t even thought of it.

That’s a good thing, though. Right?

“Did you want to send her a picture?” Inuyasha asks.

“Okay,” Shippo says immediately. He grabs the book and Inuyasha has to lean over to the small table at the side where he left his phone. It’s easier, somehow, to take the picture this time. Shippo’s smile isn’t the big toothy grin of last time, but it’s small and sweet. He’s clinging to the book, mostly hiding the title, and his wild red hair is pressed all along Inuyasha’s chest. His own face is in it, but barely.

_Commissioned Artwork by[Wolfcry77](https://wolfcry77.tumblr.com/)_

Shippo deems it good enough and Inuyasha gets ready to send it off. “What do you want to say to her?” he asks.

A big yawn escapes him before Shippo hums. “Tell her that she needs red pajamas,” he says wisely.

Inuyasha shakes his head with a grin and does as he’s told.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_IMG_01927.jpg attached_

_Shippo wants me to tell you that you need red pajamas._

He puts his phone away then, and begins to read. It takes two iterations before the kid’s eyes close with the finality of heavy sleep. For a long while, Inuyasha watches him, brushing his stray bangs that fall into his eyes and pulling up the blankets tighter. He takes a photo because he’s an absolute _sap_ of the sappiest kind, and then disappears.

Inuyasha is online shopping for the holidays an hour later, when his phone finally vibrates with a message. It’s half-past eight, so not too late, but he still does something like a smile when he sees it’s from Kagome.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_I guess it’s a good thing I have red pajamas._

_Just not on me right now._

A photo is also included. Kagome’s done up in makeup, clearly for some kind of scene. She has dirt – fake dirt? – all over her face. She looks like an absolute mess.

She looks like the best thing Inuyasha has seen since he almost stepped on Shippo.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_He’s asleep, but I’ll tell him in the morning. He’ll be happy._

He pauses, unsure, before figuring _fuck it_. Why not? It’s late, or at least it feels late for him. Maybe that’s just the single fatherhood exhaustion talking though.

_I’ll show him the photo, too. He’ll love it._

He attaches a photo of Shippo from a couple months back. He, too, has dirt all over his face. Inuyasha was serious about his kid rolling in every mud pit he saw.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_You’re killing me._

_He’s so cute._

_Inuyasha how do you have the cutest child ever._

He doesn’t know, honestly. Inuyasha didn’t plan for any of this. Still, he’s horrifically grateful. Inuyasha hadn’t really been doing anything with his life prior to meeting Shippo. He’d just been living. Waking, eating, working, eating, sleeping. Jinenji was scattered in there a bit. Sesshomaru hadn’t come into the picture, yet.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_He gets it from me, clearly._

Exhaustion must really be eating at him. Inuyasha blinks at the message he automatically sent and then turns off his laptop. It’s time for bed.

* * *

The next morning, Shippo is in bed with him, poking his cheek to wake him. They go through their morning routine and it’s not until they’re eating breakfast that Inuyasha thinks to check his phone.

There are two messages: one from around nine-thirty, and another from closer to midnight. The one from midnight also includes a photo.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_Clearly._

_Red pajamas accounted for!_

_Commissioned Artwork by[Wolfcry77](https://wolfcry77.tumblr.com/)_

It’s a silly selfie, Kagome crookedly in the frame with tired eyes but a beaming smile. Her hair is up in a messy bun that Inuyasha wants to take apart and her pajamas are soft looking, vibrantly red and comfortably oversized.

“Hey bud, Kagome has red pajamas,” he says, sliding the phone over so Shippo can see.

His kid grins, all toothy and adorable like he always does for Kagome. Somehow, he’s not as jealous this time. Shippo’s eyes widen happily. “Can we have a sleepover?”

Inuyasha chokes on his breakfast. Shippo laughs, because of course he does.

When he messages her back with their approval, he doesn’t mention a sleepover of any kind.

* * *

Things seem to be going…well. Inuyasha doesn’t really know, to be honest. He thinks so? Like, they text a fair bit. Jinenji’s accusation still rings in his ears too much though. He’s not _pining_. He’s…getting to know her again. That’s reasonable, isn’t it?

Also, he has Shippo to consider. It’s not like Kagome can just waltz into their life and then disappear when he’s clearly getting attached. Shit, this is probably a conversation he should have. An adult conversation, setting – like – boundaries? Expectations? But do you have the conversation with friends only?

Because as much as Inuyasha is _interested_ in the potential of more, he also knows that it’s a long-shot. Like a moon-shot, basically. She’s a fucking actor on a popular television show that’s gaining more and more popularity each day. Don’t ask how he knows this. He _does not_ have a Google alert for her or anything because that would be weird and stalkerish.

So…what was his problem again? Right. Boundaries. Do you set those with friends?

Inuyasha thinks that you probably do, depending on the friend. It’s not like he ever did with Jinenji, and Shippo’s pretty attached to him. But Kagome is, for obvious reasons, different. Yet, is she different enough to be singled out for a conversation Jinenji never got? Does it only have to happen if there’s the potential for more? And let’s face it: that’s not going to happen.

It’s fine. That’s _fine_. He’s fine.

Inuyasha stares at the ceiling of his bedroom. It’s past eleven and he can’t sleep. Still, he’s fine.

His phone starts to vibrate and it’s startling enough that Inuyasha jumps in his bed. Holy shit, who could be calling him now? Shit, is it Sesshomaru with an emergency? Is Rin okay? It’s not until he has the device in his hand that he sees it’s Kagome, and her name on the screen makes him frown. She never calls this late. Ever.

Shit, what if _she’s_ not okay?

“What’s wrong?” he says upon answering, already sitting up in bed.

Kagome groans on the other end, which doesn’t make him feel better _at all_. In fact, it makes everything a billion times worse because she’s hurt, clearly, what the _fuck_ — “No, oh my god, I’m so sorry! Everything is fine,” she replies. Inuyasha listens and deems her to sound okay, if slightly embarrassed. “I’m okay. I just…misdialled.”

“Misdialled?” Inuyasha asks. He rubs at his face and sinks back down into the mattress. His body is still tingling with the fear of a possible emergency. “What happened?”

“I’m just driving home from set,” Kagome explains. “It wasn’t supposed to be a long day but we ended up having—It’s not important. Technical issues. The point is that I don’t normally drive when it’s so late, and I’m exhausted because I was on-set at like six in the morning, and I was trying to call someone to keep me awake. I knew you were in bed! I didn’t mean to bother you. You can go to sleep again, I promise.”

It’s maybe the longest she’s rambled at him. Inuyasha enjoys it though, finds that the sound of her voice is reassuring in a way that her text messages aren’t.

Well, _that’s_ a weird thing to think when you’re pretty sure you’re platonic friends.

Or is it?

Inuyasha has like one friend. He has no fucking clue.

“Inuyasha?” His name is soft, a whisper over the speaker. “Are you asleep?”

“No, I’m here,” he replies. “Sorry I was just processing.”

“I should let you sleep.”

“No,” he says immediately, which, _psycho_. Inuyasha winces. “I mean, it’s fine. I was actually already awake. We can talk if you want, until you get home.”

“Are you sure?” Kagome sounds so hesitant. He can clearly picture her face, the way it’s probably all scrunched up in worry. She’s always concerned she’s overstepping, or being a bother when she isn’t. This is something that hasn’t changed over the years.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay.” He can hear the smile. Inuyasha represses his own, and then realizes he’s alone in the dark so he doesn’t have to. “How’s Shippo?”

“Good,” Inuyasha replies, thinking of his son. “He had a good day at school. I think he’s befriending that one girl in his class that keeps stealing his crayons. I’m not sure if it’s because of the sharing or because he’s just used to her now.”

“Does he have trouble making friends?” Kagome asks gently. “He seems so outgoing.”

“Certain situations, yeah.” Inuyasha thinks about the early pre-school days, when Nazuna was calling him almost all the time. “When there’s nothing to fight over, he’s pretty good. Like he enjoys running around at the park so he’ll play with whoever is there. Pre-school is different, I guess. Nazuna thinks it’s because it’s reminiscent of when he was still in a group home. You have to share everything. You have to deal with others on a regular basis.”

Kagome hums. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Even if it doesn’t, it doesn’t matter.” Inuyasha bites at his lip and wonders if he should say the next bit. It’s…personal. He’s only metaphorically dipped his toes in the conversation with Jinenji last week. Strangely, he and Sesshomaru had the conversation which was bizarrely helpful. This is, of course, a horror of its own. Inuyasha spilling feelings to Sesshomaru and having his half-brother actually listen and vaguely care is…a building development. “Shippo still doesn’t really believe the adoption is permanent. Or, he thinks it’ll be taken from him. There was a situation last week…” Inuyasha winces again. “I should have expected it, I guess.”

“I don’t think you can really _expect_ anything as a parent,” Kagome tells him gently. “Every kid is probably so different.”

“Yeah, well.” Inuyasha huffs softly. “It felt awful.”

“Of course it did. Has anything happened since?”

“No. He’s actually been better?” The thought makes him frown, makes him wonder if – _when_ – there will be another unexpected upset. “We’ll see. I’m just trying to get him to trust that I’ll be there.”

“It’ll happen.” Kagome’s voice is reassuring, a band-aid on a wound that Inuyasha realizes only now was festering a little. Sesshomaru stopped the bleed out, but Kagome’s soothing the infection. “I know _you know_ that it’ll take time.”

Inuyasha grunts. Just because he knows that doesn’t mean he has to particularly like it. “How was your day?” he asks instead, trying to change the topic.

“Busy and then not busy at all, and then busy again.” Kagome laughs a little. “Acting is basically eighty percent waiting, and then twenty percent doing your best to act your way out of a paper bag. Today was worse though. There were a lot of behind the scene technical issues. We’re still on schedule, which is good, but there’s all this talk about reshoots happening and—” She stops herself with another laugh. “Sorry, it’s boring.”

“What you do isn’t what I’d call _boring_ ,” Inuyasha replies dryly, rolling his eyes. She can’t see it, and Inuyasha wonders if she knows him well enough now to imagine him doing it anyways.

“I try not to ramble, I guess.” Kagome sighs. “I don’t get to tell a lot of people outside the industry.”

“I’m surprised you can tell at all.”

“Well, I’m not telling you any spoilers,” she points out. “And I trust you.” Inuyasha doesn’t stop his smile this time. “We should try to get together again soon. My schedule is all over the place but I should be free next week. I can come to you guys, if that’s easier?”

“Only if you want,” Inuyasha replies. “I know you’re being cautious or whatever.”

“Overly cautious,” Kagome says with clear self-deprecation. “I’m not exactly an A-list star – probably not even B-list – but Sango, my manager, says anything can happen. The smarter I am now, the longer I can avoid it if it does become a thing.”

“Like, what, paparazzi?” Inuyasha asks.

“Hakurei is one of the major shooting cities,” Kagome explains. “So yeah, paps are everywhere. Again, I’m not important enough to be bothered but it takes one time, you know? One time and what if that blows up and then I’ll never be left alone.” She sounds horrified at the thought. “Totosai – he’s one of the leads on our show – has been in the industry for _years_. He tells all kinds of stories. I don’t know.” She sighs again. “I’m probably being silly.”

“Whatever,” Inuyasha answers, shrugging even though she can’t see it. “If you’re being silly, the worst is that you’re wearing sunglasses indoors. Who cares about that? Probably better to err on the side of caution.”

“Yeah, that’s what I think too.” There’s definitely a smile in her voice. Inuyasha _knows it_ , can sense it. “I’m home now,” Kagome murmurs softly. “Thanks for keeping me awake.”

“No problem,” Inuyasha replies, just as quiet. “And Shippo and I are almost always home, except Tuesdays. If you’re ever free just…come over. It’s fine.” That’s platonic, right? He’s said the same thing to Jinenji a billion times, even though the moving mountain of a man never does it.

Kagome thanks him and bids him goodnight. Everything about it is hushed, her phone no longer on the car speaker so for the first time, ever, Inuyasha has her voice right in his ear. It’s shockingly intimate.

When the call ends, the phone beeping twice at him to signal she’s hung up, Inuyasha puts his cell phone down on his chest and swears.

He is so _fucked_.

* * *

Inuyasha is pretty sure that despite giving her the invitation, Kagome won’t take him up on it. Or at least, it’ll take him reminding her over and over that she can visit whenever. Plus, she’s busy. It’s like Inuyasha told Jinenji: Kagome has a completely different life and that life doesn’t involve him and Shippo. Sure, they’re probably great friends for the once-and-a-while visit, no matter how often she says they should get together. But Inuyasha is Inuyasha, and Kagome is Kagome. He has a kid. There’s no special romance here, no star-crossed lovers shit the poets are going to write about.

And yet.

_And yet._

His phone rings again just as Inuyasha is checking the rice to make sure it’s actually cooked properly this time. He sucks at cooking. He _sucks_ at it. With his mind focused on not ruining their dinner, Inuyasha barely glances at the screen before answering it. It isn’t until he’s accepted the call on speaker that he properly reads the name, and damn _._ It’s Kagome.

He really has to stop expecting it to be someone else. Who the fuck else is it going to be?

“Inuyasha?” Kagome asks, and oh fuck. He’s supposed to answer the phone like a normal person, not stare and breathe into the line like a _weirdo_.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here.” God, he’s the worst. “How are you?”

“Good! Uh,” Kagome pauses and laughs, and welp there goes his insides. Ugh. “I know you said I could, but obviously it’s fine if you can’t. But I’m free? And around the coffee shop, actually, so I can come for a visit if you want?”

A visit. A visit? “You want to come here?” It’s a dumb question but it’s what comes out of his mouth immediately. “Are you sure?”

Kagome laughs again and the sound of it actually attracts Shippo’s attention, his kid wandering in clutching at his stuffed fox toy. He gasps, big smile spreading on his face as he comes over. “Kagome!”

“Hi Shippo!” she greets excitedly. “How are you?”

“Good! Are you coming over?” Shippo’s big green eyes turn to him and Inuyasha stares at the attempted dinner with something like horror. Oh god, of all the nights for him to man up and attempt cooking again after a few days of takeout.

“I’m not sure,” Kagome answers, and she’s definitely a little stilted right now. Probably because Inuyasha hasn’t said anything like a complete moron.

“Come!” The word blurts out of him and sounds far too gruff, like he’s angry about it. He stares up at the ceiling in despair and tries again. “You should come over. We’re here. Have you eaten?”

“I have,” Kagome says, “but if you haven’t I can pick something up for the both of you.”

“No, we have dinner. If you don’t mind us eating, you can join us whenever you want.”

Shippo cheers and does something that’s probably a dance. Inuyasha has no idea. He looks like he’s wiggling with his hands in the air. “Kagome’s coming over!” he belts out, first running straight into Inuyasha’s leg in an aggressive hug before dashing into the living room. The couch squeaks at what is probably his dive bomb onto the cushions.

Inuyasha is never going to settle him for dinner.

“What’s your address?” Kagome asks, and he rattles it off to her while taking the food off the heat. He prays that Shippo likes this. Dear god, if he doesn’t then Inuyasha is going to have to do the ‘nuggets of shame’ oven bake so that he doesn’t starve his child. All while Kagome is watching, _fuck_. Fuck. He’s supposed to look like he knows what he’s doing.

They hang up and Inuyasha hollers for Shippo to come to the table for dinner. The kid is in such a good mood that he immediately obeys, stuffed fox trailing behind him on the floor. This is normal routine, so Inuyasha helps him into his small booster seat – he’s not going to need it soon, oh god he’s _growing so fast_ – and then plants the fox on a stack of books that permanently sits in the chair beside him. The books allow the fox to also be at an appropriate height for eating. Inuyasha’s just grateful that Shippo doesn’t make him give the stuffed toy a plate of food, too.

Inuyasha would, if it would guarantee Shippo eats something he makes.

Maybe Kagome coming over is the best possible thing for new food though, because when he gives it to him Shippo doesn’t even hesitate. His eyes narrow slightly but then he digs in with gusto, chewing messily and chattering on between bites about what he’s going to show her and what they’re going to play.

“She can see my _eez_!” Shippo exclaims, wriggling dangerously in his seat with excitement.

“Easel,” Inuyasha corrects gently, pushing his kid’s plate a little closer. The rice is literally falling all over the table. It’s fine though, as long as most of it ends up in Shippo’s stomach.

“Ease- _l_ ,” Shippo repeats dutifully. “I can make another picture!”

“You can,” he agrees, grabbing his own dinner. Maybe there’s a chance they’ll finish before Kagome even comes. “She’ll probably put it on her fridge.”

“She needs more pictures,” Shippo agrees solemnly, nodding. He looks at his fox and beams at it. Inuyasha imagines it probably said something smart. He wouldn’t know. Apparently he lacks a vivid imagination.

“Yasha, you should do one too,” his kid announces suddenly. “Kagome will love it!”

“Probably not as much as she’d like one from you,” he answers, only half paying attention. He’s just taken his first bite of food and he can’t tell if it’s far too bland or just bad. Or good? When food is bland, can it truly be one or the other?

“But you too!” Shippo protests. “Then she’ll have _three_.”

Inuyasha frowns. “Three?”

“Three pictures!” Shippo wails, and that is definitely annoyance in his tone. Oh, yeah. There’s that look again.

“Okay, okay,” Inuyasha reassures him. “We’ll see, okay? Maybe you do so many pictures she won’t need one from me.”

“ _No_ ,” Shippo pouts. “She needs one from you!”

This is turning into a _thing._ Inuyasha can already tell. His tiny jaw is firm, eyes narrowed, and he’s clutching his fork like he’s ready to impale the table with it. This is how his pre-school whining starts, when he desperately doesn’t want to go. Inuyasha sighs, knowing he has a choice but seriously, no actual options. Either his kid eats or doesn’t, and since Kagome’s about to come over he needs all the leverage he can get.

“Okay, how about this?” he bargains. “I’ll draw her a picture—” Shippo cheers. “ _Only_ if you finishing eating _all_ of your food.” Shippo’s barely listening. Inuyasha repeats himself for good measure. “All of your food, Shippo. Okay?”

“Okay!”

He starts shovelling it in so fast that Inuyasha yelps and reaches for his arm, slowing him. “Chew your food, my god you’re going to choke.”

Shippo makes a face at him but relents.

There are maybe three forkfuls left when his cell phone goes off, requesting door entry. Inuyasha gives it, eyeing Shippo but it’s clearly too late. The kid knows what it means and he’s already struggling to get out of his seat, food long forgotten.

Well. It could have gone worse. He ate most of it and he didn’t even complain. Not once. That has to be a check in the ‘I Did Well’ column. His Parent Approval Rating goes up. Inuyasha still has no clue where it’s at, so he just assumes it’s seventy and prays the percentage remains that way.

Kagome knocks a few minutes later and Shippo squeals as he opens the door. The entryway is pretty small, but he manages to get her inside while his four year old runs between their legs like a cat. In the end, it’s better for him to step back so Kagome can crouch down for a hug, which she does immediately. There’s a look on her face, and it’s both familiar and unfamiliar to him. A nagging sensation like déjà vu, only it’s been thirteen years and things change. This could be one of those things.

“Hi! I’m so sorry to just come over,” she says, still looking at Shippo. “Are you eating dinner?”

“Nope, I’m done,” he tells her proudly, grinning. “I have so many toys that we can play with! Come on,” he says, grabbing her hands. “I can show you!”

“He ate so fast when he found out,” Inuyasha explains, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, that’s cute.” Kagome stands up then, briefly touching his arm as Shippo drags her further into the apartment. “I like your place.”

“It’s a disaster,” Inuyasha says, because it is. There isn’t even a point in cleaning, really, not until Shippo passes out. “Sorry.”

“I came over unannounced, you can’t be sorry.” She gives him a stern look, coincidentally matching Shippo who’s doing the same thing to him. Only his look is because Inuyasha is taking away Kagome’s attention.

“What’s that for?” Inuyasha asks him anyways. “Fine, give her a tour. Just show her more than your bedroom!”

He doesn’t, but that’s okay. Shippo points out literally every single thing that he owns and Kagome is obviously pleased by it. She sits on his floor, asking questions and petting the appropriate stuffed animal that makes its way over to her. When Shippo shows her his collection of DUPLO bricks, and all of the very cool worlds he has made, Kagome looks up at Inuyasha in shock.

“Did you help?”

Inuyasha shakes his head. “Not even a little. I’m not allowed to touch them, unless he gives me a piece. I tend to break things.”

“You do,” Shippo agrees, before frowning. “But you don’t mean to?”

He sighs. “No.”

It only makes Kagome laugh.

Somehow, they end up in the living room. Inuyasha puts the television on for background noise, but Shippo has brought out his favourite toys to play with, including the giant brick castle he made. Inuyasha is assigned to pretend-car duty, while Shippo plays with the characters and some of his action figures. Kagome, of course, gets to play the part of the animals. Inuyasha thinks it’s unfair for all of five seconds until Shippo demands that she makes the noises properly.

“Acting school never prepared me for this,” she comments lightly before doing her best impression of a horse.

It’s significantly better than anything Inuyasha could attempt.

With his very small role in what is clearly some sort of epic superhero fantasy battle, Inuyasha mostly gets to watch while Shippo and Kagome play. He’s startled to realize, part way through, that Kagome is clearly having a good time. She’s joking around with Shippo, going along with his outlandish ideas at every turn. Inuyasha does the same thing, but he’s never seen someone else as passionate. Even Jinenji, bless his soul, starts to get overwhelmed at a certain point; terrified like he’s going to make a mistake at any second that he can’t come back from. But Kagome just rolls with the punches and changes as Shippo suggests.

_Artwork by[Mamabearcat](https://mamabearcatfanart.tumblr.com/)_

“Oh no!” Kagome cries out, voice high-pitched and overly dramatic. “There’s a dog chasing me!”

Shippo’s action figure jumps in front of the horse. “I will save you!”

“Neigh,” Kagome responds, face breaking into a smile. Her dark eyes meet Inuyasha’s gaze then, fond and knowing, and he has to swallow back the first fifty things that cross his mind.

“How about,” Inuyasha starts, quickly checking the time, “we watch a movie, huh? It’s getting late.”

Instantly, Shippo flashes those big eyes at him. They aren’t teary, but he can read between the creases on the young kid’s face. There’s a tantrum on the horizon.

“How about this: instead of bedtime, you can stay up extra late and watch a movie with Kagome,” Inuyasha explains, poking his cheek. Normally, this would be bath time, but Inuyasha already knows that’s a battle he’d lose instantly. “Just this once though, okay? And we’ll have to keep it a secret!”

Shippo frowns at him, clutching his toy in his hands. “Why?”

“Why?” Inuyasha asks, looking at him all shocked. “Because good boys go to bed on time, right? Isn’t that what Ms. Orikasa says?” Nazuna probably says nothing of the sort, but Inuyasha will do whatever it takes. Shippo keeps staring at him though, so not all hope is yet lost. “But tonight is extra special because Kagome’s here so you can stay up late but you can’t tell _anyone_ , okay?”

Shippo considers this while Kagome raises an eyebrow at him. He ignores her because he is a single dad and he knows the best way to bribe his son is through duplicitous means when the occasion calls for it. Besides, Inuyasha is smarter than he looks.

“Okay,” Shippo agrees finally. “But can I pick the movie?”

“Of course you can,” Kagome promises, smiling.

“So why don’t we put your pajamas on, huh?” Inuyasha slowly gets off the floor – which, fuck, _ow,_ he is getting way too old for this – to lead him away. “Why don’t you show Kagome which ones are your favourite?” He’s like ninety percent sure his fox pjs are washed and clean. If not, Inuyasha has fucked himself so royally. Working off of hopeful percentages is basically fatherhood in a nutshell though, so.

When Shippo is finally ready – pajamas on, stuffed fox in hand, teeth and hair brushed – Kagome is waiting patiently on the couch. She’s scrolling through her phone but dutifully puts it away when they enter, smiling. “Do you know what movie you want to watch?”

It’s an animated movie, one of the newer ones that is actually vaguely entertaining for adults and extremely amusing for kids. Inuyasha is pretty sure Shippo only understands like half of it, but he loves it anyway because there is – of course – a fox in it. Inuyasha sets the movie to stream and turns back around, only to see that instead of Shippo’s usual spot for movies, he’s all cuddled up to Kagome’s side, animatedly talking to her about his favourite parts like they’re not just about to see it.

“No spoilers!” Inuyasha exclaims, smirking at his kid’s taken aback expression.

“Right,” he says solemnly, looking at Kagome like he’s providing her a secret to the world. “No spoils.”

Kagome bites her lip, smile still breaking through as the opening music starts to play.

As predicted, Shippo passes out within twenty minutes. Inuyasha smiles smugly at his four year old, pleased with himself.

“You planned this, didn’t you?” Kagome asks, grinning.

Inuyasha shrugs, not answering even though it’s obvious. “Shippo would’ve cried himself to sleep if I made him go to bed while you were here. This was just the path of least resistance.”

“And you said you weren’t smart,” she replies, eyebrow raised again.

“Well not compared to you. Our grades in school proved _that_.”

Kagome scoffs as Inuyasha turns off the movie. He leaves some show on in the background though, getting up to gently pry his sleeping son from Kagome’s side. There’s a moment where her hands reach out, like she’s about to help support Shippo, but she pulls back at the last second. It’s not enough to miss but when Inuyasha tries to look at her, Kagome is very studiously watching the television instead.

Shippo whines a little but he’s completely out, the excitement of the evening too much. Inuyasha rubs his back instinctively and waits. Funny enough, he remembers this: he remembers when they were in high school and Inuyasha was having a hard time with his words. Not because he couldn’t speak, but because what he’d say if it came out would be too much or too mean. It was better, he learned, to not say anything at all. Kagome never let him get away with it, not when she stood her ground beside him and just…waited.

Funny, how things come back like that.

It takes a few seconds, but eventually Kagome faces him with a smile on her face. It doesn’t reach her eyes. “I guess I should leave, huh?”

“No,” Inuyasha says immediately, overly loud. Shippo stirs a little and he winces at the mistake. “I mean, not unless you need to. I’m usually up for a bit.” He wants to say something else and it’s on the tip of his tongue. The words get stuck though, like they always seem to do around her.

Kagome watches him for a moment before her smile goes from fake to genuine, as big as he remembers from when they were teens. It rivals Shippo’s in brightness. “I don’t have anywhere to be. I can stay a while.”

“We can talk about things _other_ than foxes or bad guys.”

“Or horses that need saving.”

Inuyasha smirks and gestures towards Shippo’s bedroom. “Give me a minute?” When she nods, he disappears, the familiarity of routine taking over. It’s not the first time he’s had to bribe Shippo this way and he very much doubts it’ll be the last. He’s just waiting for the day that the kid catches on, or he finally is able to keep his eyes open for the entirety of the movie.

That’ll probably be a really, really sad day for him.

Shippo doesn’t even stir as he lowers him gently into his bed. It’s automatic to tuck him under the covers, hands pushing through the wild red hair to sweep loose strands from his face. Shippo doesn’t want to cut it but he’s pretty sure Inuyasha is going to have to beg for a trim, at least, sometime soon. Otherwise the park parents may get even more nosey than they usually are.

Or Sesshomaru will give him that look again.

With a sigh, Inuyasha presses a kiss to his forehead and leaves, making sure to very nearly close the door. It feels weird, knowing that he’s not just going to lay on the couch and veg out. In fact, the couch is now the most interesting place to be because Kagome’s on it. Kagome’s there and waiting, feet curled underneath her. She’s staring idly at the television, instantly distracted the moment he comes back in.

It makes him want to smile. He swallows it down.

“Hey,” he says, and—Wow. Could he be any weirder?

But Kagome just smiles at him, and it feels knowing even if it isn’t. “Hey. Shippo okay?”

“Yeah, he’s completely dead to the world. Too much excitement.” He raises a brow at her. “I wonder why.”

“I didn’t know I had this effect on kids, I swear,” she says, laughing. “I don’t even really know anyone with kids.”

Inuyasha snorts. “Well, whatever it is you do, it works on Shippo. If he didn’t run up to you in the coffee shop, there’s no way I would have noticed. We were already so late.” He sits back down on the couch in the exact same spot he was before. The distance seems closer, even though it should feel further away now that Shippo’s no longer in the middle. He pushes the dumb thought to the back of his mind. “Did you, uh, want something to drink?”

Did he even _have_ anything to drink? Inuyasha is beyond hopeless.

Kagome must see the underlying panic because she laughs and shakes her head. “I’ve still got work tomorrow and it’s an early one. It’s also one _those_ scenes, so.”

Inuyasha has no idea what that even means. He glances at the clock and winces. It’s not incredibly late, but he knows her early hours are sometimes before six. That doesn’t leave a ton of time. “Are you sure you don’t have to go?”

“No,” she replies instantly, easily. That smile is still there and it’s making the stupid feelings come back up again, like a vicious swarm of butterflies.

Butterflies? No. Wasps. Pointy, stabbing, horrible things that sting and make you wince and shit.

Inuyasha needs his brain to _shut up_ , please and fucking thank you.

“I probably would have noticed you, I think,” Kagome says then, blessedly distracting him. “I mean, you don’t exactly blend in.”

Frowning, Inuyasha waves a hand at himself, at the long black hair and dark eyes and pretty average build. He’s maybe even approached something that’s less young-and-hot-and-available and more dad-bod-in-waiting. Inuyasha doesn’t really look in the mirror anymore unless it’s to yell at himself for his declining Parent Approval Rating. “I’m pretty sure I do, but thanks,” he replies, rolling his eyes. “Shippo, though. Shippo sticks out.”

“He’s like a ball of sunshine,” Kagome says immediately, making Inuyasha groan. “What? He is!”

“To _you_ ,” Inuyasha murmurs, shooting her an incredulous look. “You’re not here when he loses his mind over what pajamas he’s wearing. Trust me, it happens a lot.”

“Really?” Kagome grins. “His pajamas?”

“He loves this book. There’s a llama in pajamas. Pajamas aren’t even a part of the story really it just rhymes. I don’t know. It’s a kid’s book.” Inuyasha huffs. “The point is that Shippo is more like a fiery explosion than a ball of sunshine.”

Kagome wiggles her hands a little, see-sawing as she considers. “Kind of the same thing? One could argue.”

“Yeah? Well argue with me about it when he’s having a tantrum over going to school. Or his shoes. Or not leaving his toys out during their epic battle, I swear—”

“Oh, those photos were so _cute_ though!” Kagome coos instantly, sending heat radiating through every part of Inuyasha’s body. Forget Shippo being a ball of sunshine; Kagome’s right here. It’s humiliating how easily he’s drawn into her light. “Miroku _lives_ for them. He and Sango have been arguing about kids for like, a year now, apparently. He’s been asking her for them since before they were dating.”

Inuyasha grimaces. “What?”

Kagome waves her hand. “It’s a thing.”

Actors and celebrities and set people were _weird_. “Sure.”

That makes her laugh again and this is—It’s so easy. Why is it so easy? How, after thirteen years, are they able to pick this up again like there was nothing behind them? There had to be more, hadn’t there? Inuyasha can hear the alarms in the back of his mind, the chanting thoughts of what she did for a living, and how that would impact not just him but Shippo. It isn’t this easy. It isn’t.

But this is nice, if nothing else.

Inuyasha sinks deeper into the couch. His eyes automatically go to the television but he doesn’t recognize the show at all. Probably for the best. He twists until he can look at Kagome again, seeing that unwavering dark gaze on him. Welp, there are those fucking asshole butterfly wasps again. “Do you like what you do?”

“Like, acting?” Kagome asks.

“Yeah.”

“I do.” She shrugs. “It’s a weird profession. I didn’t seriously think it was something I was going to do, you know? I was a bit late to the whole drama club thing. But after we left—” She pauses, flicks him with a glance before sighing. “Well, I needed something to distract me.”

“You don’t have to avoid it, you know,” Inuyasha tells her. He could probably say it a little nicer, but he doesn’t mean it in a bad way anyways. It’s just… Why tiptoe around it? “I wasn’t—” He waves his hand around. There was a word on the tip of this tongue but it’s gone now. What could he even say? _I wasn’t devastated_. Well, he kind of was. Not that he’d admit it. _I wasn’t sad._ Eh, a lie. _I wasn’t losing my mind and desperate for friends_.

It only gets worse the more he thinks about it.

Kagome laughs at him again though and it makes him smirk at her. He’s never known anyone that found him as funny as her. He doesn’t even try to be, but she seems to have this version of Inuyasha inside of her mind that builds him up, that makes him something more than he is. Inuyasha isn’t sure if that’s a bad thing or not. Right now, everything feels fine.

“Okay,” she gives in. “When I left you behind.”

Inuyasha shoots her an incredulous look. “What the fuck?” he asks, incredulous. “There were a million other ways to put that!”

“You said not to tiptoe!” Kagome exclaims, voice entering territory that may wake Shippo up. He presses a finger to his lips and she instantly winces, dark brown gaze slipping towards the hallway where the bedrooms are. “Sorry.”

“He’s a pretty deep sleeper,” Inuyasha reassures her, shaking his head. “Or he’ll just come out here and then fall asleep again in five seconds. There’s a system.”

“One you know well.”

“It _has_ been a few months.”

Kagome smiles at him, but it’s not the big, massive grin of before. It’s small and private, soft in the ways Inuyasha knows her best. Misses her most. “So how did it all happen?”

“Shippo?”

She nods, and Inuyasha takes a deep breath to sort his thoughts. He hasn’t been through this conversation before, oddly. Sesshomaru was around from the beginning, as was Jinenji. Then, he was begging them to talk him out of it. He’s never had to explain to someone why he went for it in the first place.

“It felt like some kind of—” He cuts himself off and then gives her the side-eye, wondering just how much she’ll judge him. “Don’t laugh, okay?” Kagome gives him an offended glare. Well, that answers that. “It felt like a sign,” he admits slowly, hating the words even as they came. They were true. That’s probably why he hates them most of all. “Nothing was wrong with me. Nothing was missing, or I didn’t think there was. I don’t know. Shippo had escaped from the people responsible for him at the time – they were visiting some play thing, whatever – and he was just sitting on the sidewalk. I was on my phone and only realized he was there when I almost stepped on him.”

Well, that sounds really bad.

Inuyasha hurries to continue and absolutely _does not_ look at Kagome. “So I pause, right? I look at this kid and wonder what the fuck is going on. Where are his parents, all that shit. And then Shippo just glares at me like _I’m_ the annoyance between the two of us and he rolls this ball towards me.” He bites his lip then, remembering with clarity that whole epiphany thing. Stupid, that. It sounds stupid to even think about, but it really had happened. Inuyasha really had some sort of horrific flashback to this own lonely childhood. His mom had even been alive then but it was just the two of them, and she had other things to worry about no matter how much she wanted to be there.

He doesn’t say any of this, though. Some things are better kept close.

“Did you roll it back?” Kagome asks. It sounds like a throwaway comment, but he knows better. He shoots her a look.

“Obviously not. I asked him where his parents were.”

“And?”

“He just stared at me. Like I was an idiot, of course. You think Shippo gives me disapproving looks now? He was so much worse in the beginning. He was probably one of the biggest reasons I was panicking about even adopting him. I didn’t think he liked me at all.”

“So why do it, then?” Kagome asks. She twists herself on the couch, angling her body so that it’s towards him and not the television. It’s more intimate this way, closer.

Inuyasha swallows down the things he wants to say, shaking his head. “I was visiting him a lot. Or, as much as I could. The process took so long, I honestly thought even if I did it all and somehow managed to get Shippo to like me, it still wouldn’t happen.”

“I don’t think they would have let him go if they didn’t like you,” Kagome comments quietly.

Inuyasha nods, but it’s small. “They don’t tell you that, though. They’re so fucking overworked there, it’s painful. The system is so broken.” He growls a little, catching the familiar anger that he hasn’t felt since he took Shippo away permanently. “But I don’t know. There was one visit and he just…played with me. Saw me walk in and instantly came over. He tugged on my pants and asked to be held and that was—It was it.”

He doesn’t need to look at her face to know that she’s smiling. Inuyasha’s honestly not sure if he could take it right now.

“Anyways, everything finally got approved. He’s been with me for… Seven months now, I guess.”

“He’s obviously attached to you.”

Inuyasha grunts. “It doesn’t always feel that way.”

Suddenly, Kagome’s close. She’s so close that when her hand reaches out to touch his arm, they connect. Inuyasha can’t help but look at her, regardless of if he wants to. The touch is like fire. “Is this…” She licks her lips and Inuyasha suddenly stops breathing a little. “Is this strange?” she asks quietly, voice barely more than a whisper.

Inuyasha frowns because there are a couple signals happening at the moment and they all say something different. Not that he’s well-versed in signals. He’s been perpetually single for eternity for a reason. “Is what strange?”

“You know.” When he doesn’t say anything, Kagome sighs at him. “This. This…being back in each other’s lives.”

He has to shrug because nothing else seems to really fit. Inuyasha sure as hell doesn’t know. “Is it strange to you?”

“It’s…strange that it’s not.” Kagome huffs out a breath that’s filled with laughter. “But then that thought makes me feel even more strange. Because it should be, right? Weird that it seems so—” She pauses and Inuyasha stares at her, stares at the way her dark eyes are beautiful pools of warmth. Familiar and encompassing, drawing him in so deep that he doesn’t even want to struggle free. “It’s always been easy, between us.”

“Not in the beginning,” Inuyasha says, just because he has to. Because the tension is building, and it’s building to something Inuyasha desperately wants and isn’t sure he can have. “You thought I was a jerk.”

“Because you were a jerk,” she answers simply. “But then I figured you out pretty quick.”

Maybe that’s why it’s easy. No one else has ever figured him out at all, never mind with a speed that had once made his head spin. Not even Sesshomaru. Not even Jinenji.

“This should be harder,” Kagome admits then, confession and confusion in one.

Inuyasha scowls but it’s an automatic reaction. He sees the way her lips tick up in a quirk of a smile. “Why? Because you dramatically left and broke my heart? Please. Your dad had just passed away. Your mom needed help. I understood why. I never—” It was Inuyasha’s turn to cut himself off, gather his thoughts. “I was never mad.” He had been confused, because for the first time he’d been well and truly alone again. Inuyasha had thought it’d be easy because most of his life was spent alone. Sesshomaru hadn’t been company or companionship. But Kagome had steamrolled into his life and filled up spaces Inuyasha hadn’t known existed and when she left, the holes were made all the more obvious.

He isn’t lying now when he says he was never mad. He wasn’t. But it still hurt.

Telling her that she broke his heart is maybe a closer hit than he’d have liked.

Kagome groans a little before she flops forward, head pressing against his shoulder like touch between them is a normal thing. It isn’t. It shouldn’t be.

Inuyasha craves it like an addict in withdrawal. He keeps his hands unmoving, waiting, and a little bit terrified. He’s allowed to feel that way. He’s a father: everything terrifies him now.

“I’m insanely glad for Shippo then,” Kagome whispers and it’s another confession into the sleeves of his cotton t-shirt. “If he hadn’t gotten my attention, who knows.”

“Who knows,” he echoes.

Slowly, Kagome sits back up. It’s torturous because she’s so close and she’s not leaning back. She’s not going away like she should be, back into her space further away on the couch. There is a bubble and she’s broken inside of it and Inuyasha wants to kiss her and consume her and beg her to leave, just in case.

She bites her lip and stares at him.

She’s still not leaving and his resolve crumbles like breadcrumbs, smashed and spread by hammers and wind. Does that even make sense? It doesn’t, does it? No, no, _no_ but what does it even matter when—

His hands move and suddenly she’s there, no more space between them. His lips are on hers and there’s nothing chaste about this, nothing calm and reverent or even beautiful. It’s desperate, desperate in the way he licks into her mouth and swallows down the sound of her sighing. It’s desperate in the way his hands tug her closer, one in her hair and the other on her back, pulling and pulling and _pulling_ until she crawls into his lap. It’s desperate because he’s getting hard for her, achingly so, and even the warmth of her body against his isn’t enough.

He’s terrified and overwhelmed and he can’t stop. If he stops, he’ll unravel. The bits of him that were sticking together through sheer stubbornness and a despairing desire to not fail his son are tattering. He’s more than a father and this is the first time he’s felt that way in almost two years. He’s a man, shaking, and when Kagome makes a hitched whine as their hips roll together he freezes, the terror finally loosening the last shreds of that binding glue.

“Wait,” Inuyasha pants, pushing her back as gently as he knows how. He looks down, looks away, because if he sees her face he won’t care that he’s wrecked and ruined for her. He won’t care about anything else.

And he can’t. He can’t be that person.

“Sorry,” Kagome breathes, and she backs up slightly. She’s still on his lap but there’s space between them now, space to take in air and remember themselves.

He’s not lying even a little bit when he growls out, “Don’t be.” Inuyasha doesn’t know how he feels in this moment but he knows there isn’t a shred of regret.

Not yet, anyways.

They come down from whatever high that existed only seconds ago. Inuyasha wants to laugh but he doesn’t even do that when he’s happy. Now would only be a horrible, terrible little thing.

“Did I…get that wrong?” Kagome asks hesitantly. She asks like he wasn’t the one that pounced on her first, like he didn’t pull her in like gravity at its strongest point, a tide rolling and rolling against the shores.

“No,” Inuyasha replies honestly. “There’s no way you could have,” he adds. It feels important to say, even if he doesn’t think it makes much sense. “But I need to know—”

Why is this so hard?

“Shippo,” Kagome says.

He nods. “Shippo.”

She smiles at him, overly tender. Her hand brushes the side of his face, thumb soft against his cheekbones. It’s a lover’s touch and that’s something they’ve never been. Still, it feels real. As real as lifting Shippo into his arms and as real as falling into bed, exhausted and hoping for another good day. “You’re a good father, Inuyasha.”

He resists telling her yet again that it doesn’t always feel that way. Inuyasha’s starting to think that if so many people are promising him the news, it can’t be so fake after all. “He’s gotta come first,” he croaks out eventually.

“He does.” Kagome says this simply, like it’s fact. It _is_ fact, but Inuyasha has a hard time believing that anything in his life is this easy, is as easy as Kagome seems to make it. It should be hard, that’s what they were saying, right? None of this should be a cakewalk. None of this should be a simple exchange of words and feelings and touches and they move on.

And he knows, deep down, that they’re only in the beginning. Whatever they’re doing – wherever they’re at – there’s so much more to overcome. They just don’t see it now. The two of them are standing atop a mountain, seeing only valleys and fields and placid water below. Not the loose stones that will roll their ankles on the way down, or the poison ivy to make them itch, or the dirt to make them messy. It’s simple up here. It’s the rest of the journey that will break them.

“How about we pause,” Kagome says eventually. She’s still on his lap and Inuyasha realizes only then that his hands are still on her hips. There’s nothing possessive about it, just comforting. Inuyasha has to stop himself from letting his thumb shift against soft skin. “Take a few days to think. Regroup.”

“And what then?” Inuyasha asks because he has to. He knows himself. He knows the worries that lie within his mind. Those won’t change in the next hour, the next day, the next week.

“We lay it out on the table,” she explains, head nodding seriously. “More me than you. The good and the bad.” She winces then, slow like a creeping hurt. “It’ll be more bad, when it comes to me.”

He wants to tell her that’s not true. Inuyasha knows he can’t. But there’s something about her expression that makes him need to touch, and so he does. He sits up more and pulls her the tiniest bit closer.

They used to hug, back in high school. Not often. Not…charged, like this. But friendly things. Comforting things. An arm thrown around her shoulders while she giggled away, practically skipping to keep up. A hand on his chest when she wanted his attention, full and complete and undivided. Now, they hug as adults, as people who have grown. It feels different, and it feels the same.

When Kagome leaves, Inuyasha lets her. She gets him to smirk and pushes him to send more photos of Shippo. She adores him, Inuyasha knows. He saw it before in her expression while they played. He sees it now in her anticipation, in her desire to have more than maybe she can get.

When the front door closes and Kagome disappears, Inuyasha stands still. He breathes in and out, and doesn’t think about anything at all. This is okay, he reminds himself. This is right. One kiss is not a relationship, and one kiss isn’t going to hurt Shippo. He doesn’t know and he will never know, not unless—

Inuyasha can’t think about the other future because he’s painfully sure it isn’t possible. There isn’t a single regret in his mind though as he heads back to the living room to turn off the television, or back into the kitchen to put the dishes in the dishwasher and set it to run. He brushes his teeth, his hair, and scrubs at his face like enough soap will wipe away the feeling of her hand burning along his cheek, of her lips pressed against his.

He lies in bed and stares at the ceiling.

“What a fucking sap,” he tells himself. He tries to sleep.

He mostly fails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently I'm not creative??? At all???? I write the same thing a billion times???? I didn't even know. I didn't. I swear. Anyways, please just forgive me and let's move on and I'll be more creative next time, I promise. Clearly I HAVE A THING.
> 
> Next update: January 2, 2021
> 
> **Feedback is love.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember: in this house, we love and respect Kikyo.

Every few weeks, Inuyasha takes Shippo somewhere fun and exciting and different, because the kid has already spent four years of his life _not_ experiencing these things, and also because for the most part, Inuyasha never got the chance to do these things either. His mom had always tried, but it had been especially difficult in his first few years of his life, and the last few of hers. The loss of his father had made her life a balancing act of familial commitments and self-isolation, while her own sickness slowly killed her by the end. He remembers a few things that the two of them had done together but the memories are hazy at best.

In the end, there’s a chance Shippo won’t remember this either, but Inuyasha doesn’t care. He wants to try. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?

On a Saturday morning, bright and early, he and Shippo get ready and head towards the zoo. Inuyasha isn’t sure if he’s ever been before, but Shippo definitely hasn’t. His big green eyes get impossibly wider as he looks out the car window, face practically pressed against the glass.

“Do you know what they have here?” Inuyasha asks conversationally, trying not to get overly excited himself. He wasn’t sure if this idea would be a hit or a miss, but so far it seems to be doing well.

Shippo doesn’t even look at him. His tiny fist hits the glass. “Animals! Like lions!” Shippo exclaims.

Inuyasha nods. “They do, but they also have something else.”

This, at least, gets his kid’s attention. “Bears?”

“Something better.”

Shippo thinks on it. “Penguins?”

Inuyasha has no clue if they have penguins or not, but seriously, fuck penguins. “No! Well – maybe. But they have _foxes_ at this zoo.”

For a moment, the car is dead silent. It gives Inuyasha one heart-stopping second of panic before suddenly Shippo screams, arms up in the air and legs kicking excitedly in his seat. “They have _FOXES_! Really, Yasha? Foxes? Foxes!”

His Parent Approval Rates goes up to ninety percent – an all-time high – and now even he’s giddy. It makes him park somewhat far away, because he just wants to stop and _get there_ already. Shippo can’t stop moving, squirming and jubilant with the knowledge that soon, he’ll see his favourite animal. He almost runs off in the parking lot – giving Inuyasha a full-blown heart attack – and waits impatiently while Inuyasha grabs the backpack and checks for his wallet and phone. He feels an exasperated tug on his hand when he locks the car, Shippo staring at him with imploring eyes.

It’s not fair. His kid shouldn’t be this dangerous to his heart.

“You promise there are foxes?” Shippo asks. It’s both heartbreaking and utterly thrilling because in their time together, Inuyasha is pretty sure he’s never made his kid _this excited_ before.

“Promise,” Inuyasha tells him. He had even called the zoo to be sure. If foxes aren’t there, he’s going to incite a fucking riot.

“Then let’s go!” Shippo squeals, holding his hand tighter and attempting to drag him off.

Inuyasha laughs. He doesn’t stop even as they go through admissions, tickets already purchased and on his phone, so they burst through the front gate. There are people milling about everywhere, screaming kids and amused parents. Shippo doesn’t even care to look at anything else. He’s immediately tugging at Inuyasha’s hand, demanding to know where the foxes are.

“You want to see them first?” Inuyasha asks. The answer is obvious, but it’s funny to watch Shippo give him that _look_ again. “Fine, okay. We’ll miss the other animals though.”

“No,” the redhead answers, shaking his head. “We’ll see them again when we go back.”

“Back to the car?”

“Back to the _foxes_ ,” Shippo declares, almost huffy. “We have to see them again!”

They haven’t even seen them a first time yet. Inuyasha feels nothing but fond amusement crawling up his throat but it’s okay. It’s perfectly okay. Everything about this day is okay.

As promised, Inuyasha leads them straight to the foxes. There are only a handful of them, but some are young and playful, their fur so soft looking that Shippo tries to pat them through the glass. Inuyasha immediately takes out his phone, snapping pictures of Shippo, then the foxes, then Shippo _staring_ at the foxes. It takes far too long for Inuyasha to realize that his kid’s eyes are a bit glassy but he’s smiling big and wide.

“You okay, bud?” Inuyasha asks, crouching down and poking his cheek gently.

Shippo nods, wild and enthusiastic. He doesn’t speak but Inuyasha doesn’t need him to. This is enough.

But then, out of the blue, Shippo launches himself at Inuyasha, his tiny arms wrapping around his neck and pulling his long hair. It surprises an _oof_ out of him, his own arms coming up instinctively to hold him safe. It takes a second, and then another, to process what’s happening.

A hug. A hug is happening.

This isn’t the first time that Shippo’s hugged him, but usually it’s—it’s odd situations, or goodbyes. Times that Inuyasha normally instigates and Shippo… Well, _suffers_ isn’t the right word. Maybe _tolerates_. But this is completely different, and now Inuyasha’s eyes are glassy and fuck before being enough.

This is _too much_ and he would much rather feel this way, every day, always.

Shippo’s still staring at the foxes, his head awkwardly resting against Inuyasha’s shoulder. They stay like that for a bit and Inuyasha maybe – definitely – takes a few selfies of it just because. He needs to remember, okay? What if in an hour from now it feels like a fever dream? Like something that didn’t _actually happen_? Because that’s possible. Actually, that’s _likely_. So he needs the photos, thank you very much.

_Commissioned Artwork by[Wolfcry77](https://wolfcry77.tumblr.com/)_

Shippo twists and catches what he’s doing, but he’s four so he doesn’t think that it’s too weird. Instead, he gets excited and then yells at Inuyasha to take a selfie of them with the foxes in the background. He takes at least thirty, but Shippo’s too smitten with the tiny orange creatures to check them. Inuyasha is just happy he’s happy.

The rest of the zoo is a blur. Shippo _does_ allow Inuyasha to take him to other parts, and he’s fascinated by all of the animals he’s never seen before, or only seen in picture books. The monkeys are especially funny and Shippo watches them warily, as if waiting for some kind of attack. It doesn’t stop his kid from standing right at the bars though.

Inuyasha takes a billion photos and doesn’t even care if he’s _that_ kind of parent. Shippo asks for more pictures of the two of them, and then they take a break to eat some lunch. There’s a retail store right beside the food area – because _of course there is_ – and Shippo grins at him toothily as he points to five different stuffed animals and a play dinosaur set and asks for them. Inuyasha tells him he can only have three things, but then Shippo wants to buy _him_ three things, which ends up being the other three things that Shippo wanted in the first place.

So his kid gets six things and Inuyasha is a big fucking sap, but what else is new?

They see the foxes once more before they go. A couple of them are napping now, and Shippo pets at the glass like he can actually soothe them. It’s endearing and Inuyasha barely stops himself from opening up Google to check if you can get a domesticated fox, and if you _can_ , how much work are they?

Shippo doesn’t stop talking about the zoo. In fact, he’s so excited that he _demands_ to call Jinenji on the car ride back, just so he can tell someone all the best parts. His best friend thankfully answers – if Jinenji hadn’t, then he’d have to call Sesshomaru probably and that makes him want to die – so the last half-hour before getting home is Shippo babbling incessantly about every little thing. But mostly about the foxes.

In his tiny fists are two new fox stuffed animals. Inuyasha is the _biggest_ fucking sap.

Jinenji demands photos so once they’re happily back in their apartment, he picks a couple of the best ones to send over.

One of them is the selfie with the foxes. Both of their eyes are glassy, but Inuyasha ignores that fact in favour for Shippo’s massive smile and the dopey look of one of the foxes behind them. It’s perfect. He wants it printed immediately to go on the fridge.

_Artwork by[Mamabearcat](https://mamabearcatfanart.tumblr.com/)_

[ **Incoming Message: Jinenji** ]

_Shippo looks so happy he’s going to combust._

Inuyasha smirks.

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_He basically did._

It takes a minute or two, the “…” bubble appearing and then disappearing a few times before Jinenji’s response properly comes up.

[ **Incoming Message: Jinenji** ]

_You do, too._

There’s nothing to say to that, really. He was. He _is_. Inuyasha’s even considering buying an annual pass, just to take Shippo as often as possible. One of the other stuffed animals was of a monkey and Inuyasha is curious as to how that’s going to go.

Because it’s a Saturday, Inuyasha knows Kagome is working. She usually does but every once and a while she’ll text him. Little things, funny things. Pictures of her in costume or with her makeup artist, Miroku. They all seem to have a good time despite the long hours.

Without allowing himself to fully consider the implications as to _why_ , Inuyasha sends the same photos he sent to Jinenji to her. He doesn’t let himself think about the kiss. He doesn’t let himself think about the last time they saw each other at all. All Inuyasha allows himself is the memory of what she last demanded of him, which was pictures of Shippo. That he can do. That – he thinks – he can harmlessly, easily provide.

Immediately, a “…” bubble appears, like magic.

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_OH MY GOD MY HEART INUYASHA HOW COULD YOU_

There’s a feeling in his chest right now. It’s too full, too happy. Inuyasha knows it won’t last, but for once he doesn’t make himself immediately consider why. He wants to enjoy this. He wants to savour it.

“Yasha!” Shippo yells, bursting from his bedroom with three stuffed foxes in tow – the old one with the two new ones. “Come help me make a bed for them!”

“What do we say?” Inuyasha says automatically, even though he’s already following his kid back to the bedroom, cell phone forgotten.

Shippo beams at him. “Please!”

He’s a ginormous fucking sap but _god_ , it’s worth it.

* * *

“Okay, so don’t get mad,” Kagome starts off with. Inuyasha groans.

They’re at Kagome’s apartment on one of her rare days off. She had called him yesterday, wondering if he and Shippo had wanted to come over because it had been a while. Over two weeks, in fact, and doesn’t he know it. His kid reminds him at the oddest of times. Sometimes Inuyasha thinks that Shippo is only fleetingly in love with Kagome because his excitement levels either top the charts or barely blip on the radar. Inuyasha doesn’t try to dissuade him, but he doesn’t try to encourage it, either. He doesn’t bring Kagome up anymore, not if he can help it.

But now, in the end, they’re here. Kagome hasn’t mentioned anything about talking and he’s not going to bring it up if she doesn’t. She was right, in the end. Her stuff is the tricky part and until she’s ready to lay it all out, exactly like she said, then they’ll pretend it didn’t happen.

Inuyasha thinks he can do that.

A voice in his mind, one that sounds annoyingly like Jinenji, taunts him. _You’ve pined for thirteen years. What’s another few weeks?_

He disregards that voice. He sends Jinenji an angry-faced emoji for the emotional turmoil, and ignores his best friend when Jinenji responds back with a _???_

“So when you guys were here last time, you had to bring so many toys and I know all we did was colour but when I came to your place it was obvious I was missing stuff.” Kagome gives him a funny look. “I, uh, kind of did this on a whim.”

He doesn’t want to ask. He really doesn’t.

He doesn’t have to, in the end. They head towards the living room and the problem is obvious and colourful and—

“LEGO!” Shippo screams, running towards what is a _mountain_ of boxes of LEGO DUPLO sets.

Inuyasha closes his eyes and sighs. “What did you do?” When he opens his eyes again, Kagome is grimacing.

“It’s only half my fault,” she explains hastily. “I got really drunk and then ordered this all online.”

He blinks at her. “Who has the other half of the fault then?”

“The wine, obviously.” She knows it’s a bad answer because she runs towards Shippo, clapping her hands together. “Do you want a snack? Some carrots?”

“Sure,” Shippo chirps back. Inuyasha would bet good money that he has no idea what he just agreed to. His green eyes are completely filled with DUPLO sets and he doesn’t care about anything else. Kagome doesn’t know this though. She dances away, heading towards the kitchen. Inuyasha resigns himself to sitting on the floor the rest of the evening and joins him.

He’s halfway through opening yet another box because Shippo can’t make up his mind on what he wants to build first when the front door of the apartment bursts open, an unfamiliar voice calling out. “Kagome, have you read the script for tomorrow yet? Have you _seen_ the lines fucking Hojo has to—”

The woman pauses, having seen both Shippo and Inuyasha on the floor and no one else.

Inuyasha has no idea what to do. Shippo bashes two bricks together and cheerfully yells, “LEGO!”

“Kikyo!” Kagome appears in a sudden slide, a carrot rolling off of the plate she’s holding and falling onto the carpeted floor. “What are you doing here?” she asks. Apparently, she cares not about the carpet.

“We had a random day off,” Kikyo says slowly, and it’s only then that Inuyasha places the woman’s face. It should have been obvious, but for some reason it wasn’t. This is Kikyo Hidaka, Kagome’s co-star in their television series. Her character’s sister, the one falling in love with the bad guy, or whatever. It’s kind of strange because looking at the two of them, both in casual jeans with loose dark hair, they _look_ like sisters.

Kagome is turning pink. “Yes, I know.”

“And we usually meet to talk scenes,” Kikyo continues. She spares him a glance and then does a funny thing with her face. It could be a smile. It could be a frown. Inuyasha has no idea.

“Who are you?”

Oh shit, that’s his son. That’s his son pointedly tapping at Kikyo, Kagome’s co-star, with a big red brick and not a single care in the world. Shippo twists to Kagome then and holds his arms up, a silent demand.

“Uh,” Kagome eloquently says, and then immediately puts the plate of carrots down on the ground so that she can pick Shippo up into her arms. “Kikyo,” she starts, “meet Shippo and Inuyasha. Guys, meet Kikyo.”

Shippo bats his big green eyes at the other woman and Inuyasha only has time to stand up and raise his arms to take him before he blurts out, “Why are you here?”

“Shippo,” Inuyasha sighs. He moves easily enough into his arms, hands a little clingy on his sweater. “That’s not how we talk to people, remember?”

Shippo purses his lips and then nods. He looks back at Kikyo and holds out a hand. He keeps holding it out, even as the other woman looks at him with something akin to fear. Maybe she’s never seen a child before. Inuyasha vaguely remembers the feeling.

“He’s trying to shake your hand,” Kagome mutters, shooting Kikyo a look.

The woman visibly starts and then gives a small smile. She grasps Shippo’s tiny hand in hers and shakes it once. “Hello Shippo.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” his kid answers solemnly. Then: “Why are you here?”

Inuyasha stares up at the ceiling and tries not to laugh. “Kikyo is Kagome’s friend,” he answers. “She’s here for a visit.”

“An unexpected visit,” Kikyo agrees, looking for the first time a little chagrined. That tiny smile is still there and while Inuyasha can’t parse how real it is, she keeps it in place. “I’m sorry if I startled you.”

“That’s okay,” Shippo answers easily, twisting around to look at Kagome. “Is she going to play, too?”

“Probably not, bud,” Inuyasha says, getting his attention back with a cheek poke. “Not everyone likes to play with LEGO.”

Shippo sends a _look_ at that, aimed right for Kikyo. Kagome chokes on a laugh and Inuyasha decides that retreat needs to be immediate. “Come on, I’ll build that car with you.”

“No, let’s build the ship!” Shippo decides, and Inuyasha focuses all of his attention on distracting his son. They get the box open and he tries to follow the simple instructions while Shippo just places brick on brick without any care or consideration. As long as he’s having fun, Inuyasha thinks, while he purposefully does _not_ look in the direction of the doorway, where Kagome has dragged her co-worker. Eventually, the door opens and then a minute later Kagome returns with her place of carrots. She sits on the floor and accepts Shippo’s DUPLO duck offering with as much grace as she can muster.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Kagome tells him, sounding mortified. “I forgot to tell her I was busy and she has a key and the doorman doesn’t even question her and—”

“It’s fine,” Inuyasha says, because it is. This is only a friendly visit after a few weeks apart. There’s nothing wrong with this.

Kagome smiles at him. It’s embarrassed but it’s genuine. Inuyasha gets smacked on the leg for not paying attention well enough to Shippo’s orders, and then he’s too busy to remember why her smile is so, so dangerous.

* * *

There’s something happening.

Inuyasha frowns and it’s only when everything feels heavy that he realizes he’d been sleeping. He groans, confused, then feels a poke to his face that can only mean one thing.

Instantly, he’s opening his eyes. The room is dark, only a small swath of light coming from the plug-in nightlight in the hallway. With it, he sees Shippo’s gleaming wet eyes and his trembling lower lip.

“Hey bud,” Inuyasha murmurs softly, immediately propping himself up. “What’s wrong?”

Shippo’s not just glassy-eyed – he’s full on crying. It’s those deadly silent sobs again and Inuyasha can only watch, horrified, as his tiny frame wracks as he cries. “Can I…?”

He doesn’t even let him finish the sentence. Inuyasha is grabbing at his kid’s body, gracelessly dragging him up until Shippo’s lying on top of him. “You can stay in bed with me, okay? As long as you want.”

Shippo shakes a little but his hands fist in the t-shirt Inuyasha wore to bed. He keeps rubbing his kid’s back, every once and a while letting his fingers run through unruly hair. It hits him then that this is the first time Shippo’s woken him up in the middle of the night. At first, it worries him like it would any parent: what happened and why? Why is his kid so upset?

But then another part of him – a sad part, a knowing part, a _terrified_ part – tells him that just because it’s the first time Shippo’s woken him up, doesn’t mean it’s the first time Shippo’s cried during the night.

“What happened?” Inuyasha asks softly. If Shippo is falling asleep, or already unconscious, he doesn’t want to disturb him.

“Bad dream,” he answers, voice trembling slightly. Inuyasha keeps up the slow and steady petting across his back, in his hair. Shippo clings tighter. “I didn’t like it.”

“Bad dreams are the worst,” Inuyasha agrees solemnly. He takes a chance: “Do you get them a lot?”

There’s a long moment of silence, in which Inuyasha brushes the bangs from his face to better see him. Shippo’s staring off into the distance, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion. He shrugs and then wiggles to bury his face into Inuyasha’s neck.

“Okay, bud,” he soothes. “That’s fine. Did you want to go back to sleep? Are you tired?”

“Can I stay?” Shippo asks again, even though Inuyasha told him already that he could.

He’ll just have to repeat it, over and over and over until it sticks. “Of course you can stay. I’m not going anywhere, okay? I promised.”

He continues his gentle petting until Shippo’s no longer shaking, breaths even against his skin. Inuyasha is overheated under both him and blankets, but he isn’t going to move unless the world explodes around them. Even then, probably not. He lets his eyes close, thinking that maybe in the morning they can have something extra tasty for breakfast like waffles, when Shippo mumbles in his sleep.

“You stayed here.”

“Shippo?” Inuyasha asks in a whisper.

The child doesn’t respond, but his tiny fist clings tighter to his t-shirt. Maybe he’s awake, maybe he’s not. Either way, Inuyasha isn’t going to push it. He pauses his gentle petting only to wrap his arms tighter around him, hugging him and kissing his forehead until the feeling in his chest isn’t as threatening to overwhelm him.

He whispers his promise, again and again, until they both fall asleep for good.

* * *

“You’re late.” This is said in the same tone of voice that he uses when discussing the weather. It’s annoying.

“Five minutes,” Inuyasha retorts. He edges close enough to irritate his half-brother before viciously whispering: “Fuck off.”

“Pleasant,” Sesshomaru replies, but he gets a side-eye, which is more awareness of Inuyasha’s presence than he’d get some days if Sesshomaru was really unhappy. “What happened this time?”

“Shippo wanted a specific pair of shoes.”

“The dressing phase.”

“You did warn me,” Inuyasha mumbles, the toe of his foot kicking into the dirt. “I guess it’s good though. He feels comfortable enough to choose and not worry I’ll take something away.” He knows that this was something Rin did, apparently, for years. At first, she only wanted to wear the same thing again and again, just in case what she was used to disappeared. No matter what Sesshomaru gave her, no matter how longingly she stared at the new items, Rin stuck by what she knew.

This is progress, Inuyasha reminds himself.

Shippo is playing with one of the little kids that’s now familiar – the girl from before, Satsuki. The one he met that time they came with Jinenji. They clearly get along, running around the jungle gym and giggling. Rin is by the swings, a group of boys and girls around her while they talk animatedly about something.

“You didn’t respond to my message until late.” The statement is random, strange enough that Inuyasha blinks to make sure he didn’t imagine it before staring at his brother.

“Eh?”

Sesshomaru does the thing where he glares but doesn’t glare. He’s like a statue of distaste but Inuyasha can feel the irritation leaking out of his pores.

“We were busy,” Inuyasha says, rolling his eyes. “That’s not a crime.”

“How did Kagome come back into your life?”

This time, Inuyasha actually staggers back a little in shock. He never told Sesshomaru. He never mentioned Kagome’s name to him, not once. It had never seemed like a good idea, especially since it had been only Sesshomaru left to pick up the pieces from Kagome’s sudden departure. To put it mildly, his half-brother had done a fucking shit job of it. It was one of the main reasons they stopped talking, and that Inuyasha went out on his own the moment he was old enough to fend for himself.

“Don’t be surprised,” Sesshomaru tells him calmly. Well, everything he does is calm. This, though, seems forced. Maybe Inuyasha’s getting better at reading him with these recent years of prolonged exposure. “You knew I would find out eventually.”

_How_ , is the first demand that crosses his mind. It’s only followed by _why_ , but even Inuyasha doesn’t know why he wants to know this. Instead, he scowls. “What the fuck, Sesshomaru.”

“Language.”

“I’m going to punch you in the face, I swear to god.”

Sesshomaru breathes out, and it’s that not-quite sigh that nearly sends Inuyasha into a blinding rage. “Your photos.”

“My— You went through my _phone_?”

“No,” his half-brother replies. “You showed me photos of your recent excursions with Shippo and when you left to deal with a trouble he was having, I continued to look.”

“So you went through my phone.”

Sesshomaru purses his lips but doesn’t do a single thing more. “You’ve been out more.”

“That’s not a _bad thing_ ,” Inuyasha replies, defensive. He doesn’t even know why he’s defensive about this. He’s an adult. He can do whatever he wants. Shippo is fine and he’s being careful, okay? They only see Kagome once and a while – not all the time, not like a real couple would. Because Inuyasha and Kagome are… Well, whatever it is they are. Or maybe turning into, but they haven’t figure it out yet. And until that happens, he’s going to keep Shippo as safe and protected as he can.

“You are aware of her occupation,” Sesshomaru says. He doesn’t even have the gall to look at him. “Are you sure this is wise?”

Inuyasha opens his mouth and then shuts it again, jaw clenching so tight that his teeth ache. It’s the one thing – the _one thing_ – that has been keeping Inuyasha up late at night about. If it was just him in the picture, he wouldn’t care. A relationship with built-in constraints because of Kagome’s potential popularity wouldn’t be a problem for him. She’s not that popular, not like a lot of celebrities out there, but her star is starting to shine brighter. Inuyasha’s Google searches prove that time and again with every day that passes and every time he presses ‘enter’ with her name in the search bar.

But there’s Shippo. Shippo, who is four years old and still adapting. Shippo, who deserves a life that’s simple and easy and free from any potential negativity. Adding in Kagome is all fine and dandy when they’re indoors, but what if she grew to be more popular? What if the media caught wind of the relationship and tried to drag Inuyasha and Shippo into it?

It’s not just about him now.

Earth-shattering, mind-melting kiss or no, Inuyasha is no longer the biggest priority in his life.

The words hurt to say before they even come out. “You’re right.”

It’s Sesshomaru’s turn to whirl around, as if Inuyasha landed a physical blow to knock him aside. His eyes are as startled as he’s ever seen them. “Excuse me?”

“I’m not fucking saying it again,” Inuyasha mutters under his breath. “But Shippo is my priority. He always will be.”

That gets him a blink and then like nothing ever happened, Sesshomaru is back under that impenetrable mask of blankness. It’s eerie to watch. “Good,” he says eventually, turning back around to watch the kids. Inuyasha snorts because it’s either that or cry. The feeling only gets worse when his half-brother purses his lips once more before he says, “I know it isn’t easy.”

There’s a story there but they aren’t the kind of brothers that share. Inuyasha takes a breath and immediately finds Shippo in the park. His face is red from the cold, or maybe the exertion of running around so much. Either way, they need to head back to Sesshomaru’s for dinner.

Inuyasha goes to fetch him, calling for Rin as well. It takes a moment before Shippo pays attention to him, his giggling over something he’s doing with Satsuki taking priority until Inuyasha gets close. “Come on bud,” he says, “time for dinner!”

Usually he gets some kind of whining, or at least a sad pout. Today, Shippo frowns at him for a moment before he says a quick goodbye to Satsuki and bounds towards him. It’s the quickest his son has ever come when being asked to leave the park and it leaves Inuyasha a little stupefied.

“Is everything alright?” Inuyasha asks.

Shippo reaches his arms up to be picked up, and this too is odd. He’s getting bigger, getting older, and while there are certain times and places that he asks to be held constantly, the park is not one of them. In fact, the park is usually a _no hold_ zone. Worried, Inuyasha grunts as he lifts him to sit on his hip, brow furrowing.

“What’s wrong? Did you get hurt?”

“No,” Shippo answers, still staring at him with those big green eyes. He reaches out and pokes Inuyasha in the cheek.

“Are you sure?” he presses. Nothing about his behaviour is making any sense.

“ _Yasha_ ,” Shippo whines. “I’m fine!”

“Okay, geez,” Inuyasha says, making a face at him. “Bite my head off, why don’t you.”

That makes him smile, toothy grin coming out as his arms wrap around Inuyasha’s neck. Whatever it is that’s bothering him, Shippo seems to be fine now. Inuyasha will take it, and will make sure next time they come to watch a little closer. Sesshomaru probably won’t surprise him with so much daunting conversation next time.

* * *

Shippo gets sick on a Tuesday. He’s miserable, which means Inuyasha is miserable. He barely sleeps, which means Inuyasha doesn’t sleep _at all_. That’s really just how parenthood works.

He’s whiny and he’s clingy and Inuyasha wishes he could take the pain away. He’s wrapped up in blankets, tucked into his softest pajamas. They’re on the couch now, some animated movie playing that Inuyasha has seen three hundred times by now. It’s keeping Shippo quiet though, only the odd sniffle and whine making its way out. He’s cuddled into Inuyasha’s side and if comfort is the only thing he can do for his kid at this moment, he’s going to do it.

Jinenji is coming over with dinner later anyways. Inuyasha sent him the emergency SOS, so takeout it is. There’s laundry to do and Inuyasha desperately needs a shower, but those things can wait until his best friend is here to keep Shippo occupied. Sometimes, Inuyasha wonders just how much easier this would be with a partner but that’s never been a serious thought.

Suddenly, his phone goes off. It’s a soft vibration but it distracts him from the monotony of the movie. He’s seen it too many times. There are only so many instances in which a screaming lion is going to pleasantly surprise him. He _is_ surprised – however – when he sees that it’s a text message from Kagome. They haven’t talked since they were at her place last, when Kikyo had unexpectedly showed up. The evening had been nice, easy. Or, as easy as he allowed himself to feel. Sometimes, Inuyasha felt like he was staring at her lips. It was completely unnecessary. It was automatic though, a thought that’s passed through his mind far too much for him to resist.

But nothing had happened and that was…both relieving and terrible. Because Inuyasha wanted to talk about this, he wanted _closure_. Just— Something. Inuyasha thinks, when he’s alone at night, that maybe he’s been waiting for Kagome this whole time. It’s a romantic thought and sappy as all hell. It makes him mad, but Inuyasha isn’t stupid. He’s many things, but stupid isn’t one of them.

(Well, maybe in those desperate moments he thought he was absolutely stupid about adopting a kid when he was alone. Despite what everyone says, it still feels silly sometimes. He’ll stare at Shippo too long and it’s just… How did this happen?

Inuyasha didn’t plan for any of this. He will say these words with his last breath.)

[ **Incoming Message: Kagome** ]

_Hey! I’m in the area. Not sure if you’re available? You’re probably still working._

He would be, he thinks, if he was working today.

“Yasha?” Shippo asks, sniffly and teary-eyed. Inuyasha doesn’t understand how he can look as sad as he does.

“Yeah bud?”

“Who is that?”

Inuyasha takes his attention away from his cell phone to stare at his kid. Shippo is blinking at him sleepily. His hair is even more of a bird’s nest than usual. Inuyasha is going to have to be extra careful during bath time. “What?” he asks, a little stupefied.

Shippo points at his phone.

“Just a friend,” Inuyasha answers easily, putting it back down. He pokes his kid’s cheek. “How are you feeling, bud?”

“Okay.” He keeps such a solemn face that Inuyasha can’t tell if it’s the mask the kid always seemed to wear in the beginning, or if he is actually indifferent. “Can I talk?”

It takes him a moment to realize exactly what Shippo’s asking. “It’s not Jinenji.”

“Then who?” Shippo pushes.

Well, now he’s kind of screwed himself, hasn’t he? “Kagome,” he sighs, knowing that it’s too late when green eyes widen happily. “Did you want to message her?”

“No, call!” Shippo says, trying and making unhappy whiny sounds when his little fists can’t take anything. “I wanna say hi.”

It’s been a while, he reminds himself. There’s nothing unusual about this, from Shippo’s perspective. He hopes. Shippo may only be four years old, but he’s perceptive. Inuyasha prays to whoever is listening that he’s not fucking his kid up, please and thank you.

“Sure,” he replies, hitting her phone number and putting it on speaker. Shippo crawls up into his lap, trying to get as close as possible.

Kagome answers partway through the second ring. “Inuyasha?”

“Hey, it’s me and Shippo,” Inuyasha answers immediately. He holds himself back from wincing when Shippo shrieks his hellos into the phone. “He’s not feeling well today.”

“Oh no!” Kagome cries out, sounding devastated. Her care clearly pleases Shippo, who wiggles in Inuyasha’s lap. It’s more animated than the kid’s been all day. “That’s terrible! Are you being taken care of properly?”

Shippo nods and then takes a deep breath, as if he’s just realized she can’t see it. “Yeah! We’re watching a movie.”

“The same one as before,” Inuyasha interjects, just to tell her in a little way what his life is basically like.

“Ah.” Kagome laughs. “When I come back, we’ll have to finish watching it, I guess!”

“Okay!” Shippo cheers. “What are you doing?”

“I’m just waiting in my trailer,” Kagome tells him. “I’m at work, but there’s a big hold up so I’m bored. I wish I was watching a movie.”

“You can come here,” Shippo suggests.

Kagome makes an unhappy noise. “I wish! But I’m at work. I can’t leave or everyone is going to be sad that I went.”

Shippo sighs like the great inconvenience it is. Inuyasha rolls his eyes because of course his kid is like this. “Okay. When can I see you?”

“Soon,” Kagome answers immediately.

Suddenly, a finger pokes directly into his cheek, Shippo’s big eyes staring at him. “Yasha,” he whispers, not very well. Kagome can clearly hear them. “Do the video.”

“What video?” Inuyasha asks, confused.

His kid starts to poke at his phone then, and it takes a moment before he realizes that Shippo wants to do a video call instead. Oh.

“Uh,” Inuyasha starts, “if you want, we can see you right now? Shippo wants to do a video chat.”

“Sure,” Kagome says, warmth in her tone. “Just to let you know, I have a bunch of makeup on, okay? I look a little weird, but I promise I’m okay. It’s just makeup.”

“Bad makeup?” Inuyasha asks, because if there’s blood then Shippo will not be happy.

“No, no, I promise.” Kagome laughs then. “I just look like I haven’t slept for like…weeks.”

Inuyasha figures that that’s probably fine, switching the call to video. It takes a couple of seconds and Shippo makes a valiant effort of hitting every soft spot on Inuyasha’s body as he crawls into his lap. His unruly orange hair is in Inuyasha’s nose, tickling him, so when Kagome comes onto the screen he’s looking away, trying not to sneeze.

“Hi Kagome!” Shippo cheers, waving excitedly. Inuyasha has to corral him in, barely getting his arm there in time to stop his kid from slipping off. “Oof, I almost fell!”

“Oh no!” Kagome says exaggeratedly. “It’s good to see you. You look so tired, love.”

Inuyasha blinks, his arm wrapping even tighter around Shippo before he can stop himself. He’s staring at the screen where Kagome is making a worried face at his kid, her dark gaze assessing. The screen is almost entirely taken up by Shippo, so she can’t see Inuyasha’s expression. That’s for the best though, he thinks because—

_Because_ —

Kagome called him ‘love.’ Intentionally or not, that was—That meant—

Inuyasha swallows and shakes his head. Obviously Kagome loves Shippo. Everyone loves Shippo. Jinenji does and Nazuna does and even Sesshomaru – who basically hates everything in the world minus Rin – loves Shippo. So this shouldn’t be a surprise. _He shouldn’t be surprised_.

For some reason, it feels like a punch to the stomach anyways.

Shippo has been babbling about how he feels, his face pouting at the screen while he tugs at his hair. He sniffles grossly but smiles that big, toothy grin that makes Kagome laugh at him, cooing. Inuyasha can see what she means by the makeup; Kagome looks like she’s sleep-deprived to within an inch of her life. Her hair is a complete disaster, and her lips are chalky and pale. He wonders what she’s shooting.

“Can I see you again?” Shippo asks then. “Like tomorrow?”

Kagome pouts, and it’s clearly exaggerated for Shippo’s benefit but Inuyasha finds himself fighting a smile anyways. “I would love to tomorrow, but I can’t. I’ll still be at work!”

“You work _so much_ ,” Shippo complains, getting whiny. “Almost as much as Yasha!”

“Almost as much,” Kagome agrees, lips pressed together hard to stop herself from laughing. “You should tell Yasha to work less.”

“He didn’t work today,” Shippo chimes in. He even pokes a grubby finger at the screen, leaving a smudge and making the video options pop up. Inuyasha hurries to hide them away. “We stayed home and… And we watched movies. I made a fox with my LEGO!”

Kagome gasps, as is appropriate. Inuyasha groans as Shippo suddenly flying-leaps off of his lap, scrambling off the couch to go and get his greatest creation of all time. Not even his arm around his child could stop him.

“It’s a brown blob,” Inuyasha warns her, when Shippo has disappeared into his room. “Prepare yourself.”

“No creativity,” Kagome chides, shaking her head at him. Her smile is warm and familiar, and Inuyasha takes a moment to just stare at her face. It’s weird to think that he may miss her. It hasn’t even been that long but he does.

This is probably very, very bad.

“How are you doing?” she asks then, breaking the silence.

Inuyasha was probably making it super, super awkward. He’s an idiot. “Well, uh. Not amazing. Shippo is a terror when he’s sick.”

“He seems lively now.”

“Well _yeah_ , because you called.” Inuyasha gives her a look. “Actually, that may be for the best. Maybe he’ll pass out after.”

Shippo comes barreling into the room then, his fox LEGO model cradled in his hands. Inuyasha helps him back up onto the couch, dropping the phone momentarily because it was that or watching Shippo crush his creation which—Inuyasha can’t even properly consider just how _bad_ that would be. The waterworks would be so devastating, their apartment would flood.

“Kagome, _Kagome_ ,” Shippo repeats, over and over until Inuyasha is able to hold the phone again properly. “Look! Look at my fox!”

“Shippo, that’s an amazing fox! Did you do that all by yourself?”

“Yes!”

Inuyasha pokes his son in the cheek. “Excuse me!”

“Yasha helped,” Shippo adds, like he wasn’t about to take all the credit without breaking a sweat. “I can make you one too, with your LEGO. Can I play with it when I see you?”

“Of course,” Kagome allows, smiling. “I would love one.”

Shippo bounces and beams up at Inuyasha. Because he is a sap, and because he is a sap specifically for his child, Inuyasha can’t help but smile back. God, but he’s a mess.

Eventually, after a bit of talking, Shippo tires. He cradles his fox model in the crook of his arm and buries himself into Inuyasha’s chest. He keeps randomly waving at Kagome, who chats about what she’s doing at work. They’re finishing up the season, apparently, so a lot is going on. A few times, she pauses. Someone knocks on her trailer door and murmurs a few things that mean absolutely nothing to Inuyasha. Every time though, Kagome comes back and continues chatting, like it’s no bother at all. Like she has nothing better to do at work.

Maybe she doesn’t. Inuyasha has no idea how these things work.

Kagome stares for a moment during a lull in the conversation. Her smile is slow and soft. “Hey,” she murmurs, almost a whisper. “Is Shippo sleeping?”

Inuyasha has been stroking his son’s hair and back the entire time, a soothing gesture that’s probably more for him than his kid. He pauses to look down and yeah, absolutely. Shippo is completely knocked out, his tiny mouth open and fists curled protectively around his fox.

“That can’t be comfortable,” he says, smirking. “LEGO can’t be comfortable to cuddle.”

“He clearly loves it a lot.”

“Foxes are his thing,” Inuyasha explains. “You saw the photos.”

“Oh my god,” Kagome whines. “Don’t remind me. His little face. He’s so precious.”

_She called him ‘love.’_ Inuyasha swallows. They really need to talk.

As if Kagome can read his mind, she bites her lip and looks at him contemplatively through the screen. He likes to think that even after all this time, she can read him so well. As well as she did in high school, at least. Maybe better now, even though that doesn’t make any sense. Thirteen years apart has to do some kind of damage, doesn’t it? Some kind of mark has to be left. “I know…” She trails off, dark brown gaze flitting to the side. “I know we haven’t talked yet,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” he tells her. It is and it isn’t. Inuyasha isn’t sure what to believe in that moment, so his words are as true as they can be. “I just don’t want Shippo to get…attached. If we’re friends, then that’s fine. If we’re—” _More_ , he wants to say. _Together_ , he’s desperate to finish. He doesn’t say any of that. “He might eventually ask questions and I need to be able to answer. I—I should talk to him about it, properly.”

“He’s the number one priority,” Kagome confirms, nodding decisively. It makes the ache in his chest lessen, if only slightly. “You’re totally right. Inuyasha, you make the rules, okay? It’s whatever you decide for Shippo, always. _Always_.” He nods because there aren’t any words that will encompass everything he wants to declare. Maybe Kagome sees it anyways. She smiles at him again. “The reason we haven’t is because I spoke to my manager about it, about…the possibility of us. I mentioned Shippo because he’s the priority, like you said. I—I want him to be the priority.”

“That’s good,” he croaks out. Why does he sound like this? Why is he emotional? God, is he getting sick too? Inuyasha would honestly rather die. Maybe he can pretend his phone is failing and he can disappear off video chat. It seems too much. This all seems too much.

“Well, it is but it also isn’t,” Kagome admits. “My manager thought it would be best to wait until we’re further into the season, until we know exactly what’s happening with the show. I told you that I’m getting more work, which is good, but it’s also bad sometimes. With the media and requests for interviews and stuff. If we get together during the peak of craziness, or before, there’s more risk. I just…want to know what the risk would look like. Only so that you can decide with all the facts. All the bad, out on the table.”

Kagome gives him a tremulous smile but it’s still genuine, it’s still just for him.

Inuyasha nods. “We can do that.”

“It’ll be another couple of months,” she warns, trying to sound stern. Her grin slips then, turns into something serious. “I’d get if you don’t want to wait. I’d get if something else happens or—”

“No,” Inuyasha says then, interrupting because there’s _no other option_. “No, Kagome. Of course I’d wait.”

There’s a moment where she’s quiet, contemplative. Her voice, when she does speak, sounds meek. “Really?”

He rolls his eyes. “Obviously.”

“We can still be friends,” Kagome adds in quickly. “Like we can get together every once and a while. Not too often just…when you think is okay.”

“Like we’re doing now,” Inuyasha points out and is rewarded with another Kagome smile.

“Exactly.”

Inuyasha bites his lip to stop himself from doing anything embarrassing, like grinning back. “Exactly.”

There’s a long second where Kagome beams at him, and then her whole face changes, lighting up. “Oh! I forgot. Miroku is going to kill me if I don’t tell you. Look, it’s totally up to you, okay? No pressure.”

“Why does that sound like a bad thing?” Inuyasha asks.

At least she laughs and doesn’t seem offended. “Okay, I didn’t start that off well. You know Miroku? My stylist for the show?”

“Y-Yes?” The word is drawn out, confused-sounding. He’s _heard_ of Miroku, certainly, in text messages. Kagome’s sent one or two blurry selfies of the two of them.

“Well, long story short, he won a bet and one of his really good friends who is, like, a real A-list celebrity is hosting his birthday party. And I mean, like, _a party_. But a party in like the fun sense! Not that many people. It’s mostly close family and friends,” Kagome adds quickly. “Miroku’s inviting his entire family and a big part of our cast. There will be a ton of kids and a whole area dedicated to them. We’re talking, like, petting zoos and craft tables and a bunch of stuff.”

“And Miroku…wants this?” Inuyasha asks.

“Yes,” she answers firmly. “It’s going to be super secure. The house it’s at is in a gated community, and there’s a gate to even get to the house itself. No one will be there that’s going to spread any news or gossip. There are tons of phone rules and—” She cuts herself off, looking embarrassed. “Okay, so the point is that Miroku asked me to ask you.”

Inuyasha blinks at her. “Me?”

“Yes. And Shippo.”

That seems strange. “Are you sure?”

Kagome makes a face. “Well, I’ll give you the full disclosure so you get what’s happening.”

“Probably for the best.”

“Yeah.” Kagome sighs. “Okay, so you know how I mentioned that Miroku’s been wanting kids for a while now?”

Inuyasha blinks. Maybe? Probably? Sounds…not _un_ familiar. “Sure.”

“Okay, well, this bet is kind of helping his cause. He wanted to have a big, blowout thirtieth and he’s purposefully invited families and kids because he wants to show Sango how much he wants that.” She pauses, but Inuyasha can see the tips of lips curving, like she’s holding back a smile and can’t help herself. “I’ve been showing him pictures of Shippo. It was accidental at first but he, you know, thinks he’s adorable.”

“Well, he is,” Inuyasha declares.

Kagome full-on beams. “He is. So Miroku really wants you to come because he wants to use Shippo to make Sango into a puddle of goo in wanting to have babies with him.”

That… “I feel like there’s a bunch to unpack there.”

Laughing, Kagome briefly disappears from the screen, shoulders shaking. “Okay, okay,” she breathes, hiccupping a little. “You’re right, I know. But it’s not weird, I swear. Miroku has always wanted a family and Sango does too. She’s just been hesitant to start it now and she won’t have the conversation with him and he wants to just…get that conversation going.”

“And Miroku wants to use my son to generate that conversation.”

“Exactly! Come on,” Kagome wheedles. “Can you honestly tell me that Miroku holding Shippo and cooing at him _isn’t_ going to turn any person into a mushy puddle of goo for kids?”

Inuyasha frowns. “I don’t think that makes any sense.”

“Probably not. I’ve been working for like fifteen hours straight and I’m honestly going to pass out. This makeup isn’t as intense as you think it is. I honestly did the makeup artists a favour.”

Okay. Okay then.

“You don’t have to,” Kagome repeats softly, smiling at him. “You really don’t. Or, you can come and not bring Shippo, if you’re more comfortable with that. But it’ll be one-hundred percent secure and there will be tons for Shippo to do, if you decide that he can come. And if you don’t want Miroku to meet him, I can probably convince him to use someone else’s child. They won’t be as cute, but that’ll be his burden to bear.”

Inuyasha shakes his head at her. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Sleep-deprived,” Kagome corrects with a flash of a grin. There’s a knock at her trailer and then Kagome is taken away momentarily to talk about something. Inuyasha waits, his hand still idly stroking up and down Shippo’s back. He takes a peek at his son – yeah, still totally out for the count.

“Inuyasha?” Kagome says. “I’m sorry, but I have to go now.”

“I’m surprised it took this long, honestly,” Inuyasha replies, smirking. “Go. Do some actual work.”

“Wow, rude.” Kagome smiles though and waves. “Tell Shippo I said goodnight, if he wakes back up.”

“I will,” Inuyasha promises.

When the call ends, he thinks. He thinks and he thinks and he thinks. He trusts Kagome, is the thing. The fact that she called Shippo ‘love,’ whether consciously or not, shows how much she cares. She wouldn’t have invited them, he doesn’t think, if she worried about his well-being while there.

Much later, he sends a text message asking for more details. If they’re free – and who is he kidding, really, _they are always free_ – then he’ll consider it.

Or consider it _more_.

It’s fine, really.

* * *

[ **Outgoing Message** ]

_We’ll be there._


	5. Chapter 5

Holy shit.

It’s really the only thing that goes through Inuyasha’s mind as he speaks to the gate attendant. Or, really, the _first_ gate attendant. He has to show his ID and his email invitation, and then wait while the person considers what looks to be a relatively short list before waving him through.

This is a fancy ass neighbourhood. Inuyasha isn’t rich, but he’s definitely well-off. His family has always done well for itself, and as sad as it is, the life insurance from both of his parents was significant. That, combined with his shares within his father’s – now Sesshomaru’s – company, and his own job has allowed Inuyasha to live a life that he’s grateful for. Grateful in many ways, but primarily because of the ease in which it allowed him to get Shippo. There were a lot of court dates, a lot of conversations with social workers. With the financial burdens being less of a factor, the way was that slightest bit smoother.

But this. _This_.

This shit is next level.

In the backseat, Shippo is gasping. His little fists are pressed against the window, eyes taking in everything. The houses are monstrous. The lawns are immaculate. The _cars_ are just—

Inuyasha has, for the very first time, an inkling of regret for agreeing to come.

Kagome has already texted him, letting him know that she’s there and ready to meet up with him the moment he arrives. The address for the house – _mansion_ – comes up, and Inuyasha has to park and talk to yet _another attendant_ , in which he gives both his address, shows the email _and_ provides a unique password that only he can use.

Security _for real_ , apparently.

“You’re good to go, Mr. Taisho,” the attendant tells him with a smile. “Enjoy the party.”

“Thanks,” Inuyasha replies faintly, watching as the massive gates blocking the entrance to the house part like a mystical sea. The driveway is long and luxurious, fountains and gardens lining the side like some kind of extravagant fantasy land. The mansion ahead is stunning, all modern stone and elegant, pristine trim. There’s a valet, apparently, and Inuyasha tries not to twitch as the gentleman smiles winningly at him while patiently waiting for him to retrieve Shippo and all of Shippo’s things.

Kagome is already there on the front steps, waving.

“Kagome!” Shippo cheers, beyond excited. He’s wiggling so hard in Inuyasha’s grip that he overbalances, nearly dropping him.

“Holy moly, bud,” Inuyasha mutters, deciding the best course of action is to put him down. He does, and then has to quickly grab his hand so that Shippo doesn’t trip over the stairs in his excitement and smash his face against the pavement.

Kagome, seeing this, quickly runs up to them. She catches him in a hug and when he doesn’t let go of her, she picks him up. “It’s so good to see you,” she says, hugging him again. “And you too, Inuyasha.”

“Sir,” the valet interrupts kindly.

Inuyasha blinks at him and then realizes—Oh, right. _Keys_.

The man disappears immediately, and Kagome tugs on the sleeve of his long-sleeve dress shirt. A _dress shirt_. Inuyasha is a sap and a moron and a _well-dressed_ idiot.

“I’m really glad you came. You should see the set-up. It’s insane. Kohaku went all out.”

Inuyasha frowns but follows along anyways. “Kohaku?”

“Oh, yeah, this is his place,” Kagome says easily, bringing them to the side where there’s a large gate leading to the backyard. “Kohaku Yajima? He’s throwing the party. He’s actually Sango’s younger brother, but he uses a different professional last name. She’s his manager. And mine. It’s a whole thing.”

Why is that name familiar to him? Wait—

“You mean the _Ninja_?” Inuyasha asks, blinking. “That Kohaku?”

Kagome actually grins at him, looking charmed. “Are you going to get starstruck?”

“What? _No_.” Inuyasha swallows down whatever else he was going to say. “I’m more surprised that we’re here instead of somewhere else.”

“The bet was between him and Miroku, so.” Kagome shrugs and Shippo starts to fuss to be put down. “Anyways, I know you probably read the email but no photos can be posted until _after_ the party. If anyone’s in it, you have to get approval.”

Inuyasha blinks at her. “I’m definitely not taking any pictures.”

“You say that now,” Kagome hums.

“Why, who else is here?”

Kagome laughs and shakes her head, not saying a thing. She lets herself be distracted by Shippo, who is asking about everything and anything they pass by. The different flowers, the little statutes…

And then the backyard fully opens up and it’s basically a compressed theme park.

“Oh god,” Inuyasha mutters. Kagome shares a look with him, mirrored disbelief even though she’s seen it before. There’s _everything_. Massive inflatable slides and ball pits and a petting zoo and multiple carts filled with what look like carnival-style games. “Where have you brought me?”

“It’s a festival theme.” Kagome turns to look at Shippo, who’s starting to wiggle. “Do you want to be put down?”

“Please.” Despite his politeness, he barely waits for her to do so. The moment his feet touch the ground he tries to take off, and Inuyasha has to corral him back.

“Hold on,” he warns. “You have to stay by me or Kagome today, okay? You could get lost if you run off.” Shippo looks displeased by this information, impatient to explore. He squirms where he stands, his tiny hands wrapped in Inuyasha’s palm. “You won’t run away?”

Shippo shakes his head. “No.”

“Promise?” Inuyasha asks, as sternly as he can manage. Those big green eyes are coming out and they are _lethal_.

“Promise. Please can we look?”

With a big sigh – because somehow this is bound to bite him in the ass – Inuyasha relents. Kagome is smiling down at them both, fondness in her gaze. He sees the way she looks at Shippo and it makes his chest tighten, makes the feelings return with a vengeance. Inuyasha sighs about this, too. “Where should we go first?”

“How about the slide?” Kagome suggests. “Maybe do the zoo after we eat?”

At a fancy party like this, Inuyasha is sure there are pristine washrooms everywhere but it’s a good point. Shippo gasps, delighted by the idea. He pulls away from Inuyasha to grab at Kagome’s hand and tug her away. “Come on!” he cries out. “We have to _go_.”

“What about my hand?” Inuyasha asks, incredulous. “Don’t I come too?”

Shippo sends him that look over his shoulder, all the more pointed. He doesn’t stop walking.

“Wow,” he mutters to himself. “So this is how it is.”

There’s a laugh beside him, unfamiliar. Inuyasha turns to see a face he vaguely recognizes, though he’s pretty sure he’s never met anyone other than Kagome here before. Wait, isn’t he—? “That’s usually what happens when Kagome’s involved,” the teenager says, grinning brightly. “She tends to take everyone’s attention.”

Inuyasha knows this face. Oh god. He’s seen him in a movie theatre, but not as a person in the seats. This guy has been _on the screen_. “Who did she steal from you?”

“My sister,” the guy answers ruefully, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I was the greatest thing that ever happened to her and then _bam_. Kagome came.”

Inuyasha tries to play it cool. “Sango’s your sister, right? You’re Kohaku?” The _Ninja_ , oh god, is right beside him. His co-workers would lose it if they knew. Well, they would lose it over a lot of aspects of Inuyasha’s life, so maybe that’s not the best baseline.

“Yeah.” Kohaku grins and holds out a hand. “You must be Inuyasha. I’ve heard all about you.”

That’s…weird? That’s weird, right?

Kohaku must see his expression because he laughs a little, cheeks turning red. “Sorry, was I not supposed to say that? Please don’t say that I said that. I don’t need Sango to murder me today. She’s already not happy about—” He laughs again and waves a hand at the backyard. Well, it’s more like a massive field than a backyard but. Whatever. Not the point. “All this.”

“So you’re the one that lost the bet with Miroku.”

Kohaku chokes a bit at that, and his brown eyes go wide. The flush is far worse than before. “Who told you about that?”

Inuyasha looks away, trying not to be shifty. The problem is that he’s already dug a hole for himself. He wishes then that Shippo would do something loud or dumb, to draw him away from this conversation. He looks for him and sees him chatting away happily with Kagome on the stairs, waiting in a short line for the big inflatable slide.

“You can’t leave me hanging!” Kohaku exclaims. “How did you know about the bet?”

“Uh, Kagome?” That should be obvious, right? “And I think Miroku told her? I don’t know what it was about.”

“Oh.” Kohaku coughs then and nods firmly. “Good. Well, I’m glad you could make it.”

“Thanks.” Inuyasha gives him a side glance, but the teen doesn’t leave. The two of them just stand there at the furthest end of the slide in silence. This is _not_ optimal. There has to be something they can talk about. Something that’s easy. The weather is a terrible idea. Not that. What else? His movies? Is that also weird? Fuck, Inuyasha isn’t good at this. He should have asked Kagome what okay questions he could ask if put in this situation. He should have planned better. This is _so bad_.

“How long have you known Kagome?” Kohaku asks suddenly. He leans against the temporary railing, looking for all the world like he’s totally at ease with talking to a perfect stranger. Not anything like he wants to disappear, which Inuyasha basically wants to do. Wow, he really is a good actor.

Inuyasha catches sight of her and Shippo at the top, and can’t help but smirk a little. “A long time. We went to high school together.”

“Really?” Kohaku looks intrigued. He actually leans in closer. “What was she like?”

“The same.” He shrugs, even when the teen looks a little skeptical. “Just younger. Easier to bother so that she’d yell at you.”

Kohaku raises his eyebrows at this. “Do you…try to do that a lot?”

“No.” Inuyasha hasn’t even thought of it, really. Maybe that’s maturity or some shit. Growth. Then he remembers he has a child and oh, yeah, that’s probably why. “Shippo causes enough trouble for both of us.”

There’s a shout from up top and Inuyasha grins at the way Shippo is jumping up and down, waving his arms to get his attention. From here, he looks like a little spitball of fire, red hair flying in the wind. Kagome seems to be trying to coax him onto the blanket they’re supposed to ride, but Shippo seems too delighted by the attention, wiggling more than waving.

“He’s cute,” Kohaku says suddenly.

“He’s a menace.” But the words are so fond it’s actually disgusting. “The whole reason Kagome and I actually reconnected was because he left me to go and hold her hand in a coffee shop. He didn’t even know her.”

“Figures.”

Finally, Shippo gets on the mat and Kagome looks up the sky, probably thanking whatever deity answered her prayer. It makes Inuyasha swallow a laugh, watching as she sits down behind Shippo and the two of them race down the slide. They go pretty fast – fast enough that Inuyasha immediately questions whether this was a good idea. But Shippo is squealing in absolute delight and Kagome is laughing, her arms wrapped securely around him. They get closer and closer to the barrier Inuyasha’s standing at, slowing incrementally until they stop several feet away. Shippo is laughing so hard and loud that his head is thrown back, eyes shut. He’s leaning completely against Kagome and all she’s doing is staring down at him, smiling so wide and looking so happy that Inuyasha feels himself choke up.

He coughs and shakes his head. Wow. Where did _that_ come from?

But it doesn’t go away when he looks at them again. In fact, his throat tightens a little more. He clears his throat, blinking, and was he _drugged_ when he got here? Is the air polluted with something?

“Yasha!” Shippo screams, jumping to his feet. “Did you see? Did you see?”

“You were so fast!” Inuyasha yells back.

“Let’s go again!” Shippo whirls around and grabs Kagome’s hand, tugging her before she’s even properly got her feet underneath her. His kid pauses, looks a little worried for a second and waits, staring up with big green eyes. Inuyasha knows those eyes. “Sorry, Kagome.” Damn, there’s even a lip wobble.

“It’s okay,” she promises him, ruffling his hair. “Come on, there’s no line. Let’s go now.”

“It’s cute that they’re close,” Kohaku says easily, breaking the silence. “Kagome talks about you guys all the time. Drives Sango up the wall. Not like she can do anything though because all Miroku talks about is Sango, and Kagome has to suffer through _that_ so.”

“Is Miroku here?” Inuyasha asks curiously. He remembers that Shippo is supposed to help as some part of a diabolical plan. The details are still a little fuzzy.

“Not yet.” Kohaku rolls his eyes. “Fashionably late. He’s really trying to be the diva he’s always dreamed of.”

Huh. Inuyasha’s never met him and the few stories Kagome has shared doesn’t really help him form any kind of opinion. All he knows is that Miroku thinks Shippo is cute and that he’s a good friend and fun to talk to while stuck in the chair for an eternity for hair and makeup.

He hears Shippo whoop again, loud and wild. He’s not even pretending to hold the blanket anymore, but Kagome’s got him as securely as she did before, the two of them racing down. They stop pretty much in the same place, Shippo practically vibrating as he gets up and runs over.

“Yasha, did you see?”

“Yes,” he replies, smirking down at him. “Did you have fun?”

“ _Yes_. Can we check out the zoo? Please?”

“We were going to do that after dinner,” Inuyasha reminds him gently. “But there are tons of games we can check out.”

“There’s a basket game I think you’d be really good at,” Kohaku cuts in, leaning down to smile happily. “You look like you’re good at throwing.”

Shippo eyes him a little warily, but once he looks at Inuyasha and sees how close they are, he scuffs his feet against the mat a little shyly. “I don’t know.”

“You’re very good at throwing,” Inuyasha tells him. Kagome steps up to their little group just in time, her hand carding through Shippo’s windswept hair. He sighs. “I should have brought a brush.”

“Ah, no, Yasha,” Shippo groans, covering his head. “Not now! We have to play the games.”

Inuyasha pushes himself over the half-wall to rub at his hair, just to watch as Shippo laughs and squirms away. “Okay, come on over here. We’ll go find something to play.”

Shippo grabs Kagome’s hand and immediately drags her. She just goes with it, not even a little bit irritated. In fact, she looks like this is the best thing that’s ever happened to her. She doesn’t even pull away when Kohaku comes over to give her a hug, laughing off something he’s said with a wave of her free hand.

Inuyasha goes over to scoop up his son, poking him in the cheek to distract him from the loss of Kagome’s hand. “You know you can’t monopolize her all day, right?”

Shippo gives him a confused frown. “Monop-ize?”

“Monopolize,” Inuyasha repeats, a little slower. “It means to keep Kagome all to yourself.”

“Oh.” He ponders this for a second and then frowns even harder. “Why not?”

“She has to talk to her friends.”

“But _I’m_ her friend.”

“So am I.”

Shippo nods like this is obvious. “We’re both her friends.”

“She has more friends than just us,” Inuyasha reminds him gently, bouncing him slightly to readjust the weight on his hip. Shippo is really getting too big for this. “Kagome can talk to other friends, too.”

“But mostly me.”

Inuyasha sighs. “No.”

“ _And_ you,” Shippo adds, smiling at his own genius.

Time for the big guns. “Do you see all the people here?” He whirls them around in a slow circle, letting his son take a good look around. There _are_ quite a lot of people, though maybe not as many as he expected, considering how elaborate the set up is. Kagome had said it would be pretty small but honestly? It seems unbelievable after all this. “All of these people are also Kagome’s friends.”

Maybe a lie but whatever. He’s trying to teach an important life lesson on sharing and whatever. White lies can be taught when he’s, like, a tween and already causing absolute havoc on Inuyasha’s mental stability.

Shippo, of course, looks skeptical. “All of them?”

“All of them.”

“Oh.” They finally get to the area where a bunch of little games are set up, but Shippo’s still looking like he’s trying to parse through a puzzle, mouth pursed in a tiny little frown. “Can she still play with me though?”

“Of course she will,” Inuyasha promises, nodding. “But if she goes away to talk to other friends, you’ll just have to play with me. Okay?”

Shippo eyes him. “We always play.”

“And what?” Inuyasha asks, mock incredulous. Well, maybe not so mocking. He’s actually a little offended. “I’m not good enough anymore?”

Those big eyes widen. “No! I didn’t say that!”

“Nope, that’s what you meant.” Inuyasha sighs dramatically. “My own son hurt my feelings. I’ll never recover.”

“No!” Shippo whines out, hands loosening around his neck to pat at his cheeks. “No, Yasha! We can play!”

“But you said Kagome is better.” Inuyasha looks at him sternly.

“No!” Shippo goes straight to poking at his cheek now. “No, you’re better!”

“Ah ha! You said it!” Inuyasha crows, swinging them both around until Shippo is giggling and pliant in his arms. Even when he puts him down and they go towards the games where a few others are standing, Shippo doesn’t even hide behind his legs. He’s curious, staring at the different options to see what the point of them is.

“Here,” Kohaku calls, waving them over. Shippo takes Inuyasha’s hand but he walks over easily enough, heading towards a little set-up clearly meant for younger kids. It’s a more basic version of some of the other games around, little toys hanging from the back of a cart as prizes to be won.

Seriously. _Prizes to be won_ at a birthday party.

God. Inuyasha isn’t sure if he’s horrified or impressed or grossed out or _all of that combined_. Shippo better not know this is a birthday party or he’ll have wildly different expectations.

He and Shippo play, which is mostly him cheering his son on while Shippo tries to get certain objects into a variety of nearby baskets. Kagome watches, every once and a while talking to some couples who walk up to her, but mostly she focuses on them. Inuyasha warms at the attention but tries to remind himself not to rely on it. This is a party for her friend, after all.

Speaking of her friend—

As if the very thought has made the man poof into existence, there’s a delighted cheer that gets closer and closer. Inuyasha ignores it at first but soon realizes that they are, in fact, the target. And the person coming closer? He’s definitely the birthday boy.

“Oh my god, he’s perfect,” Miroku says, big blue eyes blinking at the three of them in awe. “And you are all cute as hell. This family unit is goals.”

Kagome groans. “Miroku!”

“What?” he asks, affronted. His hand even clutches at his chest like a maiden in shock. “That’s a compliment!”

“That’s not—” She huffs, clearly giving up. “Happy birthday.”

“Well, it will be soon.” Miroku grins and fully turns to stare at Inuyasha. “You are definitely as good looking as Kagome said you were. Well, that and from the pictures.”

“ _Miroku_ ,” Kagome whines, scandalized.

“What? I’m suppose to call him ugly? Look at his cheekbones. He’s like a makeup artist’s dream.” He grins then and holds out a hand. “Thanks for coming to the party. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Uh, you too,” Inuyasha replies, standing up to shake his hand. “Happy birthday and, uh, thanks for the invite.”

“No problem.” He shrugs, gesturing around. “You only turn thirty once so might as well go all out. Did Kagome share the plan with you?”

Inuyasha blinks. Well, Miroku clearly doesn’t beat around the bush. “You mean the plan to use my son to make your wife want kids?”

Miroku looks wounded again. “When you say it like that, it sounds bad.” Inuyasha stares at him, completely unsure of what to do. “I’m not trying to _force her_. It’s just—” He sighs. “I’m trying to speed up the process.”

“Of having a baby.”

“Making a baby.” And then Miroku grins. “Well, the mechanics are _not_ the issue, let me tell you. We have that down—”

“Miroku!” Kagome hisses, turning beat red. “Can you not say something so embarrassing for five seconds? I regret this so much already.”

He waves a dismissive hand at her, still smiling at Inuyasha. “I have a plan.”

“And this plan is…?”

Kagome sighs. “Please don’t—”

“If Shippo is amenable, I’m going to play with him and coo at him, because Sango thinks I’m adorable already, so with those big green eyes and that mop of hair, I honestly can’t see how she’ll not instantly want babies on the spot.”

Inuyasha blinks and turns to look at Kagome. “Is he serious?”

“It’s a great plan,” Miroku assures him.

In no way is this a good plan. Inuyasha eyes him suspiciously but he shrugs. “The hardest thing is going to be to convince Shippo you’re okay to hang out with. If he isn’t comfortable, it’s not happening.”

Miroku nods. “Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Kagome echoes.

“Hey bud,” Inuyasha calls, squatting back down so that they’re eye level. “Did you want to meet one of Kagome’s friends?”

Shippo doesn’t pay attention to him for a solid thirty seconds while he aims and eventually tosses a soft sponge ball into a basket. Inuyasha has to poke him in the cheek. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Inuyasha sighs, resigned. He repeats the offer. “Do you want to meet a good friend of Kagome’s?”

His kid considers this for a moment before he swivels his gaze immediately to Miroku. Smartly, the man is already sitting on the grass, playing with strands of it that he ripped up from the lawn. He waves a little and smiles, somehow far more friendly looking than before. Not that he hadn’t looked friendly before. Inuyasha is very confused by this whole thing, but he trusts Kagome with Shippo.

And that’s…that’s a big deal.

“Is he the friend?” Shippo asks in a whisper, stepping closer until their faces are nearly touching.

Inuyasha nods. “That’s Miroku. It’s his party we’re at.”

Shippo frowns at this for a second. “His birthday?”

“Yes.”

For some reason, this immediately gets a smile and removes all hesitation. Shippo bounds over to where Miroku is sitting, holding out a hand. “Nice to meet you!”

Miroku, for his part, holds back the laugh that’s clearly threatening to spill. He shakes Shippo’s hand seriously. “Thanks for coming to my party.”

“How _old_ are you?” his kid asks. Inuyasha doesn’t even reprimand him. Miroku wants to use his son to inspire baby fever. Manners mean nothing anymore.

“Thirty.”

Shippo spins around to look at Inuyasha, mouth open in shock. “He’s so _old_.”

Kagome actually squeals a little before coughing, desperately trying to stop herself. Miroku gasps, offended, his hand clutching at his chest. “Shippo!” he exclaims.

“What?”

“I—” Miroku shakes his head. “I thought we were friends!”

This actually makes Shippo hesitate a little. He eyes Inuyasha quickly, checking to make sure he’s still there, before looking at Kagome. She’s still laughing, tears actually in her eyes from holding back as much as she is. This, at least, seems to confirm to Shippo that he’s not in any trouble. He beams at Miroku and saunters back over. “You’re Kagome’s friend.”

“But can we be friends?”

“Why?”

Miroku doesn’t even hesitate. The man has no shame. “Because you’re adorable and if Sango sees you, she’s going to melt.”

“I am adorable,” Shippo confirms solemnly. “Why will Sango melt?” He frowns. “Who’s Sango?”

“Sango’s my wife,” Miroku explains. “And if you can make her think you’re the _cutest kid ever_ , I will give you free haircuts for life.”

This is a bad thing to say. Shippo is instantly horrified. Inuyasha is too, honestly. Who the fuck offers free haircuts as some sort of bribe?

“I’m never getting my hair cut,” his son declares. “But you can cut Yasha’s hair.”

“Hey!” Inuyasha yells. “What kind of betrayal is this?”

Miroku laughs, big and full and enough to collapse back onto the lawn with. Shippo seems to think he’s a riot because he edges closer, toothy grin in place as he leans over the man. “Will you cut his hair?”

“Oh god, if only they knew,” Miroku gasps out, wiping at his eyes. “My services are like two hundred dollars for a trim. And I’m being bartered with by a three year old.”

“I’m _four_ ,” Shippo corrects sternly.

“Two hundred dollars?” Inuyasha asks, incredulous. He comes over and picks Shippo up. There’s a strange sensation in his chest, watching his son get so close to someone else. He doesn’t like it, and that sounds a lot like feelings which he _really_ doesn’t like. “What are you doing to my hair?”

“It has nothing to do with hair and everything to do with me,” Miroku clarifies with a shit-eating grin. He doesn’t even look repentant about the blatant thievery. “My company is highly valued.”

“I bet it is,” he grumbles.

“I’ll do it!” Shippo interjects then. He reaches out to tug at Inuyasha’s hair, toothy smile showing off just how pleased he is. “And then I can watch.”

“Watch what?” Inuyasha demands. “I’m not getting my hair cut.”

“Why not?”

“Do you not like it?”

Shippo shrugs.

This is a betrayal far worse than anything Jinenji or Sesshomaru has ever done before. Those are his only two friends so that’s pretty bad.

Ew, god. The thought of Sesshomaru as a friend. What a mistake.

“I like Inuyasha’s hair,” Kagome comments lightly, appearing at his shoulder. She, too, tugs at a strand of the dark locks, giggling when Shippo tries to pull it from her. Really, it’s only a matter of time before they pull it all out and Inuyasha is bald save for the twenty some-odd grey hairs his life has caused.

God.

“Wait.” Miroku is suddenly there too, way in their space. Inuyasha makes a face at him which goes completely unnoticed. What the fuck. “So you’ll do it?” he asks Shippo. “You’ll help me?”

His son starts to wiggle, the universal sign of wanting to be put down. Inuyasha hesitates for only a moment before doing so, feeling like this is maybe one of a billion more steps that will have to happen as Shippo grows up and needs him less and less. His kid is fucking _four_. How is this already something that’s breaking his heart?

Christ, what is with the _feelings_ today?

Shippo gingerly takes Miroku’s hand. “I want to see the animals.”

“Shippo,” Inuyasha starts because _no_. They talked about this. They were going to the petting zoo after food but—

“Sure! Of course! Anything you want,” Miroku cheers, already leading them away. God, the grown man is actually fucking skipping. Inuyasha narrows his eyes. He is _not_ responsible enough. “Say goodbye to your dad!”

“Bye Yasha!” Shippo calls out, not even bothering to look at him.

Inuyasha wants to commit a murder.

“I feel like I need to apologize,” Kagome says. He jumps, realizing that she’s still so, so close to him. Their arms are brushing. “I probably should have given a better warning about Miroku. Maybe just told you not to come.”

“It’s fine,” Inuyasha answers, not feeling that way at all. But he watches Shippo start to wander, Miroku’s hand still firmly grasped. The man actually is so startled by the change in direction that he nearly falls. It only makes him feel a tiny bit better.

Still.

_Still_.

Shippo seems happy. Shippo took the initiative to speak to someone else, just because they were Kagome’s friend. Shippo is smiling, even if it’s not his big one.

This is _progress_ and it’s good progress.

“It’s fine,” Inuyasha repeats, meaning it this time. “But I’m not letting him out of my sight.”

“I’d honestly be shocked if you did,” Kagome replies, nudging him slightly. Her hand curls around his arm and she drags him forward, laughing when Inuyasha nearly stumbles just like the idiotic Miroku did a second ago. They follow at a leisurely pace behind. Miroku does take him towards the petting zoo, but seems to steer him towards the smaller animals. It’s devious, really. When they get to a little bunny playpen, in which they can sit with the rabbits and pet them, Inuyasha nearly dies at the sight. It’s too fucking cute.

He doesn’t even like rabbits.

“So how is this even going to work?” Inuyasha asks, leaning in towards Kagome. There’s no reason for it, really. It’s not that loud outside and they’re close together. Still, it feels nice. “Sango’s not even around to see it.”

“Trust me, she sees.” Kagome gestures subtly towards an imposing looking woman who’s chatting with a group of people a few feet away. Inuyasha has no idea what they’re talking about, but it can’t be that interesting. Miroku is cooing – because of course he is – and it’s loud enough that surely his wife can hear. She keeps looking over, distracted.

Maybe Miroku’s plan is going to work after all.

“You are a ball of sunshine,” the man says, grinning down fondly at Shippo. “Now, do you remember the plan?”

“Yes,” Shippo answers, nodding. “Big eyes. Big smile.”

“And act cute.”

“I am cute,” his son corrects with, yep, that _look_.

Miroku actually blinks before chuckling. “Okay, act _super_ cute then. Remember, she has to melt.” He passes a bunny carefully into Shippo’s arms, making sure he’s holding the poor little thing correctly. Shippo keeps still, just like he does when he’s focused intently on a drawing. Inuyasha is irrationally proud.

He’s also jealous as fucking shit because he should have been the one to introduce Shippo to rabbits but whatever.

“Who let you in here?”

Inuyasha turns his head just in time to see the scary looking woman from before. She’s a few inches shorter than him but holds herself like a royal. Her back is so straight it actually hurts Inuyasha to look at it. From his left side, Kagome leans around, still clinging to him.

“Sango,” she greets, smiling. “I haven’t seen you all day.”

“I’ve been trying to control this monstrosity from getting worse,” Sango replies with a tired sigh. “Kohaku is a menace.”

“He just wants Miroku to have a good party.”

“A _menace_ ,” Sango repeats sternly. Her eyes are a stunning shade of amber brown, but amber isn’t quite right. Inuyasha gives up and looks back at his son because he’s pretty sure if he stares any longer, he’ll get stabbed of something. “Is Miroku behaving?”

“So far,” Kagome answers, gesturing towards the playpen. “He’s made a few friends.”

Sango sighs again. Inuyasha gets the feeling she does that a lot around friends. “Of course he has.” She shakes her head and then turns, and Inuyasha feels the weight of her gaze like a brand. “You must be Inuyasha.”

He nods, thinking to himself that she’s pretty good at being diplomatic if she’s saying it like that. Inuyasha knows that Kagome’s been talking to Sango about their— Whatever it is they are. Or at least, that’s what Kagome said. Sango probably hates him just for that alone. Still, the woman before him only seems politely interested, a small smile firmly in place. “It’s nice to meet you,” he greets, holding out his hand for her to shake. “Thanks so much for inviting us.”

“Honestly, I’m glad Miroku did. Kagome’s pictures didn’t do you justice.”

Beside him, Kagome groans, her forehead briefly pressing against his shoulder before she straightens in horror.

Inuyasha smirks. Maybe Sango isn’t so bad. “Thanks.”

“Seriously, don’t mention it. I have enough sleepless nights thinking about you two.” Sango winces then, glares at him, and then sighs. “Whatever. You know what I mean.”

“Probably not?”

“No,” Sango agrees. “Probably not.” Whether to avoid what the conversation has become, or because Miroku is really not being subtle anymore, she turns her attention to her husband. “What are you doing?”

“Shh,” Miroku whispers, big blue eyes wide and in full effect. “We can’t startle them, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. Inuyasha nearly chokes because he’s known Sango for all of five seconds and she’s _terrifying_. The thought of her accepting a nickname like that makes his balls want to shrivel up in fear.

Except, apparently, she’s fine with it. She doesn’t even blink. “Miroku.”

“They’re bunnies!”

Shippo moves then, a distraction, and the rabbit in his arms immediately jumps out. He gasps, overly loud, and turns enormously wide eyes to Sango. Inuyasha is impressed and…a little scared? “Did you see him?”

Sango, too, seems to be a little thrown by Shippo. He _is_ cute and this is definitely playing it up. Inuyasha wonders how his four year old child knows how to play the adults so well. “The rabbit?” As if it could be anything else.

“Yeah,” Shippo says, beaming. “So soft.” He carefully makes his way over to Miroku, who is gently putting down his own rabbit. There’s an awkward shuffle as he stands up, confused as to why Shippo is so close to him. Even Inuyasha doesn’t understand, not until Shippo holds up his arms in the universal acknowledgement of wanting _up_.

“Yeah, no.” The words come out of his mouth so fast that he’s pretty sure they simply spewed out, no forethought to be given.

Miroku actually looks a little conflicted, blue eyes helplessly watching Shippo as his kid waves his hands, demanding the attention.

“Can you pick me up, please?” Shippo asks, extra polite.

“Uh.” So much for smooth and cute. Miroku, if anything, looks like a disaster and very much not a person that should be responsible for a child. He wavers slightly before he settles his shoulders and bends down to do exactly as his kid wants.

Inuyasha has to glare at the sky. Beside him, Kagome laughs. “He’s just playing it up.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But he can feel her gaze from here, all judgemental and shit. She knows him probably as well as Jinenji does, even with the thirteen years apart. It makes him takes a breath, trying to find some weird semblance of _not jealous_ in his soul. Inuyasha never really thought of himself as a jealous person. He’s never even had to be wary of Shippo’s intentions to anyone before. The only adults he’s taken to are Kagome and Jinenji.

But he doesn’t even _know_ Miroku.

And now—

Kagome’s hand tightens on his arm as he watches Miroku approach the edge of the barrier. He’s standing there, looking only vaguely scared at the fact he’s holding Shippo, and close enough to Sango that Shippo can reach out and pat at her face.

In fact, Sango looks so stunned by the whole encounter that she’s…

“Is she blushing?” Inuyasha whispers. Because that would be insane. That would mean Miroku’s plan is actually _working_? That shit plan? He knows Shippo is cute but this is actually wild.

“One hundred percent,” Kagome replies, just as hushed. She bites at her lips to keep from laughing. Inuyasha is distracted for all of three seconds before she catches his gaze and lets them go, lets the smile take over her face. “Miroku does know her best, after all.”

“I guess.”

Kagome elbows him, but the smile hasn’t left yet.

“Oh!” Miroku says suddenly, a frantic expression on his face. “I forgot!”

“Forgot what?” Sango frowns at him, and it only gets worse as Miroku gets more and more frantic. Shippo clings to his neck for a second but then has to shift as his holder passes him – rather suddenly – over to Sango. There’s a moment where Inuyasha is debating killing a man in a rabbit playpen, but Shippo doesn’t seem upset at all. In fact, he’s smiling, watching Miroku with something like glee.

Sango, on the other hand, looks like someone just punched her in the stomach. The blush is far worse, the tips of her ears red and visible with her high ponytail. Her arms are so wrapped around Shippo that the kid couldn’t move even if he wanted to.

“Miroku!” she chastises, alarmed. “What is going on?”

Any frantic behaviour that once existed is gone, instantly and without a trace. Miroku is smiling, coy and pleased, as he very obviously looks his wife up and down like a trail of blazing fire. “I forgot to tell you how breathtaking you look,” he says then. Somehow, he sounds genuine and not like an absolute sleazebag. It’s astonishing. “But I’m going to be honest with you: this look” – and here he waves his hands at her, at the fact that she’s holding Shippo in her arms protectively – “is maybe the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

There’s one second in which Inuyasha processes this.

There’s another second where he goes over it again, just in case he’s wrong.

Then at last—

“Oh my god,” Kagome yells, incredulous. Before Inuyasha can even do anything, she’s pushing away from him, storming up between the couple and gently – but firmly, with a briskness Inuyasha is maybe a little turned on by – prying Shippo from Sango’s arms. “Not _in front of the child_. Miroku! You know better!”

Shippo snuggles into the crook of Kagome’s neck, looking rather happy with himself. Inuyasha, still a handful of feet away, can only stare.

This.

This is an image he could get used to.

This is an image he _wants_ to get used to.

This is what he _wants_.

He wants Kagome, holding onto Shippo with the same protectiveness and adoration that he feels. He wants her fierce regard for him. Her unwavering desire to keep him safe.

Inuyasha decides without really even doing so. Conversation or not, plan or not, he wants to figure this out. Needs to.

He thinks that just maybe it’s worth it.

* * *

What happens after is easy. Too easy. Inuyasha should have known that life is never this way, not if it can help it.

Shippo’s pre-school tantrums still exist, but Inuyasha knows ways to coddle him into acquiescence. It’s like bribing, but it’s done with touches and promises. His kid seems stubborn at first against this but slowly, time after time after time, he seems to accept it. He seems to accept that Inuyasha isn’t leaving him. This isn’t a drop-off. It lasts for as long as it takes to get him there and for that, Inuyasha is thankful.

Jinenji comes and goes, helpful and steadfast as always. There’s a simplicity in his friendship with the man that makes Inuyasha pathetically grateful. He’ll never admit it but it’s true nonetheless. When his friend messages him from a farmer’s market, offering fresh fruit and vegetables and marinades that Inuyasha knows nothing about, the gratefulness swells and threatens to overwhelm. It’s okay though. It’s Jinenji.

Sesshomaru is Sesshomaru.

And then there’s Kagome.

“Okay, so maybe this place is bigger than I thought it was,” she says with a wince, looking around. It’s the private park her building has. It’s nothing close to what their public park is like: for one, everything is new and shiny. It barely looks used and that alone has Shippo jumping up and down one warm evening. His hat is practically falling off with how fast he’s whipping his head around, and Inuyasha has to chase him and press it on further before he lets his son run off to climb the structure.

“It’s fine,” Inuyasha assures her, an eyebrow raised. Kagome smiles back at him in turn, the sunshine of it hitting a part of him deep in his chest. He hasn’t seen her for almost a month, since Miroku’s birthday party. They’ve FaceTimed once with Shippo, but otherwise it’s only been a handful of texts exchanged between them. Kagome’s been busy filming the final episodes and Inuyasha’s just been _busy_.

“Are you sure?” Kagome says still. She makes a face at the play structure, smile temporarily disappearing. “What if he hurts himself?”

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Inuyasha repeats. He drops the to-go bag of Shippo’s stuff to the ground. It’s not even proper ground; it’s _rich park_ ground. Fake and some weird soft but hard black mat. Inuyasha has no idea what it is. Sesshomaru would know. The thought is not endearing. “We’re the only ones here. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Kagome purses her lips but moments later she lets out a sigh. “Fine, fine. You’re the dad. You know best.”

“I do.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised. You were smart in high school, too.”

“Not as smart as you.”

Kagome huffs but she doesn’t meet his eyes. She’s picking at the skin around her nails, a bad habit he remembers. Inuyasha doesn’t even think before he lightly bats her hand away. “Hey!”

“Stop,” he demands.

Whining, Kagome twists around until her forehead lands on his shoulder. “I’m stressed, okay? This is my first day off in _weeks_ and tomorrow is going to suck and there’s this scene – I really shouldn’t be telling you – but Kikyo and I are basically going to be crying the whole time and—”

He does it without thinking. He pats the top of her head and then buries his hand in her hair. It’s the closest thing to physical intimacy since their make-out session at his apartment. Inuyasha holds his breath, savours the moment, and then pulls away. Kagome stands up without complaint, but she won’t meet his eyes. In fact, she’s back to picking at her finger.

“Crap,” she says then, the same time that Shippo gives out a whoop while going down the slide.

“Yasha!” Shippo cries. “Yasha, did you see?”

“I saw!” Inuyasha tells him. “Go again!” Shippo runs to do exactly that and it gives him a moment to frown at Kagome. “What did you do?”

“Just…” Kagome flushes. “Made myself bleed. It’s fine. It’s not a big deal.”

Rolling his eyes at her, Inuyasha gestures towards the to-go bag. “There are band-aids in one of the zippered pockets. In the main part.”

“Thanks,” Kagome murmurs, bending down to open it.

Inuyasha lets her do whatever, watching Shippo as he jumps and waves and hollers at him. He goes back down the slide again, giggling and laughing. Inuyasha has no idea how Shippo can just be so entertained like this, but maybe it’s the joy of somewhere new.

“Can you hold this?” Kagome asks from somewhere below.

Inuyasha reaches out automatically, grabbing one of the small, travel kid cups thrust into his hand. Kagome’s got Shippo’s stuffed fox in her lap, but it looks like she’s found the right pocket, a small triumphant _ah ha!_ leaving her lips. She takes the stuff back and then Inuyasha runs towards Shippo to pick him up, making him giggle some more as he lifts him back onto another play platform. His kid is talking about some sort of adventure he’s on – space pirates, he’s pretty sure, but Inuyasha won’t question it out loud because he’s been wrong before.

It’s fun. The whole evening is fun. They have dinner and they build with the insane amount of DUPLO bricks in Kagome’s apartment and when Shippo starts to get sleepy they leave. They don’t make a plan for next time because it’ll probably be another few weeks. That’s fine, Inuyasha thinks. Better. He and Kagome are friends and until they figure it out, he doesn’t want Shippo to think any differently.

It’s nice, though. To have something to think about when he’s alone. His life is so filled with Shippo all the time – morning, afternoon, evenings, night. It’s all about him and _rightfully so_. But sometimes, after his son has bathed and brushed his teeth and collapsed into bed, tired after a story and sleepy, Inuyasha wonders. He wonders what there is left of himself, outside of fatherhood.

Hell, outside of the _exhaustion_. Sometimes, when Inuyasha collapses on the couch when their apartment is completely silent, he’s so tired he can’t remember a time he _wasn’t_. Surely before he met Shippo. Maybe even before the official adoption went through, though Inuyasha doubts it. The paperwork and timed visits and court hearings had been so stressful, Inuyasha was running off of coffee fumes long before Shippo officially moved in.

Still, Inuyasha’s happy. He has his son, and his best friend, and his asshole half-brother, and he has Kagome. Even if their relationship isn’t _exactly_ what he wants, he’s happy that she’s back, that she still has a space carved for herself in his life. That’s enough, he thinks. He can make it enough.

_Will_ make it enough. For Shippo.

So Inuyasha works, and he helps Shippo pick out his shoes, and he reads to him _Llama Llama Red Pajamas_ over and over and over again, and he’s happy.

He is. Despite the exhaustion and perpetual fear that he’s failing as a parent, he’s happy.

That should have really been a warning. Inuyasha should have seen it.

It wasn’t and most importantly, _he didn’t_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter: January 15
> 
> **Feedback is love.**


	6. Chapter 6

The next time Shippo has a massive meltdown, many weeks later, Inuyasha isn’t overly surprised. They had managed to go and see Kagome quickly for ice cream one evening, and since it was supposed to only be a two-hour visit, Inuyasha had packed light. He didn’t bring a massive bag of toys – not with all the DUPLO to play with – and he didn’t worry about food. So it was him and Shippo and Shippo’s stuffed fox. They had eaten ice cream and Shippo somehow fell asleep early despite the sugar coursing through his body.

Inuyasha had called a cab, bundled his son up and left. If he looked at Kagome’s lips a little too long, well—No one but him and (probably) Kagome knew.

The problem was he forgot the _fucking fox_.

The stuffed fox is Shippo’s life. Inuyasha isn’t stupid. The fox is his comfort in every way, shape and form. There’s a technical term that he was taught about in one of the therapy sessions, but Inuyasha doesn’t remember it. All he remembers is that Shippo goes nowhere without the stuffed fox, even if it just sits in his backpack at pre-school.

And he doesn’t _have_ the fucking fox because it’s at Kagome’s apartment.

“It’s okay,” Inuyasha promises, hands wiping at Shippo’s tear-stained cheeks. “We’ll go get him right now, okay? We’ll leave early and go to Kagome’s to pick him up. I’m sure she has him. He probably kept her safe last night.”

It’s a last ditch effort to bring calm to Shippo’s tremulous world. Slowly, it works, his tiny hands rubbing at his eyes as he asks, all wobbly, “Like he keeps me safe?”

“Exactly,” Inuyasha promises, kissing his temple. “But we’ll go get him so you can take him to school, yeah? I’ll call Kagome right now. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Promise?” Shippo asks again.

He nods very seriously and pokes his son in the cheek. “Promise, bud.”

Kagome, thankfully, answers. She didn’t realize the fox was at her place but she’s embarrassed to admit that the moment he and Shippo left last night, she went straight to bed. The fox is probably in the living room where they were playing together. Kagome promises to text him a code and to let the concierge know he’s coming. They’ll give him a key, she assures him.

Inuyasha hangs up, takes a breath, and reminds himself that he’s been Shippo’s guardian for nearly nine months now. He can do this.

Bundling Shippo up, Inuyasha gets them ready to go. They’ll pick up some breakfast at a nearby shop – Inuyasha’s pretty sure he knows one where Shippo can nibble on something that’ll last him until snack time – so he decides to call a cab to Kagome’s place. The whole thing is relatively painless. Shippo is still sniffling a little but he’s no longer actively crying. His hand clings to Inuyasha’s hand like a lifeline and Inuyasha pushes down the soft bits of him that want to swell at the affection.

It’s easy. He gets in and the man at the front desk smiles and hands over a key. They go up, find the fox, and Shippo cries a tiny bit more with joy. Inuyasha shakes his head but takes the time to wipe his face down, getting him clean and dry for their short walk to the nearby café. They’re making good time, he thinks. There’s a good chance they won’t even be late to pre-school.

Inuyasha drops the key back off and heads out. Shippo is skipping a little ahead of him, fox clutched tightly in his hands. He’s singing something and it makes him smile, so thankful and grateful and whatever other _-ful_ words that apply. The morning hasn’t been a complete disaster. He’s mitigated it, survived it. He’s still an okay father.

It’s a little while after that he notices a man across the street. He’s scruffy looking, some sort of bag hanging around his hips and a massive camera in hand. Inuyasha wouldn’t really think anything of it except for the fact that he’s staring at him. Staring at _him_ , pointedly. And then his eyes land on Shippo and the camera is raised.

Inuyasha has Shippo in his arms before he’s consciously made the decision to pick him up. He tucks him in as protectively as he can, Shippo squirming in his arms in confusion.

“Yasha, no, I want to walk!”

“Shippo, bud, I know. Hold on,” Inuyasha tells him. Maybe it’s his tone but Shippo doesn’t argue anymore. The fox is like a makeshift scarf as his kid wraps his arms around his neck, holding on. Inuyasha looks around but the man he saw earlier is gone, somehow lost in the barely-there crowd of early risers.

He doesn’t feel better. Inuyasha holds Shippo close and walks – _walks fast_ – in the direction they need to go. He has half a mind to just call a cab, but his cell phone is in his pocket and for some reason he can’t rationally tell his arms to not be completely around Shippo. He keeps an eye out, wondering if he had just imagined earlier. Was he losing his mind?

But no. Inuyasha _knew_. He wasn’t crazy.

The light to cross the street is red and Inuyasha stops, huffing out a breath. Shippo is too quiet, so he shifts him, goes to reach for his phone. “Sorry bud, I’ll let you down in a second. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Shippo answers after a moment. His big green eyes are wide and worried. “What’s wrong?”

“I just thought I saw someone—” But just then, like demonic magic, the man is there again. Not across the road this time, but right beside him. Inuyasha has no idea where he came from or how the hell he got so close, so fast. The man staggers towards them, eyes glassy and even from where he’s standing Inuyasha can smell the alcohol on his breath. It’s not even eight in the morning.

“It’s you,” the man declares nonsensically. A woman standing at the light with them shifts her feet uncomfortably. “You’re Kagome’s man.”

“I don’t know who you are,” Inuyasha says, with a calmness that doesn’t even seem possible. It’s like a flip is switched; his arms are back around Shippo, tucking his head into his neck, and Inuyasha is seconds away from bolting. “But you’ve got the wrong guy.”

“I saw you leave her apartment,” the man slurs. There’s a cocky smile on his face and Inuyasha sees the green of the streetlight so he bolts. He keeps himself twisted, keeps Shippo completely away from any view of the man, but the guy is drunk and on some kind of desperate chase. He lifts his camera and Inuyasha studies the shops around them, trying for one only to realize it’s _closed_. So many of them aren’t open yet and Inuyasha feels a buzzing sensation take over, panic mixed with rage mixed with a sort of calm, calculated, realization that no matter what happens Shippo will be protected _at all costs_.

His attempt to go into a store hurts him because the guy is close again. “Just a picture, man! Come on! I won’t even get the kid in it, you know? I can pay you. I can—"

Inuyasha growls, angrier than he’s ever been in his entire life. The only reason he doesn’t scream is because Shippo is _right there_. “Back off and leave us alone,” he snaps, going to the side. One store has to be open. One _fucking store_ has to be open. It’s nearly eight.

“It’s just a picture, man, I can make you famous!” the guy chirps. “You and your girl, rising the ranks. This her kid, huh?”

And Inuyasha snaps. “ _Fuck off_ ,” he snarls and that’s it, he’s going to flat out sprint and make a fucking run for it, when all of his sudden Shippo pushes up, the effort so surprising that Inuyasha doesn’t even stop him.

Shippo’s got tears in his eyes and he shakes his fox at the man. “You!” he screams. “ _You leave my dad alone! GO AWAY!_ ”

And that’s it. Inuyasha is tugging his face down and he’s running. He nearly takes out some guy but he doesn’t have it in him to feel bad. He sees a woman come out of some store and Inuyasha doesn’t even question it, just grabs the door with all of his strength to swing it wide and then he’s inside, red-faced and furious and _terrified out of his fucking mind_.

A young woman is staring at him, mouth agape as she takes in the scene. Shippo is fully crying against him now and Inuyasha hates everything so fucking much that he takes every ounce of his willpower to not _punch something_.

“Call the cops,” he orders the girl. “Right _now_.”

His phone is going off like crazy – he can feel the vibration in his jean pocket – but Inuyasha kisses Shippo’s face instead, murmuring absolute nonsense to get him to look up again. It takes an eternity, or maybe they’re just really painful seconds. Either way, when Shippo finally does look up, his tiny body is jerking with the sobs and those are tears flowing down his cheeks, so much worse than the missing fox. Inuyasha sits down right on the floor – _collapses_ maybe – and he hugs Shippo and promises him it’s going to be alright, it’s going to be fine.

“Excuse me, sir,” a woman says, no nonsense and looking prepare to go to battle. “What’s going on here?”

“Some drunk guy with a camera was chasing me and my son,” Inuyasha tells her. It hits him then that the woman thinks _he’s_ the problem, and he takes a deep breath to try and calm himself. “He took pictures of him. He was paparazzi, I think. I just—” He hushes Shippo again when the boy whines, thumb swiping over his cheeks over and over to dry the tears. “I need the cops to arrest him or keep him away or _something_.”

The woman’s gaze sharpens then and she bustles past Inuyasha towards the door. He doesn’t look, but he hears her swear and then the young woman from before is rattling off details. It’s only when Shippo settles, clutching his fox and buried in Inuyasha’s chest, that Inuyasha looks around.

He’s in a salon, of all places. One woman is sitting wide-eyed in the far corner, brown paint sticking her hair up at every angle. Inuyasha looks away, and it’s then that he realizes his phone is ringing again. He mutters words that make absolutely no sense at Shippo as he shifts to pull out his phone. There are five missed calls and a flurry of text messages, all from Kagome.

He redials without thinking about it.

“Inuyasha!” Kagome exclaims, but there’s nothing good about it. She sounds wretched, terrified, and he closes his eyes at the knowledge of what’s to come. “Where are you? Are you with Shippo?”

“There was paparazzi outside of your apartment,” Inuyasha tells her. He sounds calm again, deadly so. He’s not sure if he’s grateful or angry about it. “Or, one guy. He was drunk. He harassed us, tried taking photos of Shippo.”

There’s a moment of utter silence and then Kagome’s choking back a sound that’s inhuman. “Fuck, _no_.” She makes another sound and then there’s a loud breath, white noise across the phone line. “Where are you?” Is she crying? Inuyasha thinks she might be crying.

“A salon, a couple blocks away from your place,” he says. “They’ve called the police.”

“ _Good_. Stay there, okay? Until the cops get there. I’m calling Sango right now. She’s going to come to you, okay? If you leave or go to the station or _whatever_ , it’s fine. I’m giving her your number and she’ll call you. She’ll find you.”

Inuyasha nods and then realizes that she can’t see him. “Yeah,” he says simply. Shippo mutters a weak “Yasha?” into his chest, and he kisses his tangled bangs and holds him closer. “Yeah, okay.”

“I’d come but I’d—I’d make it worse. It wouldn’t—” Kagome cuts herself off and she’s definitely crying, but she’s trying not to let him know. Inuyasha doesn’t even know how to feel, there’s just too much and right now, Shippo is his only priority.

“It’s fine,” he replies. “I have to go.”

“Okay,” Kagome whispers. “Don’t go back outside. Just—Let Sango help, okay? We’ll do everything we can.”

“Okay,” Inuyasha reiterates. “Okay. We’ll talk soon.” And then he hangs up because he’s pretty sure Kagome doesn’t know how to end the call and he doesn’t either.

The police show up and it’s a flurry from there. He gives his statement and a description – the man, unsurprisingly, ran off – but so does the older woman who owns the shop. There was a moment she had seen him, trying to peek through the windows. Inuyasha thinks he’s going to be sick throughout.

It’s only when the police let him know that he’s free to go that Inuyasha—freezes. Realizes, with a sickening thump that he doesn’t want to go back to his apartment because there he’s alone, and alone is not what Inuyasha can be right now. Not when he’s fucking Shippo up so badly. He needs someone that’s going to make sure they eat even while Inuyasha hugs his kid and tries to distract him with toys. He can’t do both. Inuyasha surely _can’t do both_.

He’s hitting the contact details on his Favourites and doesn’t think about how bad this is going to be.

He answers on the first ring. He always does, the asshole. “Inuyasha.”

“Sesshomaru, I—” Inuyasha holds back a growl, barely. He doesn’t want to scare Shippo anymore. “There was an incident.” And then he relays everything. It’s so much harder to say this time around, compared to telling the cops. Probably because he knows with each word, each _syllable_ , his half-brother is going to be judging him and condemning him like he always does. But he doesn’t _have_ anyone else and while Jinenji is his best friend, Jinenji doesn’t know what the fuck to do about crisis situations. And this? It’s a fucking crisis situation.

The last words tumble from his mouth and then Inuyasha closes his eyes.

“Go to my place,” Sesshomaru says immediately. It’s calm though, focused, like he’s reciting steps on a list. “I’m picking up Rin. Do you need a cab?”

“No.” The sound sticks in his mouth, more of an utterance than anything. For the first time since his mother died – since Sesshomaru was named his legal guardian and Inuyasha was pretty sure his world was crumbling – Inuyasha wants to cry. He doesn’t because he can’t. But he wants to.

He’s pretty sure Sesshomaru knows. “Go to my house, Inuyasha.”

“Okay,” Inuyasha says, and when his half-brother gives an irritated noise he repeats again, “ _Okay_.”

Sesshomaru’s place has one of those garage door openers with a passcode, and it’s been programmed with the date of Rin’s birth since he got it. Inuyasha plugs it in, rubs Shippo’s back as the big doors lift, and then he goes inside. He lowers the garage door and double-checks that every door of the house is locked. He’s never cared before but today, he decidedly does.

Shippo hasn’t said a word but he hasn’t been crying for a while now, either. When Inuyasha sits down right on the ground in the mud room so he can take both of their shoes off without letting him go, his kid peels away slightly. His cheeks are still flushed but he places his hands on Inuyasha’s face and stares.

“Hey bud,” Inuyasha says, because he’s got nothing else. _I’m sorry_ doesn’t even begin to cover it. _Are you okay_ just sounds fucking dumb to ask. He’s not okay, so why the hell would Shippo be? “Let’s get your shoes off, yeah?”

“Okay,” Shippo answers. Neither of them move for a second and Inuyasha’s about to gently twist him around so he can get at his shoes when a tiny, sticky finger very aggressively pokes his cheek.

Inuyasha blinks. He may actually be crying right now. Fuck.

“You’re such a good kid,” he says, and _oh fucking shit_. That’s his voice. Trembling. What the fuck _is he doing_? “You know that, right?” What is he saying.

What is he _saying_?

“Yup.” Shippo sits back and starts to pry at the Velcro of his shoes. He only pauses after one of the shoes come off, held in the air like an offering. Inuyasha takes it. “You’re a good Yasha.”

_He’s a good Yasha_.

And it hits him then, like a ton of fucking bricks. Like an entire train, full speed, non-stop and not even caring a fucking little. Like a rocket being launched into space. _Whatever_. Something big and heavy and fast and painful. Inuyasha isn’t a fucking genius, okay? But he’s also got perfectly good hearing and somewhat decent memory recall and Shippo—

Shippo had—

Shippo had called him ‘dad.’

_You leave my dad alone!_

“Why are you crying?” Shippo asks. He looks scared again, his green eyes wide, and Inuyasha wants to scream into a pillow or something. “Are you hurt?”

_Only my pride_ , he thinks but absolutely doesn’t say. Inuyasha is raising his son to be a much better, more dignified and emotionally-capable human being than he is. “I’m not hurt,” he tells Shippo, as clearly as he can. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

This, as is typical, gets him one of those _looks_ again. The ones that Shippo doles out like candy, a bit unimpressed and vaguely confused. “He was just a bad guy, like Naraku. And Naraku always loses.”

“Yeah bud,” Inuyasha agrees. “He does always lose. Come on. Rin is going to be here soon and you haven’t even had breakfast yet. Let’s find a snack.” Sesshomaru is absolutely going to cook the moment they get back.

He’s distracted with Shippo – in making sure that Shippo is distracted – that he almost misses the text message when it comes in. Text message may be putting it kindly. It’s more like an assault of _pings_ , one after the other after the other. Shippo is thankfully digging through the cabinets in Rin’s play room looking for a specific doll, so Inuyasha takes the moment to check it.

[ **Incoming Message: Unknown Number** ]

_It’s Sango._

_I’m on my way to you._

_Where are you?_

Inuyasha takes a breath and sends off Sesshomaru’s address. If his half-brother is mad, he’ll just have to deal. Sango sends back a confirmation but nothing else. He’s honestly not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. It _feels_ like a bad thing, but honestly everything feels bad right now.

Wait, shit, the pre-school.

Inuyasha calls them, making up an excuse for now. If something crazy happens, he’ll call Nazuna back and fill her in. Otherwise, it’s not important. They weren’t anywhere near the pre-school anyways, so it should be safe. Still, he’s on the phone with one of the other administrators there when Rin bursts through the door, her soft brown eyes latching onto him pitifully before she hugs him. Sesshomaru arrives just as Rin lets go and starts to fuss over Shippo. It’s perfect, actually, because Inuyasha can wrap up the call and step away.

And by step away, he means go into the hallway where Sesshomaru disappeared to in order to figure out just how unhappy his half-brother is. Inuyasha’s not even sure why he’s so worried about it. Sure, Sesshomaru _warned him_ in a roundabout way about this, but it wasn’t _this specific scenario_.

Yeah, the excuses aren’t great.

Inuyasha’s too exhausted to even care, at this point. He follows Sesshomaru into the kitchen and leans on the counter while Sesshomaru digs in one of the cupboards for something. Chocolate, apparently. An entire, giant bar of it. Dark chocolate, too. The good brand shit that Inuyasha stares at but doesn’t buy because he’s trying to be an adult, for fuck’s sake.

“Seriously?” Inuyasha asks. He probably should use other words. He doesn’t.

Sesshomaru breaks off a piece and pushes the rest into his hands. “We will not talk about this.”

Somehow, Inuyasha knows that _this_ means _the chocolate bar_. Not the situation. Inuyasha’s both relieved and disappointed. “Fine,” he replies. “Now you can say that you told me so.”

“I told you so.”

Inuyasha had expected it but the fucking dumb thing is that he kind of _didn’t expect it_. Sesshomaru isn’t nice. Sesshomaru isn’t warm and fuzzy. In fact, he’s a shit older brother and always has been. He was a raging asshole to Inuyasha, the absolute worst piece of garbage guardian. Inuyasha tries, most days, to be understanding. It probably sucked and was super hard to take care of a nine year old half-sibling at the tender age of nineteen. It couldn’t have been easy. But Inuyasha had lost his mother, his only lifeline to _anything_ , and Sesshomaru had basically acted like his entire life was a massive inconvenience. They never talked about it, not explicitly. When they had reconnected, Inuyasha had only been doing it because of the adoption. It had only been after that they communicated again on a semi-regular basis.

And yes, Inuyasha had told him to tell him ‘I told you so.’ It’s still bullshit.

“But,” Sesshomaru goes on, “you didn’t deserve it.”

That only slightly makes him feel better. Inuyasha takes another piece of chocolate. “I honestly don’t get it. There’s never been paparazzi around her place before. Kagome’s always careful but mainly in a general sense. Like if she gets a Starbucks, she doesn’t want some fans to know that she goes to that particular Starbucks all the time. Not because of the media, really.”

“Something likely happened,” Sesshomaru says, uncharacteristically helpful. “Have you spoken with her?”

“She was calling me.” It makes sense, actually. Something _must_ have gone down for such a sudden change, and Kagome had tried to call him a bunch of times. It had been going off while he was still mid-running from the photographer. “We didn’t talk much but she’s sending her manager here. Sango Houko. I’ve met her. She’s nice if a little…” Inuyasha shrugs. “Intense.”

His half-brother raises a brow. “I’ll keep the children away.”

“Actually—” Inuyasha bites his lip and swallows his pride. Shippo comes first. Shippo will always come first. “If you can be there, during the conversation, that would be great. I want—” He doesn’t know how to put it into words. This whole situation happened because Inuyasha couldn’t let Kagome go. He thought being friends would be okay. He needs someone completely outside of the situation to make sure he’s not holding on unnecessarily.

Sesshomaru seems to get it though, even without words. He nods. “I’ll speak with Rin. She can keep him occupied.”

“Unless he needs me,” Inuyasha cuts in.

The unimpressed stare is clearly sent to communicate the obviousness of that.

He’s another three pieces of dark chocolate in when the doorbell rings. Sesshomaru is already in the other room with Rin so Inuyasha goes to answer, checking the window at the front door before opening it up. Sango is rapidly typing away on her cell phone, but there’s some odd, crackling static, too, like she’s on the line with someone who isn’t in a great area.

“Hi,” Inuyasha greets, letting her in.

Sango sighs at him, phone lowering. Her full attention bores into him as she shakes her head. “I’m really fucking sorry.” She flinches then and looks around near the ground. Ah, kids.

“They’re in the other room,” Inuyasha tells her.

Her relief is palpable but she continues on like there hadn’t been a hesitation at all. “I’m also sorry that we’re meeting again under these circumstances. Is there somewhere we can talk?”

Inuyasha leads her into the living room. Sesshomaru is already there, sitting in a high-backed chair with a cold, hard gaze. It almost makes him flinch, and it hits him then that this is a familiar look. A look he hasn’t seen since he was far, far too young. A look that hasn’t been directed at him once since they’ve reconnected, which means a host of feelings Inuyasha absolutely doesn’t have fucking time for.

“Sango,” he says, because he has to say something or probably scream. “This is my half-brother, Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru, this is Kagome’s manager, Sango Houko.”

“A pleasure,” she greets, barely sending him more than a quick acknowledging glance before she sits down on the couch. “On the line with me is Kagura Ogami, the publicist handling this.”

“You mean the one that missed whatever happened to cause this in the first place?” Sesshomaru asks, stone cold and politely disinterested.

Inuyasha goes to cut him off – they don’t even know what happened yet – but Sango huffs a breath and shakes her head. “No, Kagura has been working for Kagome for a grand total of an hour now.”

“Closer to ninety minutes,” comes a deep, female voice from Sango’s cell phone. Inuyasha blinks at it because he _knew_ Sango was talking to someone in the beginning, but it had been so silent ever since that he’d forgotten.

“And I’m sure you’re billing me,” Sango replies, easy. “I’m not going waste time. Very early this morning, a photo was released through one of the popular tabloids, on their website and social channels. Do you care to know which one?” Inuyasha takes a moment to process this before shaking his head. Sango nods. “Doesn’t really matter anyways because within an hour, the photo went viral. This is really only because of an interview that both Kagome and Kikyo did to promote the series. It was shot nearly two months ago, but the magazine only released the video footage two days ago to align with the final episodes of the season. Nothing… Nothing was really said, but our publicist at the time should have caught it anyways. Do you want to see the video, or should I just tell you?”

Inuyasha frowns for a moment before sighing. He just wants the facts. “Tell me.”

“Send the link,” Sesshomaru cuts in then, cold but firm. “We can look at it afterwards.”

Sango nods. “As a general rule, we don’t allow interviewers to ask about our clients’ romantic lives. Rarely does this stop them, especially if interviews start to go well and they feel a certain rapport has been built. At one point, the interviewer asked if either Kikyo or Kagome drew on their own personal romantic relationships to help them with their characters’ reactions to the romantic entanglements promoted in the show. It was a comment meant clearly for Kikyo because everyone thinks that she and Suikotsu – uh, the actor opposite her – are an item in real life. The problem is that Kikyo had a bad reaction, and she visibly startled and looked at Kagome. It was… Suggestive.” Sango sighs. “They ended up both giving the usual responses to deflect and the publicist at the time didn’t see anything overly negative with it. Then it was released two days ago and both Kagome’s and Kikyo’s fanbase took it as some sort of sign. Kagome’s name started to trend as of yesterday, and because of it, her value in pap photos was born. She’s never trended like this, ever. Kagome’s always lived quietly and has never tried to be publicly open. That’s why we didn’t expect what got leaked.”

Without further hesitation, Sango pulls out a manila folder from her purse. She takes out two photos and places them on the small table between them.

Inuyasha exhales _hard_.

These photos are—They’re from a month ago, when he, Shippo and Kagome had gone to the playground within her apartment complex. The photo, thankfully, doesn’t show Shippo at all. However, even Inuyasha – who knows next to nothing about the entertainment world – can see how intriguing it is. Inuyasha is standing there holding what’s clearly kid-sized items, and Kagome is crouching over their to-go bag. It makes them look like parents, searching for something for their child at the park. The only missing piece is Shippo and Inuyasha realizes only then that his hands are shaking.

“That’s private property,” Inuyasha says, the only thing that crosses his mind. The moment it’s out he wonders, _what does that even matter_?

“I won’t go into all the details,” Sango tells him gently, “but this is the sum of it: someone who lives in the building clearly recognized Kagome and took the photo. Whether they tried to shop it around before her name was trending is something we’ll never really know, but once Kagome’s name became popular it was snatched up immediately. Hence the leak this morning. I’ve already been in contact with building owners, and contractually there are obligations that were broken here. They’re complying for right now, and we’re getting access to the footage so we’ll know who did this. Kagome has already sent for her stuff to be packed up; she’ll be moving. Legally, we’ve done everything we can with every media outlet there is.”

“Kagome is going to release a statement in the next hour,” Kagura says, tinny on the phone line. Inuyasha barely stops himself from flinching; he’d forgotten she was there, again. “Would you like me to send it to you prior to its release, Mr. Taisho?”

Inuyasha eyes Sesshomaru, but his half-brother doesn’t move. He figures that’s answer enough. “No, I trust her.”

“Kagome has made it clear that the number one priority is to remove any and all focus from you and your son,” Kagura continues. “I’ll be honest with you: this isn’t going to last long. The hype will last another few days at most. This isn’t my first rodeo with these kinds of things. Within a month, as long as Kagome does everything we tell her to, this shouldn’t be an issue. She’ll go back to some semblance of what her life was before.”

“Really.” Sesshomaru leans forward, focused on the phone lying on the table. “You think it’ll be that easy.” It’s a statement, not a question, and it’s clear that he doesn’t believe a word of it.

“There’s nothing easy about it, Mr. Taisho,” Kagura says wryly. “There’s a formula to this like everything else. There’s no room for error, but Kagome is quite adamant despite her distress. We know her priorities and she’ll do whatever it takes to meet them.”

Sesshomaru hums but says nothing more.

“There are,” Sango interjects, “some additional legal matters. Right now, we’re pursuing to the fullest extent available to us. They’re still looking for the man who followed you, but it’s only a matter of time. Once found, there are a few things we can do. Most of them involve you, however, and what you want to move forward with. Kagome—” She pauses for a moment, as if torn. “Kagome will do whatever you think is best. If you’re okay to do so, I can have her lawyers contact you and let you know what options you have, once we have the full picture. This man was likely freelance and your statement to police identifies him as intoxicated. We’ll do everything we can to bury this.”

“Okay,” Inuyasha replies. “You have my number.”

More details are exchanged and eventually, Kagura hangs up. Sango doesn’t delay, promising to keep in close contact. “I already have scouts by your apartment and by Shippo’s pre-school,” she tells him firmly. “There’s no reason for anyone to be there, but before you go home, let me know and I can ensure everything is clear for you. For the next two weeks, your transit to Shippo’s school and your work will be provided and paid for.”

“Do you really—” Inuyasha looks towards the play room, the muted sounds of Shippo babbling away to Rin a troublesome distraction.

Sango reaches out, her hand a firm grip on his forearm until he looks back at her. “No,” she says, even though he never finished the question. “No, I don’t think anyone will be near your home. Kagome’s apartment complex was compromised because someone sold her details at an opportune moment. They wouldn’t have known she was there, otherwise. She’s always been extra careful.” Sango hesitates for only a second, brow furrowing until the expression clears with a decision. “She became extra careful, after she reconnected with you. After she met Shippo.”

Inuyasha nods but the things he wants to say are all caught up.

“Kagome hadn’t known until I told her,” Sango continues. “That’s why you weren’t given a heads up. That’s my fault, for relying on people hired before my time with her. It was lazy. I won’t fuck up again.”

“This wasn’t your fault.” The fact that she thinks so, that she thinks Inuyasha believes it to be, makes frustration build within him. “It wasn’t her fault either.”

For the briefest second, Sango looks relieved. She’s searching his face though, looking for the lie. When she doesn’t find it, she sees something else instead. It’s the same look Jinenji gives him when he realizes exactly why Inuyasha’s doing something he doesn’t like. It’s a look he gets to see often. “Inuyasha, this wasn’t your fault either.”

“He’s my son. My choices made this a possibility.”

“That’s a dangerous road to go down,” Sango warns. Her gaze never wavers and the hand that’s still holding onto him grips firmer. “Trust me, I know.”

“You don’t have kids,” Inuyasha counters immediately, without even thinking.

Sango flinches, but it’s a small, practiced thing. Something she’s been able to get used to over the years. “My point exactly.” She steps back then, letting him go and pasting a small smile onto her face. Inuyasha feels like its no less genuine. “Call or text me for anything, and I’m serious about letting me know before you decide to go home, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“And if—” Sango sighs heavily. She’s only partway out the door. “And if Kagome wants to talk to you?”

Despite everything, it’s still not a question in his mind. Inuyasha thinks it should be. “She knows how to find me.”

“Dangerous roads, Inuyasha,” Sango says then, not even sparing him another glance as she walks down the front pathway towards her car. “We always have to take one or two to move ahead in life. The only problem is when we try to speed our way through a goddamn rainstorm.”

Inuyasha shakes his head, incredulous. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

This time, her grin is the sharp, assessing one he’s used to. He only receives a glimpse of it before she hops into her SUV. It starts up and moments later, like a bad movie, the window rolls down. “How else do you drive on dangerous roads?”

Again, what the fuck does that _mean_? “Next time Miroku wants to borrow Shippo, I’m going to let him!”

Sango waves a dismissive hand at him. “If you can’t avoid the road, just drive slowly, you big idiot. You’re going to get there eventually, right?”

“Stop being cryptic!” Inuyasha yells, shooting her one last incredulous look before shutting the front door. Sesshomaru, because Inuyasha can’t catch a fucking break, stands there watching him. “This is really not the time.”

“You don’t want breakfast.” Sesshomaru simply stares at him, unforthcoming with anything but those words. It’s infuriating. It trips Inuyasha triggers. It sends him into a _rage_.

But— “Obviously I do.”

His half-brother’s nostrils flare the tiniest bit, a true tell of repression, before he saunters towards the kitchen. “What was that all about?”

“Sango’s just trying to be the next Yoda or something, I don’t know. The woman is terrifying.” He hears Rin and Shippo laughing, the sound only broken when Inuyasha walks in and catches Shippo’s attention. Those green eyes are bright with ease, not the broken or frightened thing he thought he’d see. Shippo stops trying to get up on his chair and runs over instead, crashing into his legs.

“Yasha, Rin says I can have the orange cup today,” he says happily, pointing with an excited flourish towards the table. “She _always_ has the orange cup.”

“Guess today’s not all that bad then,” Inuyasha replies, bending down to poke him in the cheek. “Now go sit down before your uncle starts yelling at me for manners.”

“I’ve given it up for a lost cause,” Sesshomaru declares. He’s holding two plastic plates in hand, food on both. Inuyasha takes them with an eyeroll.

“Yeah, yeah.”

He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop but somehow with Rin’s vibrant story telling and Shippo’s infectious laugh, everything feels…normal. Weirdly so. Inuyasha knows he’s going to have to talk to Shippo about everything, will have to ensure that his kid is okay. It’s fine and dandy for him to talk about the drunk asshole as a bad guy like Naraku, but it may not stay that way. Inuyasha has to be there for him. Inuyasha has to support him.

“ _Inuyasha_.”

His name catches him off guard. It takes a moment for him to realize that the kitchen is quiet, that Sesshomaru is staring at him with something like exasperation if such an emotion could be wrenched from him, and that his plate is still half-full. “Shit.”

“Language,” Sesshomaru chides immediately. “And don’t be stupid.”

“Why do you always say that?” Inuyasha grumbles, his irritation flaring. His half-brother points at his fork and he dutifully take a bite. The food has gone cold but Inuyasha is oddly hungry. He finishes another couple mouthfuls before he tries again. Sesshomaru hasn’t yet left, which means there’s more to be said. That, or his half-brother really is worried about him which—That doesn’t even bear considering. “Are you trying to be a dick? Answer the question.”

“Remind me.”

Inuyasha truly believes that one day his eyes _will_ get stuck mid-roll, and it will be this asshole’s fault. “Why do you always say the same shit to me?”

“Because you don’t listen the first time.”

“Ha! Says you who just asked me to remind—”

“Inuyasha,” Sesshomaru interrupts, as eerily still as ever. It’s a calm sort of steel, a knife that approaches slowly but guts you nonetheless. “Don’t be stupid.”

“When am I ever?”

“You almost didn’t adopt Shippo because you were worried you wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

Inuyasha scowls at him. “Almost, but I _did_.”

“Because I told you to not be stupid.” Sesshomaru leans forward the slightest amount, just enough for his hands to grab at Inuyasha’s now empty plate. He rises with a fluidity and grace that Inuyasha both hates and is secretly jealous of. This particular sort of irritation just adds fuel to the fire.

“Yeah?” Inuyasha scoffs. “And what am I doing now you’re trying to stop me from?”

Sesshomaru presses his lips together in a tight line and outright glares. The result is Inuyasha practically falling from his chair.

“What the fuck kind of tantrum was _that_?” he exclaims.

Sesshomaru turns away. Inuyasha is bewildered and more than a little worried until he finally gives an answer. “You think you’re a bad parent.”

_You think you’re a bad parent_. And Sesshomaru is trying to get him to do the opposite, which would mean to think he’s—

“Holy shit,” Inuyasha breathes, eyes wide. “You actually like me.”

“I would not go that far.”

“You _care_.”

Sesshomaru placidly turns on the tap to rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

“I know your secret now,” Inuyasha whispers, rising from his chair to stalk closer, hands up like he’s approaching a wild animal. “You’re like the Hulk. You repress and repress, but the secret is that you’re _always caring_.”

When his half-brother picks up the used knife from breakfast making, Inuyasha scatters. Shippo probably needs him, anyways.

* * *

The rest of the day is—

Well, it’s not bad. It’s not even particularly hard. The thing is that Inuyasha operates on barely any sleep. He’s fueled primarily through sheer stubborn will, the realization that he can’t leave Shippo wanting for anything, and caffeine. Lots of caffeine.

Inuyasha stares at what’s probably his fifth mug since they got home, a little after lunchtime. Sango had assured him that there was no paparazzi activity but had paid for and sent a car to take them both home anyways. Shippo had been delighted at the change.

“Yasha.” Unruly red hair is immediately in his face, blocking his vision. Inuyasha has to become a Cirque du Soleil artist and contort himself so that the coffee in his hand doesn’t tip and land on them both.

“Shippo, careful bud.”

“But it’s story time,” he pouts. “You promised.”

Inuyasha promised once, back when Shippo first moved in. It’s basically the one thing his kid has clung to. “I did and I will. But you haven’t even brushed your teeth yet.”

“You didn’t too!”

Oh, his poor, sweet coffee. Inuyasha holds back a sigh. “Okay, okay. Let’s get ready for bed. Come on.” Some more body contortion allows for him to get up with minimal disaster. Shippo skips into his bedroom, his pajamas already visibly laid out on the bed. Inuyasha dumps what’s left in his mug and tries not to cry. This is for the best anyways. Caffeine this late at night can’t be helpful for him.

Ha. This late at night.

It’s seven.

“What have you become?” Inuyasha whispers to himself, rubbing his hands over his face. God, he used to _party_ and shit. What a concept. The thought actually makes him feel a little thick because he absolutely would _never_ want to party again. What a waste of prime sleeping time.

“Yasha!”

“I’m _coming_ ,” Inuyasha doesn’t whine. He doesn’t. “Are you in your pjs?”

“Yeah.” Shippo peeks out from his bedroom door, his little hands batting away at his bangs. He desperately needs a trim. “Where are your pajamas?”

“In my room.”

“But we’re getting ready for bed, you said!”

God. With logic like that, Inuyasha’s brain may actually collapse. “Okay, okay. Yes, you’re right. _Fine_. Go brush your hair. I’ll be there in a second.”

“It’s already been a second.” There’s that look again, the one Shippo probably patented the second he laid eyes on Inuyasha’s dumb self. “ _Yasha_ ,” he whines.

Maybe Inuyasha’s getting the whole whining thing from him. Like, kids learn from their parents but maybe it’s the reverse with them? “I’m coming,” he repeats for what feels like the billionth time. “Bathroom. Go.”

Shippo huffs – well, maybe the mimicking-actions-thing _does_ go both ways – and disappears again.

Inuyasha switches to sweatpants and the softest, oldest shirt he owns. It’s so faded that whatever logo that was once on it is long gone. There’s a hole in the neck of it. Thank god he’s single.

He recoils from that thought so fast, Inuyasha actually gives himself a headache. _Fabulous_.

“Yasha!”

Dear god, he’s going to die. “Shippo, I’m coming. Give me a minute, please!” He needs a minute more, only it’s strictly for breathing. Inuyasha is not going to have another mental breakdown. He’s _not_. He’s had two already and both were very bad and very much early in the morning. Somehow, he had kept it together when talking with Shippo again over dinner, but that was probably because his kid was still convinced the guy was some sort of henchmen of Naraku’s. Not a problem, just an annoyance. Inuyasha vows to keep checking.

Or is that a bad parenting choice? Fuck. What’s a good one anymore?

With one last breath, Inuyasha goes into their shared bathroom. Shippo is there, hair looking so much worse than before now that the curls are brushed to within an inch of their life, overly fluffy and straightened and god, what a mistake.

Whatever. That’s Tomorrow Inuyasha’s problem. “Okay, time to brush our teeth.”

Shippo bares his teeth at him and Inuyasha pokes his cheek. The routine is familiar, Shippo a warm presence in front of him as Inuyasha stands just behind to ensure he doesn’t fall off the stool. When it’s all said and done, Shippo tucks himself in and holds up his favourite book, waving it. “Story time!”

_Llama Llama Red Pajama_ may actually be the death of him. Never mind exhaustion or a lack of brain cells from being needed so much.

“Is there no other book?” Inuyasha asks, as gently as his breaking sanity can manage. “You have so many.”

“This one,” Shippo insists because his kid absolutely hates him.

Inuyasha dutifully tucks himself in beside his kid and opens the book. Here’s the thing about the story that gets to him: the book is about a kid llama that gets tucked into bed. The kid llama can’t sleep and so he calls out for his mother. _Mother_ , not father. There’s no dad in this book. And that’s fine, Inuyasha hadn’t bought the book because of _that_. Shippo has tons of other books too, stories about families of all kinds. Inuyasha has done the research. He’s trying to give his kid an open, loving mindset, or whatever the fuck the mommy bloggers preach about. _But_ —But. And this is what’s important here: the momma llama is busy doing the billion things she has to do to run the household and she keeps telling the kid llama that she’s coming. But kid llama only gets more upset, until finally – _finally_ – his mom comes back in. She tells him she loves him. She reminds him to be good, and kid llama is so happy that his mom loves him that he goes to sleep without a problem.

Inuyasha thinks it’s cute, or whatever. Maybe a bit weird? It’s a kid’s book. At least this one isn’t about a dying parent being cradled to your chest and _you’ll forever be_. Inuyasha definitely did not cry upon his eighth reading of it.

But--!

(He keeps getting sidetracked.)

But Shippo loves this book so much and Inuyasha doesn’t get _why_.

When he finishes the story, his kid is pressed up warm and happy against his side. His little fingers are idly tugging at his shirt, over and over. He’s in that weird, limbo state of sleepy but not yet asleep. Inuyasha closes the book and twists awkwardly to put it on the bedside table. “Hey bud?”

Shippo hums.

“Why do you like this story so much?”

To be honest, Inuyasha isn’t sure what to expect. It could be anything. Shippo can be such a closed book and while Inuyasha is trying to open him up, slowly but surely, it’s a learning process. A curve that he’s still trying to keep on track for. He tells himself mentally that no matter what Shippo says, it’ll be fine. A book isn’t equal to Inuyasha’s parenting skills.

“Cause I’m the llama in the red pajamas.”

Never mind. Shippo relates to a child llama screaming for a mother that’s too busy to come to him. Inuyasha’s the worst fucking parent in the entire existence of parents everywhere. “Shippo—”

“And you’re the momma llama.”

Dear fucking hell. Inuyasha is screaming, but only on the inside. On the outside, he’s actually dying. “Shippo,” he says again, and oh god that was a voice crack. That was a voice crack. He may actually cry and that will be his third breakdown in like twelve hours and— “Do I make you upset? I told you I’ll always come for you. Always. Remember? Even if I’m late, I’ll still—”

Shippo pokes his cheek so hard that Inuyasha bites the inside of his mouth and flinches from the pain. “That’s why you’re the momma.”

“Because I’m never there.”

He should be used to the _look_ by now. He’s not. Shippo actually looks at him like he’s dim-witted and it’s a true suffering for him. “No. You always come. You stayed.”

Inuyasha remembers another time Shippo poked him in the cheek, just after waking and seeming so surprised by his presence in bed that it hurt a piece of his soul. _You’re here_ , Shippo had told him. “You don’t think the mom llama is bad?”

Shippo shakes his head, burying himself impossibly closer. He feels soft breaths puff against his neck. “No. She’s always comes back. Every night.”

__

_Artwork by[Mamabearcat](https://mamabearcatfanart.tumblr.com/)_

When he falls asleep, Inuyasha doesn’t move. He barely dares to breathe. He lies there in the darkened room and he thinks. He thinks about his life with Shippo and how if this is all he ever gets, he’ll be happy. He thinks about Kagome and her smile, and it doesn’t hurt like it should.

He loves her. He’s always loved her.

His phone goes off a long while later, the vibrations stirring him from a hazy sleep. Gingerly, he breaks away from Shippo’s warm body pressed against his and gets up to answer it. He’s not surprised to see that it’s Kagome’s name flashing on the screen.

“Hey,” he greets in a whisper, closing the door to the bedroom so that it’s only open by a crack. “Kagome—”

“I’m so sorry.” Instantly, concern washes over him. She sounds wrecked, absolutely destroyed either by emotion or exhaustion or both. She sounds like Inuyasha _feels_. “Inuyasha, I don’t even know how to apologize. It’s all—”

“Kagome, stop.” He tries to sound as firm and gentle as possible. “This wasn’t your fault.”

“It was. I should have known better,” she argues, and that’s definitely a small sob. “I saw the statements. The police caught that guy and he was drunk and yelling at Shippo? Taking his picture? What if he tried something else? It was all for a stupid photo and it was all because of me.”

Inuyasha takes a breath and lets it out slowly. He only marginally hates himself when he says: “Don’t be stupid.”

There’s silence on the other end of the line. Well, a form of silence. Inuyasha hears her heavy breathing, the way it shakes as she tries to calm down. He waits with newfound patience. He’s the momma llama that gets everything done and still comes back. Shippo said so.

“Can I…” Kagome clears her throat. “Can I see you?”

“Now?” It’s just past nine at night, but that’s not too late considering. He’s tired, but he’s always tired. That’s why it takes his brain a moment to realize, as Kagome stutters out “oh, no, no I mean, I could come another—” that Inuyasha interrupts with a clear, “Come over now.”

A pause. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. How far away are you?”

Ten minutes later, his phone vibrates with the familiar ping asking for building entry. He allows it and only then gets enough wits together to notice what he’s wearing.

There’s a gentle knock at the door. Too late.

Inuyasha opens it and steps aside, lets in the blonde wearing an oversized baggy sweater, a jacket, glasses and a knit-cap. It takes a few seconds for the costume to fall away: the hat, the glasses and the wig, followed by the jacket. Kagome’s eyes are red-rimmed but her cheeks are as pale as ever, bruised under those dark, imploring eyes. Inuyasha remembers this look from all the way back in high school, when Kagome had come to his house and told him why exactly her life was falling apart.

How her mom couldn’t do it on her own.

How they were moving to live with her grandfather, cities and hours away.

How she wasn’t sure when she’d be able to see him again.

Inuyasha hadn’t been angry, not then, in that moment when Kagome needed him most. He had pulled her inside and taken her to his room, shutting the door in case Sesshomaru came home. Kagome hadn’t cried then but Inuyasha had seen her at the funeral, sobbing for a father that was taken too soon and wouldn’t be coming back. He remembered thinking so clearly that she had to run out. At some point, the tears had to stop.

Apparently, it had been then.

“Inuyasha,” she had breathed out, shaky and overwhelmed. “I don’t know what to do.”

And what could have been done? Inuyasha wasn’t going to be able to hold onto her, not when her family was leaving because they had to. He didn’t begrudge Kagome’s mother for needing help: she had two children, she had to do what was best for them.

And even if it wasn’t best for Inuyasha, Kagome’s future was too important to demand the hardship of staying. So he did the only thing he could think to do in that moment. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her tightly to him. It wasn’t their first hug, but this didn’t feel like a _hug_ , like an awkward brace of closeness that made him achingly desperate for more. This was comfort, and intimacy, and Inuyasha craved this the moment Kagome relaxed into him, clinging back. How could their future ever compare when they’d be long distance? When he couldn’t see her smile or hear her laugh or watch the expressive twists of her hands as she gestured everywhere during a story. It wouldn’t be the same and his heart hurt, knowing that trying to keep this alive would only make things far worse.

Inuyasha took a deep breath, held onto the craving for closeness and savoured what was before him, knowing he may never have this again.

Now, thirteen years later, he knows how very wrong he was. Inuyasha reaches out, lets his arms curl around the back of her head, around her waist. He tugs her close until he feels the exhale of her breath against his chest, through the worn cotton of his shirt. He holds her and that craving slams back into him. When Kagome relaxes into him, he leans back into the wall and sinks, slowly letting the both of them slide to the floor. She doesn’t even hesitate, just trusts that he has her and that nothing will hurt.

“I’m sorry,” she says again, after ages of silence. “I know you said it wasn’t my fault, but I can’t stop thinking that it was. I’m not sure I will.”

There are too many thoughts in his head, flashes of the past trying to collide into his present, wiggling their way forward with ideas of a future. What comes out of his mouth is not what he expected to say, but he finds that it’s what matters most. “When that guy got close to us, all I was trying to do was hide Shippo. Keep his face tucked in and hope that it was enough. He kept trying to taunt me and I’m—You know I’m not the best with that.”

Kagome freezes, muscles tensing under his arms. He doesn’t relent.

“And just when I thought that I was going to have to do something drastic, Shippo—Fuck, you should have heard it. Shippo gets free from my hold and screams at this asshole to leave his dad alone.” There’s only silence and Inuyasha knows that the punchline hasn’t landed. He gathers his courage, enough to admit, “Shippo’s never called me his dad before.”

“What?” Kagome looks earnestly confused, even though she’s heard him talk. “But… Not even if someone asks?”

Inuyasha shakes his head. “He’ll just call me his Yasha. And that’s fine. Even if today was some kind of high-pressured fluke and Shippo never calls me ‘dad’ again or— I never _expected_ him to call me that. Ever. Shippo’s my son but—” He cuts himself off and shrugs again. When Kagome presses closer, he lets the warmth of her touch seep through him. “Today was bad but it was good, too. You learn a lot when things go to shit.” He thinks of Sesshomaru glaring at him in the same motion as he rinses off Inuyasha’s plate to clean it. “Shippo’s okay, too. For now, anyways. It’ll take some time.”

Kagome huffs out a heavy breath, hands coming up to rub at her eyes. “I was so worried about him. You, too, but he’s a child.”

“I know.”

“He can’t properly decide any of this.”

“I know.”

“What if it happens again?” There’s no way to promise that it won’t, and Inuyasha’s not stupid enough to think otherwise. “Inuyasha,” she goes on, “I know this sounds crazy. I know it’s been…months. Not even like a lot of months just…a handful. I know that, but I love him. I love your son.”

If Inuyasha had thought he understood the entirety of how much he loved Kagome before this, he’s absolutely sure he was wrong until this moment.

“Shippo is the best thing that’s come into my life in a long time.”

Inuyasha makes a face. He can’t stop himself from arguing. “What about me?”

“You came into it a long time ago.”

“We didn’t talk for thirteen years.”

She twists in his arms then, making sure to stare right in his eyes. The sincerity in her expression is heartbreaking. “Doesn’t mean you ever left.”

And what can he say to that, exactly?

Inuyasha kisses her and the way she opens up to him is breathtaking. She curls around him, lets her hands tangle in his hair and cup his face like if she can hold him close enough, she can hide him from the world. It’s declaration and intent, written in the thumps of their heartbeats and sealed with each press of their lips. Inuyasha scrambles upwards and Kagome is hasty to follow him, her hands clinging, touch soft before it’s possessive.

The bedroom isn’t far and Inuyasha pulls her there with all the desperation and longing he’s been holding onto for what feels like his entire life. He steals her muted sighs with a kiss, takes off the sweater and the layers underneath with wandering hands. For each inch of skin bared, Kagome reciprocates, unpiecing him bit-by-bit until they’re pressed together skin to skin, lying on Inuyasha’s unmade bed. He hides them under the sheet, kisses her quiet laughs and distracts her with all the ways he can take her apart.

When he finally thrusts into her, Kagome arches underneath him with big dark eyes and a gasping mouth. She doesn’t make a sound, lets her eyes roll as Inuyasha rocks into her achingly slow. There is no room between them. Inuyasha kisses her, messy and wanting, burying his face in the crook of her neck when she tugs him closer still, impossibly so. He whispers words into her skin, punctuates with tiny nips and lets the declarations paint themselves across her skin, there to be known and not forgotten.

It can’t last, even if he wants it to. Whispers turn to pants, the heat and the pleasure building despite his wishes. When he stares at Kagome’s flushed face she watches him unblinkingly, like even a split second of him gone would take him away. When she keens, it’s a quiet exhalation of breath, the only verbal evidence to the way her body tenses underneath him, arching impossibly closer, legs locked around his hips to keep him.

He wants her to keep him. He wants them to try, even if it’s not right now.

Kagome kisses him, messy and slow, and Inuyasha shatters against his will.

He counts the seconds of rest, lets his heartbeat return to normal before he gently pulls away. The bathroom is dark, but Inuyasha doesn’t bother to turn the lights on. He ties off the condom to throw in the garbage, cleans himself and then grabs a cloth for Kagome. She’s wrapped herself back up in the sheets, eyes staring at the closed doorway like she’s realizing the potential dangers of what they just did.

Inuyasha snorts, can’t help but smile at the way Kagome turns to him, caught out. “I’ll get you something to wear.”

“Thanks,” Kagome murmurs. He can feel her eyes watching him as he pulls out another t-shirt and some soft sleep pants. “Does he come into your room often?”

“No,” he answers honestly. She looks a little surprised when he meets her gaze again. “Shippo still hides a little. We’re working on it. We still probably—” _Shouldn’t have_ , but Inuyasha doesn’t regret it, even though the possible disaster of his kid walking in on them would have been bad. He can’t even get over the mortification at just the thought. “When do you have to leave?”

Kagome changes, eyes still skirting to the door like at any second it’ll pop open. “Not until noon, tomorrow. We have a night shoot.”

“Will you stay?”

She sighs. She doesn’t look at him when she says, “Do you want me to?”

“Yes,” Inuyasha answers. “I’ll always want you to stay.”

Kagome smiles at the duvet cover. “That’s a pretty bold admission coming from you.” Her expression doesn’t last. “Inuyasha, I don’t know what to do.”

Those same words. Last time Inuyasha hadn’t said a thing, too terrified of his own emotions and too conflicted on what he was willing to admit. Now, there’s none of that. He’s older, and while he’s only a tiny bit wiser, he knows what he wants.

“We’ll wait,” Inuyasha tells her firmly. He sits down on the bed and flicks at her hands. “We’ll ride out this wave and see where we land.”

“This is the ocean, Inuyasha.” Kagome shakes her head at him, but there’s a softness in her face that has him reaching out, tracing the line of her cheekbone. “There are waves after waves after waves.”

“Did you get that cryptic shit from Sango?”

She glares at him.

“It’s a fair question,” Inuyasha points out. “You should have heard her today.”

“She like to get philosophical when she’s stressed.” Kagome smiles at him. “But I’m serious.”

“I am, too.”

“Inuyasha.”

He shakes his head at her. “I didn’t see you for thirteen years and this is still—” He hates that he doesn’t have the words, that they don’t come so easily. He lets out a frustrated sound. “I’m serious. I love you.”

Kagome is on top of him in a second, arms wrapped around his neck as she kisses him, wet and open-mouthed and disbelieving. It’s so good that Inuyasha curls around her, shifts them so that they’re lying on the bed in a diagonal sprawl over the mattress. She laughs into his cheek, elated. “You just _said that_.”

“Well yeah,” Inuyasha mutters. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing! Nothing, it’s just—I never imagined you would ever say it first.”

“Say what?”

Kagome rolls on top of him, her long hair cascading around them. An errant strand tickles at his jaw. “I love you.”

He smirks.

“I really do love you,” she tells him, kissing him once more before curling against his chest. “We’ll do this, then. We’ll wait and we’ll see and we’ll make it work.”

“Uh-huh.”

“We’ll figure it out. Sango will know. She’ll make a plan. She manages the _Ninja_ , so it’ll be fine.”

“I know.”

“There will be people we can talk to, bring into our inner circle. As long as Shippo is okay, we’ll make it work.”

Shippo will always be the number one priority. Inuyasha smiles up at the ceiling. “Obviously.”

Kagome sighs and hugs him harder. “You’re sure?”

“Didn’t I just tell you I was?”

“You told me you love me.”

“That’s basically the same thing.” She huffs and buries her face into his chest. Inuyasha tugs her closer and reminds her, “I’m sure.”

* * *

##  **THREE YEARS LATER**

* * *

Inuyasha stares at his cell phone, hoping to distract himself. He shouldn’t be so stressed, but he can’t help it. Life has long since been entirely out of his control – probably has been since the moment Shippo dared to roll a ball back at him when he was three and still an orphan – but the last few years have seemed almost out of touch. Blindingly bright. And while not easy, not as difficult as they thought, either.

“Move please, Dad,” Shippo instructs, without giving any warning whatsoever before climbing on top of him. Inuyasha grunts, spitting out familiar, unruly red hair as Shippo worms his way between him and couch cushions. In his hands is a bowl of candy. Inuyasha had relented for tonight and tonight _only_. Special occasions and all that.

“You’re supposed to wait for me to move before you get on the couch,” Inuyasha chides him, poking his cheek. Shippo makes a face but it transforms into a smile within the blink of an eye.

“But this is more fun!”

Of course it’s more fun, Inuyasha thinks with a sigh. Every year that Shippo grows older is another twenty grey hairs that show up on his youthful head. Shippo is only seven – is _already seven_ , and who the fuck let that happen? – but he’s a dangerous mini-clone of Inuyasha. The thought of his impending teen years terrifies him.

“Is it going to happen soon?” Shippo asks, gesturing towards the television.

Inuyasha nods. “I think so.”

“Are you scared?”

He scowls, tickling Shippo’s side before his son can say anything else that’s _absolutely ridiculous_. “Why would I be scared?” he demands, affronted.

“Because you panic when Mom’s sad.”

Inuyasha absolutely does not _scream_ internally. It’s more a wounded whine. This is, of course, a frequent occurrence and has been for the last month. Kagome had been shooting a movie, her second big screen production since the series finale of _Purified_ , and Shippo had waited until she left for a week of international shooting before dropping the equivalent of a massive bomb on his head. “Do you think Kagome will be okay if I call her ‘mom?’”

Inuyasha’s brain had stopped working for a solid three minutes. “What?”

“Dad,” Shippo whined, “don’t make me say it again.”

“You want to call Kagome ‘mom?’”

Shippo flushed and stabbed his toe into the carpet, finding the whole action fascinating. “Maybe.”

It had been a whole thing. Inuyasha had spent the next hour talking to Shippo about it, coaxing him and distracting him in equal measure. Shippo still hasn’t called Kagome that yet, but he liked to try it out when it was just the two of them, sitting at home. It never failed to make Inuyasha’s heart explode and remake itself in equal measure.

“There she is!”

Shippo’s squeal brings him right back, forcing his eyes to take in a zooming shot of Kagome on screen. It’s a quick fly-by but Inuyasha is helpless at the way he feels just looking at her. “Let me have some of that candy,” he says, reaching into the bowl and stuffing his face. Stressful times, indeed.

It only gets worse. So much worse. People that Inuyasha both recognizes and doesn’t recognize fill the screen with their shiny jewels and outfits, their lilting speech and cheers. It’s not until two women take the stage to introduce the next category that Inuyasha groans and closes his eyes.

Shippo smacks his lips as he eats more candy.

_“Here are the nominees for best actress in a motion picture, drama.”_

Inuyasha groans again but it’s because his kid is hitting his side now, again and again until he pries his hands away to stop him. He’s just in time to see the screen fill up, half with shots of a movie and a name called _Through the Well_ , and half of Kagome’s brilliant face, smiling off to the side as the camera watches her in real time. There are more movies – more _actresses_ – called out, and he shouldn’t be scared but dear god, he is.

Shippo grabs at his hand, holding tight.

“ _And the Starlit Award goes to,”_ one of the women standing on the stage says, while the other opens the envelope. “ _Kagome Higurashi,_ Through the Well _!”_

Shippo squeals and Inuyasha is so shellshocked that he kind of just sits there like an idiot, watching as Kagome stands up and hugs Hojo, hugs Yuka and Eri and Ayumi before she makes her way through the press of bodies towards the stage. The music that plays is the familiar powerful ballad that Inuyasha’s heard far too many times from the film. Kagome hasn’t stopped smiling and Inuyasha can’t stop staring. Beside him, Shippo is jumping, landing half on top of him and screaming.

“She won! She won!” He’s tackled into a hug and the both of them watch as Kagome accepts the award, looking breathless and awed and as shocked as Inuyasha felt. The television drones on: _This is the first Starlit Award and nomination for Kagome Higurashi_!

The movie was only supposed to be small, but a good chance for her to firmly shift from television to the silver screen. No one had expected the film to blow up the way that it had, least of all Kagome who had been the lead. Inuyasha knew she had deserved it, had watched countless hours of her pour her heart into the character. They had been living together for nearly a year at that point and while he knew of her dedication – had seen it in the way she kissed Shippo’s forehead or pulled Inuyasha close – he’d yet to see it aimed so heartily towards work.

The buzz surrounding the film had blown up so much that Kagome’s popularity had skyrocketed. Still, the two of them had prepared for this and Sango had wielded their lives with an iron fist to keep Shippo as protected as possible. The world knew about Kagome’s relationship with Inuyasha, and while it wasn’t _uncommon_ knowledge that he had a son, it was absolutely never talked about.

_“I can’t—”_ Kagome starts, staring at the award in her hand with surprise. _“I, uh, am actually really surprised. I didn’t expect this. At all.”_ She laughs then, a high-pitched giggle that makes the entire room light up around her, cheers bolstering her nerve as she grins at the crowd. _“I want to thank the Starlit Press, Kitsune, and Royal Academy for this nomination. To say that I expected it would be a really big lie. To say that I expected so many to love this film, and to love the story of Veritas is just—”_ Kagome laughs again, nervous, and she stares at the award for another quick second before taking a breath. Inuyasha watches as she straightens, as the lines of her body curve softer under the stage light. She is beautiful and breathtaking, and in this moment, she is as powerful as the goddess she played.

_“Thank you to Midoriko, who had this vision and saw it through to the very end. Akitoki, who put powerful words on a page that had to be brought to life. To my girls, Yuka, Eri and Ayumi, for shoring me up and to Hojo for being the kind of person we should all aspire to be. I’d like to thank my team, but Sango especially, because if she hadn’t hit me with the script twenty times, I probably would still be too terrified to open it.”_

Kagome smiles and shakes her head, lets the crowd around her die down a little. Somehow, some way, her beautiful gaze looks outwards, and Inuyasha can feel her pride and love in his very bones. “ _And lastly, to the ones I love most at home: this is nothing without you. I love you,”_ she says, “ _and I love you_.”

The meaning grips his heart and fills it. Feelings are still the absolute worst.

“Take a picture!” Shippo insists suddenly, batting at him with impatient hands. “Quick!” He grabs the cell phone lying innocently beside them, pushing it into Inuyasha’s hands while he twists out to face him. In the background, Kagome is leaving the stage but there’s a moment where they do a close-up on her teary-eyed face and Inuyasha snaps it, Shippo grinning with his hands up in the air for victory.

__

_Commissioned Artwork by[Wolfcry77](https://wolfcry77.tumblr.com/)_

“I’ll send it to her right now,” Inuyasha promises him, letting his kid bounce all around him while he does so. He sends a simple message and flips the screen to show him, shaking his head as Shippo cheers once more and falls backwards in a sugar-induced giggle-fest of happiness. “Come here, before you break something.”

“There’s nothing to break!” he whines but lets himself be dragged back over, wedged between the cushions and Inuyasha’s body. He hugs Shippo tighter, watches as those big green eyes crinkle in a smile.

The rest of the show passes and his son falls asleep with the droning of music and speeches. Inuyasha is exhausted and so he remains on the couch, holding Shippo close. He should really get them both into bed, even though tomorrow is a Sunday and they’ll likely do nothing but rest. It’s a nice thought, the future before them. The way time will both stretch and curl around them, leaving their family unit free, even just for a day.

He doesn’t realize he falls asleep until something nags at him, something that forces him to slowly open his eyes. They’re weighed down with sleep and Inuyasha grimaces, prying them open through sheer force of will. They widen completely when he sees Kagome’s face, staring down at him fondly.

“You should have gone to bed,” she murmurs softly, hand reaching out to brush at his bangs before she does the same to Shippo. “You’ll both be monsters tomorrow.”

“That was going to happen anyways with all the sugar we ate.” Inuyasha smirks, watches as Kagome laughs. Her cheeks are still rosy and her eyes sparkle even in the dim light of their shared home. “Did you have fun?”

“Mmm,” Kagome hums, nodding as she leans down to kiss him softly.

“Let me see it.”

A flash of a grin as she pulls away. “I left it on the kitchen table.”

“Rude.”

“Don’t tell,” Kagome whispers, flushed and pleased, “but it’s so heavy. At the end of the night I almost left it with the engravers.”

Inuyasha snorts, jolting Shippo a little. He stays asleep, nuzzling into his sweater. Carefully, between the two of them, Inuyasha gets him in a proper hold and carries him to bed. Kagome tucks him in, watches him for a few quiet moments before she kisses his cheek. He’s wearing his red pajamas – new ones, ones that they have to get every few months as he grows and grows and grows – and his hand curls around the stuffed fox Kagome presses against him.

Inuyasha waits for her by the door, leaning on the frame. There’s no better picture than the one in front of him. All the movies could disappear, and this would be the reel that he played, over and over again.

When Kagome presses up against him, her head on his chest, she sighs. “They say you can’t have everything.”

He wraps an arm around her, hums into the quiet of their home.

Kagome laughs a little. “This feels like everything though.”

“Just wait until your next press tour and you hate everyone and everything again.” She whacks him lightly, exasperated expression on her face. “What?”

“Way to ruin the mood,” she chastises.

“What? Is this some kind of ending?” Inuyasha whispers to her, nuzzling at her temple. He smells the product in her hair, the sweetness of her perfume. Kagome relaxes against him, pliant and warm, and he presses a kiss there, lets the moment drag on.

It’s not until he pulls them back to their bedroom, tired and happy and under the covers, when he makes his declaration against her skin in the dark. “This is far from an ending.”

Kagome holds him closer and tells him back in kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...This will probably be a series with little snapshots of their lives. I'll just get that out of the way now.
> 
> Again, forever thanks to [Wolfcry77](https://wolfcry77.tumblr.com/), who was an absolute DREAM to work with on this story. Thank you for creating such brilliant art and bringing this story to life. I was so excited to work with you. You're a treasure.
> 
> Also, to [Mamabearcat](/users/Mamabearcat/), who has been a constant supporter. Sharing this and also creating such stunning art. I don't deserve you. I hope you loved this ending.


End file.
